Bloody Knives in My Leftovers

Chapter 14: Honesty is NOT the Best Policy

She only briefly turned to you, sitting with your sleeping sister in the backseat. Her smile was slowly melting, like wax dripping from icarus' wings. She had gotten too close to the sun, too comfortable to realize it wasn't going to be safe for much longer. Motherly instinct screaming at her while her eyes glazed over your blank face. The kind of expression that made her bite the skin around her nails.

'God, what a filthy habit.' The voice in your mind nipped at you.

Still, even though she flitted her gaze over the two of you with a lost longing, she managed to hold onto her fire that seemed to grow stronger by the second. Someone needed protection, and it wasn't going to be you.

"You know, I wouldn't trade you two for the whole entire world." The words she spoke quietly left her lips, making you blink, a lie etched into every syllable.

'What a joke.' The voice pesters again. 'A pathetic last ditch effort to save you.'

'But I don't need to be saved.' You replied, staring at your mothers wilting expression. It chuckles.

"I know," you paused, seeing the way she hissed in a soft breath at your comment. "But same, we love you too." You like to think you meant it, even a little bit. But you're also sure she never believed that.

Her cheeks glowed in the dim street lights that cast shadows into the car as she drove down the empty street. It was obvious she doubted your words but felt the need to say nothing else, just letting the memory sink in slowly.

Your mother reached across and turned up the music, the song lulling you a bit to sleep. The hum of the car accompanied by the tune made your eyes heavy, perhaps you had stayed up a bit too late the night before. Perhaps it was a good distraction.

Momentarily.

Buzzing grows unbearable, you squeeze your eyes shut. Your stomach growls, angry and empty...too empty. Painfully empty. You groan.

The music is too loud, your sister stirs a little.

Underneath your skin is gasoline, catching fire and burning so fiercely that you wince. Fingers scratching harsh red lines into your arms, moving automatically.

The voice soothes you, not even using words. Thoughts enter your mind as if they are your own, and you're almost sure they are. Fingers pulling at dirty skin, needed to lash out so desperately that you panted in the dim light.

You pry your eyes open hoping for respite–

Light flashes, blinds you. White hot pain shooting down your entire body as street lights flicker on the empty road. Forest trees are crowding, urging and waving at you.

And you don't hesitate.

Launching yourself forward with a growl the side of your face slams into the headrest of your mothers seat. She screams, head turning to see as your hands stretch out to yank the wheel from her grasp.

She fights, yelling obscenities while your sister wakes and cries. The car swerves into the other lane and back before another feral noise rips from your throat, mouth empty. Stomach empty.

Hands fly away from the steering, arms locking a firm hold around a thin neck. You don't even fully comprehend the nails biting into the flesh of your forearms, clawing as she choked on her own spit and tears.

Before you know it the car slams into the metal barrier, sending the entire world into a dizzying fling. Your arms unlock for a brief moment as metal and glass collide with the pavement and throw you down onto the upturned ceiling.

And finally, quiet.

Coughing and wheezing for the air that was stolen from the impact you push yourself up with shaky hands. A window in front of you is shattered, an adequate escape. Blearily, you pull yourself forward, dragging weak limbs towards the exit.

You pass under hanging fingers, a tiny body still trapped in a car seat. It gives you momentary pause, eyes darting up to meet wide bulging mismatched colors. She doesn't let out a single breath, small chest collapsed and rendered useless as ribs splinter and stab into internal organs.

A charming blue twinkles in the dim moonlight, always in stark contrast to a muddy brown. It had always captivated you, made you a little envious. The thing that separated her from the crowd was marveled at, praised and cooed at. It was never the same for you. You weren't as special.

That ugly green feeling moves your hand upward without much rational thought, fingers curling around the slimy orb, wet with tears and blood.

And you yank.

A wet cough rattles you for a moment as you clutch the eyeball to your chest, hidden in the confines of your shaking hand.

Now it was yours, now you would be admired. Now you were the right kind of special. You stare at it, marble-like in your palm. It stares right back and your cough slowly soothes.

With a determined grunt you squeeze it tightly into your hand and continue sliding forward, ignoring the iron scent and taste that seemed to strangle you.

But finally, the open air hits you. It smells like gasoline and crisp wind as the sounds of the night seem to buzz.

You push yourself to the metal siding of the road, letting your body lean against it as you sit in shattered glass and wince at the feeling of sharp tingles in your palms and knees. Jeans that were once freshly washed are now stained with deep reds and ripped open, allowing cool air to brush against wounds.

It's almost peaceful as you tilt your head back and rest it against the smooth metal surface. The soft hum of cicadas surrounds you and when you sigh a cloud of warm air wafts in front of you. You relish in it for a moment, reality taking a second to actually hit as you sit in front of the smoking Nissan.

Then, in the dead of night, the smallest scrape of glass on pavement. Like a deer in headlights you are still; alert, to the sudden stillness that follows the slight scuffle. As if someone was trying to be as quiet as possible.

'She's escaping.'

You scramble, standing on wobbly legs and using the beam to usher yourself upward. You don't see anything, just the smallest glimpse of a hanging body and–

'I don't lie, do I?' It taunts, no mouth to smile with and staring with no eyes through the tree line.

A twitching leg, moving silently and slowly. Wearing your mothers worn winter boot. The hum becomes a buzz.

You stalk around the front of the car, eyes so wide they felt like they would pop right from your skull, lips parted as you panted out adrenaline.

Snow begins to flurry, catching on your eyelashes and dangling in your hair. And as you turn around the swoop of the hood, she is revealed.

Bloody fingers grating against the road, crimson wet hair hanging around her bruised and cut face. You see her lips tremble through the strands.

You kneel, moving closer, hand outstretched as if to help her up. She whimpers, a sound so invisible it's hard to catch.

Your trembling fingers part her hair and push it back agonizingly slow, the buzz all you can hear now. Rudely clouding every thought as one (e/c) eye stares up at you, welled with tears.

You don't even register that you have yet to blink, snow drifting into your wide eyes and evaporating.

"Sweethe–"

A crunch reverberates into the night, one single converse buried deep in hair and bone. Her face smacks into the concrete, bouncing slightly. You don't stop, leg raising again and delivering another blow. You feel a sharp jagged piece of skull digging into the soft sides of your shoe, watching as the snow melts in the splattery rivers of blood.

You can't control it anymore, digging the heel of your shoe into the brainy mess. It flies onto the road, the squelch of your stomping only adding to the gory scene. The voice in your head eggs you on as you watch your mothers fingers go limp.

It doesn't end until two startling lights shine down the glistening road, butting through the flurry of snow. It gives you pause, head snapping up to stare blankly at the approaching car. Foot still buried into a smashed mess of cranium and brain.

As the driver presumably catches onto the wreck, they slow, pulling onto the opposite side not far from where you stood. You hear a door open and slam closed, the scuffle of footsteps coming upon you quickly.

"Hey! Are you ok!?" The woman has a hand over her eyes, peering into the darkness illuminated by her headlights. You heave in a large breath, the waterworks beginning without control. A helpful ruse you don't comprehend as your own.

She's getting closer, a worried expression etched into her face. "Stay there! I'll call nine-one-one!" She calls, bringing out a phone. Your shoulders shake, coughing a little as you stare.

"Yeah..there's been a crash...mhm.." You only hear one side of the conversation as she begins to tell the operator about the accident. She gets closer and you recognize she's trying to get your attention. You act without much thought.

"Please! I d-don't know what.." you are swallowing salty tears, legs trembling as you shift closer to the stranger. Trying for the helpless child, watching as she panics and steps towards you.

"Yes, there's a girl here...Sweetheart? Are you–"

She freezes, words dying on her lips. You're standing there, splattered in your mothers familiar blood, sobbing softly. It's almost convincing....except you notice her eyes trained downward, taking in the site of a murder. This was no accident.

You can faintly hear the operator ask questions, nothing leaving the woman's mouth as she switches her gaze from your soaked shoes to your teary face. Then she gives you a shaky smile.

"I-I'm getting some help...wait here.." She mutters, quickly turning and covering her mouth with a trembling hand. You hear her whisper things, but it's too late. For her and for you.

Before she can begin to relay your crimes you are clambering and sprinting across concrete, toes slipping in viscus and blood. Launching yourself at her.

She screams, phone clattering to the ground as you tackle her. She scrambles to remove you, the operator on the phone is hurriedly typing away and asking for an update while you claw at the woman's face.

You feel your fingers dig into the soft parts of her face, dipping into her eye sockets and tugging upward, rearing her head back by force and dripping drool and sweat onto her cheeks. She's sobbing, begging in garbled language for you to let her go. You don't though, hungrily peeling at her skin.

She's a bit older you realize, wrinkles and loose skin making it easier for you to tear at her face. Blood smears around onto your palms and a growl escapes your lips as you lean down and sink canines into her cheek.

Screaming echoes onto the street but it's soon quieted as your lips touch bone and your tongue swirls into the flesh. She bleeds out, finally silent as you suck skin and meat into your mouth and swallow.

It's not a pleasant taste, but you seem to have acquired it as it dulls the hunger and emptiness inside of you. The voice seems to subside, leaving you a disorientated mess in the middle of a damp road.

- — — - - - - -

You don't remember much past that, vaguely recalling dragging a body into the woods. But then it's all gray and hazy from there, like someone blew cigarette smoke into your mind.

There was a ceremony, long distance relatives patting you on the back and shaking their heads. There were doctor, weekly therapy sessions.

But as far as anyone was concerned, you were an adult. And as far as you knew, nothing besides a tragic accident had occurred.

The next year was applications to community college, packing, finding a roommate, getting a job...moving on. And that dark taunting never came back except for vivid nightmares that made you shiver and ball your knees to your chest.

You had met Bailey on craigslist while hunting for reasonable rent prices, met Riley the second day she started working at Starbucks. And from then on it was the same shitty boring routine, and slowly everything melted into the background.

You took regular mundane classes, emailed professors, wrote essays, took the bus to and from work, and just lived.

Never in a million years did you think it would end up like this.

You blink, eyes sore from staring at the same empty space. Tim is watching you with a cautious expression. You frown.

The two of you stare at one another, silence eating into the once laid back atmosphere.

Then he licks his lips, parting them to ask some dull–

"We're hooommmeee!!!" A cheery voice yells, slamming open the cabin door and stomping inside. Snow tracks on his heavy boots and Tim jumps at the sudden noise.

Toby is all giggles, his ski goggles splattered with deep red and a grin across his face. "D-did you miss muh-me?" He asks, bouncing up to you.

You watch in silence as Brian follows slowly behind him, ducking into the door frame with his mask pulled up to reveal stubble and lips set in a firm line.

As he knocks his boot into the door frame to shake off snow you stand, arms hanging limply at your sides. You side-step a jittery Toby and disappear down the hallway.

"W-what did yuh-you do to her?" You hear Toby's stuttery accusation and a grumble from Tim.

Then you throw open the door to someone's room and slink inside, wrapped in familiar darkness and left alone to refreshed memories.

'Welcome back.'