Lamb To The Slaughter ✔️

20

I thought how much I thought about her before was bad, now, it's even worse. I do not go one second without her face in my head, without her voice saying "I love you" in my ears. 

It's 4 am. I hear it, over, and over, and over again. I can't handle it anymore. 

In black joggers I make my way down to Maria's apartment. I don't care about the time. I pound my fist against the door, I don't stop or wait, I just keep knocking.

"What?" she asks angrily while opening her door, being taken out of her sleep.

"That injection you told me about. That numbs you emotionally, that makes you unable to feel," I say. "I want it. Now."

She looks shocked. I had turned it down several times, now here I was in the middle of the night begging for it.

"Okay," she says.

The private medical room, we're in it soon enough. I sit in the chair while she prepares the syringe, I still see Aria in my mind, she's haunting me until the last moment possible.

"I understand you are struggling with what you did to Aria Reyes," she says as she flicks the syringe. "But you did the right thing. I am proud of you, Atlantic."

Her words mean nothing to me. I don't even acknowledge them. I simply whisper, "Just make me unable to care."

She nods. I close my eyes as I feel it go into my vein. I think of her, her beautiful face, her big lips, that gold jewelry she wears. But as I feel it spreading inside me, slowly, I stop thinking of her. Of her smile that felt like it stopped the world, her eyes that could've brought me to my knees.

I open my eyes.

She isn't in my head. I don't think of her. 

"There, Atlantic," Maria says. "Now why don't you go get a good nights sleep for tomorrow."

I nod, but I do not feel. I can't even remember why I needed to do this. I think of nothing as I go back up to my room, and fall asleep quickly, with nothing on my mind. 

I sleep throughout the night. It's the first time in so long. 

Maria tells me I need to go and kill 5 people. I don't ask why, I don't care, I just do it. I slaughter them. I make their death more painful than it needs to be. I stand in my bathroom now, staring at my reflection. 

I wear all black. And with black hair and eyes, the only other colour on me is the red blood splattered against my face. I don't see the human behind the blood, just the blood, and I like it. I don't want to wash it off.

I grab the bottle on my counter. I spray two sprays against my neck. My eyebrows lower at the scent and I move the bottle before my eyes. 

It's a woman's scent. It's sweet. It was Aria's perfume. 

I set it down, not caring. 

As the phone call I was getting in the other room went unanswered, the voicemail started to play. 

"Atlantic, tomorrow you will be accompanying me at the hospital," Maria says on the speaker. "Mr. Grey will be there, to see just how far you've come."

I barely even listen to words. I just look at the blood on my skin. 

I want more of it. 

╰── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──╯

A R I A

I stare at the hospital, the one rebuilt from me burning it down, the one I'd love to destroy once again. But that's not what I'm here for. I'm here for him, I know he's here.