If love could win

Sara

Something was weird. Wille and Felice seemed off. I did not know why, but they were. When I kissed Wille it was like he had his thoughts elsewhere. Felice and he shared concerned looks through the classroom when they thought no one else saw. Even that morning, when Wille came to maths class, I sensed something was different. I had just thought that it was his nightmare or something bothering him and I had tried to distract him, but clearly there was something else too. We had a break between the last two periods for the day and I needed to know what was happening. I pulled Wille with me into the musicroom, which was empty this time of the day, if I was not in there by the piano. I shut the door and looked at Wille.

"What is wrong?" I asked him. I had a hand on his arm. He flinched and looked at me like he did not know what to say. "Wille, please tell me. Have I done anything wrong?" I could not see that I had done anything to upset him or make him uncomfortable during the day. Maybe he had taken the bantering with Rosh and Ayoub earlier that day the wrong way. Maybe he did not realise Rosh and Ayoub were only joking and teasing, because they were my irritating best friends and that was how they were. I still remembered how Ayoub teased me about Wille the first time they ever met, because he could tell that I liked him. He had seen me have crushes before, and apparently I was not very discreet with my feelings for Wille either.

"No, you have not done anything wrong," he said. He touched my chin gently. I saw tears build up in his eyes. "I don't know how to tell you, because I don't want you to be sad and I know you will be." He was crying now.

"Have you cheated on me with Felice? Is that what you can't tell me?" I asked. Felice had also been acting off that day. Given Wille weird looks. But Wille would not cheat on me and not with Felice, or would he?

"What?" Wille replied. He looked at me like I was a bit funny. "No, Simon darling, I have not cheated on you with Felice." He took my hand in his and held it close to his heart.

"Then why have you two looked at each other with concerned looks all day?" I asked him.

"Because of Sara," Wille said. It was barely hearable. What was wrong with my sister? Has something happened to her? "Felice was in my dorm when I got in there to brush my teeth this morning. And she had found a positive pregnancy test in their bin, and it was not hers, so it must have been Sara's." I looked at him with big eyes. Sara did not have a boyfriend, so how the hell would she be pregnant? It could not be true.

"But, but, Sara does not have a boyfriend. It can't be true" I said. "It can't be true." I cried. Tears were flooding my cheeks. We had said no secrets. I knew I had not honoured that in the past, as I had been in contact with our dad without her knowing. But I had at least been open about having a relationship. I had not hidden the fact that I was in love with Wille from her.

"Even worse is that Felice found a text conversation between Sara and August last night and there were intimate photos sent between them," Wille said. He was crying too. My body stopped functioning and I could feel myself fall. Wille caught me in his arms and held me close.

"No, that can't be," I said. I was in denial and somehow I knew that. Wille would not lie to me about this.

"I am so, so sorry darling," Wille said. I cried against his chest and held on to him like I would die if I did not. I felt like I could not breathe. Maybe I was dying. I heard my heartbeat loud in my ears. Could feel my heart wanting to get out of my body.

"I think I am dying," I said. Wille helped me sit down on the floor.

"Honey, you are not dying. I think you have a panic attack," he said. He held one of my hands to his chest. "Can you feel how I am breathing? I need you to breathe with me." I nodded. I could feel his chest move up and down, much slower than mine was. At the rate I was breathing, I must have been hyperventilating. I tried to concentrate on breathing at his rate instead, and somehow it worked.