They finished lunch rather quickly, or probably more like dinner by that point, and Harry suddenly realized he had no idea what to do from here. Was he supposed to sleep here tonight? Or was he supposed to go back to his dorm, and sleep in the bedroom with the boys? Would that seem offensive to Snape if he asked? Or would it seem offensive to assume that Snape wants him to stay? Technically the man doesn't even have legal guardianship of him yet -- at least, not that he knows of...does he?
Harry really ought to ask.
"Harry? Stay with me please."
The boy looked up from where he'd been playing with his leftover food and flushed. Snape was staring at him, a concerned furrow between his eyebrows, his plate being levitated over the couch to the sink, where it was instantly scrubbed in the air. Harry's eyebrows rose in amazement.
Imagine if he'd been able to do that at the Dursley's. Uncle Vernon would probably burst one his numerous forehead veins.
Although, his Uncle would probably beat him within in an inch of his life had he tried any sort of magic in his presence. Not that he knew he was a wizard before about three months ago, anyway.
Aunt Petunia would certainly hit him with one of the frying pans, at least. Probably make him scrub his own blood off of the pan as well. She'd done that once or twice.
"Harry."
He jumped, his fork clattering against his plate with a clink!
Snape rose an eyebrow, unfolding one of his arms to tap a long potion-stained finger on Harry's plate. Harry flushed, again.
"I'm n-not that hungry, anymore. I-I mean - not that it wasn't good! It was, sir, honest! Pretty much what we eat in the Great Hall! It's just that, I'm f-full, I guess. Um - yeah."
His guardian smirked.
"All you needed to say, Harry." Then he sighed, looking away as he flicked his wand to send Harry's plate off to be washed. Before the boy could even protest that he could wash his dishes, Snape continued. "You'll have to forgive me for pressuring you to talk, child. I - that is to say, I just need to assure myself that I have not sent you into another panic attack. That was not particularly pleasing for me to witness, you see."
Harry blinked.
All he ever did was cause someone pain.
He was such a burden.
"I'm s-sorry, sir."
Snape turned back to him, a pained look on his face. "I do so wish you'd stop apologizing for things you cannot control, Harry. It is not your fault if you reacted badly to something I did. That blame would lie with me." He rose a hand to stop Harry's protests. "Ah - Harry. It is the truth that my decision to have lunch together in the kitchen is what caused you to react that way, is it not?"
He sat in silence until Harry's very reluctant nod.
"Then, you will just have to allow me to feel how I do about this. It was my fault that you were pushed to - retreat inside yourself. I do not blame you for the fact that I am now very hesitant to avoid witnessing your dissociation again. It is bad for you and is particularly uncomfortable for me, as well. Hence - you will have to provide me with verbal answers as often as you can. Yes?"
Harry thought for a moment about that, then nodded. He could see why Snape wanted him to answer him verbally. The man must have panicked something awful when Harry decided to act like an even bigger freak and completely retreat into his own bloody brain. He must have tried to speak to him, and Harry didn't respond.
YOU ARE READING
eccedentesiast || severitus
Fanfictionharry has never known love in his life. he's never known how special he truly is. his relatives certainly made sure he never knew. when he receives a letter to a school called hogwarts, everything changes. he tries so desperately to be a normal, hap...
