Sasha Of Arc (The Arc Saga, Book 1) - Rewriting/Editing

Chapter 4: Choice

I groaned as my fists tightened. My eyebrows furrowed, glaring at Grandma Chioma.

"You don't want to go to college. Now, you don't want to go to church? Sasha, explain this change of behavior!" she demanded from me.

"I've changed. That's your answer."

"In a bad way," Grandma Chioma remarked, snapping at me. "I want you in church so you don't conform to this world. To stand out and be a child of God!"

"Grandma, let's not go deep into this. The answer is simple. I don't want to go to church," I told her. "I'm sorry that you are offended-"

"You've offended me and God," Grandma Chioma said, cutting me off. "Don't you want to soak in His presence and enjoy a community of your fellow Nigerians?"

I facepalmed when she asked those questions.

"Huh, Sasha?" Grandma Chioma pressed on. "Your father is the only white man in that church!"

"So? Let's not bring Dad into this because I know you're trying to say that 'church is for everyone,' but just for this once, I don't want to go tomorrow."

I hoped she would give in and listen. However, I should remind myself to who I'm talking to.

"Fine, go ahead and stray from God. Since you don't want to go to church, you will spend your time reading the story of Job and memorize ten verses from that book!" Grandma Chioma demanded.

"Are you kidding me?" I snapped at her. "Fine. Whatever. I'll do it."

I stormed out of the living room before Grandma Chioma said anything. As I walked upstairs, I stepped into the bathroom to brush my teeth and went straight to my room. I didn't bother checking up on Dad or Mia. I just wanted alone time.

Opening my diary was the first thing I did when I sat on my task chair.

AUGUST 16TH, 2011

TIME: 8 PM

"DEAR DIARY, will she ever listen? Not in a million years. But just for this once, I wished she would. I hoped, begged, and prayed on my knees, waiting for signs from God. I know I'm stupid for thinking God would, but something's not adding up. Whenever I sat in the pews, the Pastor would shake and chant God's name from his mouth. It's like he's seeing visions or something. Everybody else starts to close their eyes and raise their hands to be in the presence of God. If my little sister can get visions from God, what the heck am I doing wrong? What lesson is God trying to teach me? Oh yeah, nothing. I am just ranting at this point. I'm starting to think about going to college only to avoid Grandma. The moment she complains is when I've had enough. It doesn't help that she's here all day, every day. Ever since the accident, Grandma never returned to Nigeria.

So far as my Grandma goes, she acts like Mom's dead. I mean, she isn't wrong for feeling that way. Two years without Mom feels like I'm mourning her. Most days, it feels like we're grieving her death and that a part of us is missing. I understand Grandma wants me to go to college and live a "normal" life. But what I consider "normal" is being at peace at home doing whatever, playing dolls with Mia, and gaming. I deal with Pablo's shit and come home with a cheeseburger, steak, and those delicious cheese fries. That's why I haven't quit my job. I got comfortable, so I don't feel like quitting yet. What else am I going to do from there? I'm not sure. So, I am good with enjoying life outside the spotlight and eating good Texas Roadhouse food."

I placed my pen down and buried my face in my arms. A knock came on the door, but I ignored it. When Dad called my name, I told him I wanted to be alone. I didn't want him to bother me. Dad understood and didn't make a fuss. I heard his footsteps echo after he walked away from my room.