FORCED TO MARRY AND I CHOSE YOU

47

"Hleka futhi,ngik'bonye keh mina" I firmly tell Lindo who immediately shuts his mouth and looks away from me. I hear Khethiwe giggling from besides me,I shoot her a glare and naye she follows in suit...she shuts up. Good. "Mxm" I loudly so in irritation click my tongue and walk out of the room leaving these two monkeys.

So inkinga la wukuthi ngimubi...I'm not lying. Generally I'm a female version of my dad,a gorgeous female version of him. Now I have just cut my hair, ngigunde ichiskop,so ngingu Ntombikayise nqo...my bald head is so ugly. I legit look like a man,I look like someone's son and that's what funny to these two idiots.

Its the morning after the funeral,the how am I feeling today question is very irreverent,so let's just skip it. Last night for the first time I managed to sleep. Thanks to bhuti Akani for forcing sleeping pills down my throat. Now me and my in-laws are supposed to talk about a few things so I'm headed to Tatana Baloyi's home office.

We first talk about the things that we rented and need to be returned to their rightful owners,like the cattle body. A mini truck for transporting livestock. And about settling the balance of any outstanding debts. And how the funeral was handled in general. "I'm a bit surprised,wasn't I supposed to be clothed with black clothes immediately after cutting my hair. Abo mama abashongo lutho" I finally ask when other discussions are out of the way. "Uhm there's no need for you to wear black clothes to show that you are mourning" bhuti Akani speaks not only surprising me but everyone too.

"Excuse me?" That's his dad. "I said that..." He tries to explain himself but his dad interjects. "I heard what you said,don't come into my house with your modern day rules. Tradition is tradition and we will respect it!" He says in a firm tone. Will there ever be peace in the Baloyi family? One minute siyezwana,the next? "With all due respect bava(dad),I'd like us to respect Hlanganani's wishes too" Akani argues. What does he mean by Hlanganani's wishes? "Hlanganani's wishes?" That's Mmabatho asking the question that's occupying my mind.

"Yeah,he said that he doesn't want his wife to mourn him in black clothes. She will mourn in her own way." He answers without wavering. "When did he says that?" I look into his eyes finding it hard to believe him. "We had a conversation about death a while ago" he states. I look around trying to see how does everyone feel about this. Because I for one,i don't mind. "But according to our tradition..." My father in-law tries to speak but Akani cuts him off. "Again you are putting other things...the world,tradition and excuses above your son." He says in a sarcastic tone.

I know that his relationship with Hlanganani is still a touchy subject especially because he feels guilty. Feels like he failed as a father,feels like he should have mended things when he still had the chance. "Okay if that's what he wanted,its fine. I will speak to the elders and try to convince them. However she will only wear long and covering clothes and she will cover her head with a doek." He says sounding defeated. Bhuti Akani can blackmail yho! He even blackmailed his own father. "I have no problems with that" I admit loudly with a grateful smile. Grateful that he chose to listen and chose to fulfill my husband's wish. I'd be very much happy to cover this ugly bald head of mine.

Akani let's out a breathe of relief upon hearing that his father is on board. Is it that important to him for us to fulfill Hlanganani's wishes in death? "Hlanganani didn't have a will." After being asked about what happens to Hlanganani's assets and moneys Akani drops the bomb. How the hell did he not have a will!? There's silence after his revelation. "So what's going to happen to his things?" I ask deep in thoughts. What if they take everything that belongs to him and leave me with nothing? I wouldn't be the first makoti to be mistreated by her in-laws and I will surely not be the last.

I know that they have treated me with nothing but kindness and acceptance however where money is involved... greedy hearts grow out. And I have only been umakoti wabo for only a few months so I wouldn't put it past them. If families out there can take everything from a woman who has been married to their son for 10years without an ounce of shame,sympathy or guilt then who am I? And Tatana Baloyi wasn't exactly thrilled with our marriage to begin with,let's be honest when he first met me,he didn't even talk to me. He was just a bitter grape. I'm visibly shaking, I'm not saying that everything of his should come to me but can I at least get something.