Breaking The Mold

1

"I'm done with this shit Zac. When you're ready to actually put effort into our relationship I'll be here." I tell him leaving my mom's house and getting into my car.

I pull out my phone to text Zoey. 'I'm done. We broke up again' I tell her.

I put my phone on my phone mount and start backing out of the driveway. Tears streaming down my face as I take the 20 minute drive back home. A drive I take almost everyday to go see him just to leave crying because he broke up with me. Again and again.

I get home and sit in my car for a minute wiping my tears and checking my mascara in the mirror. I grab my phone from the mount and check my texts. One from Zoey, one from Zac. I open Zac's to see what he could possibly have to say after breaking up with me for the 3rd time this week. 'I am ready to put in effort you just need to stop being a junkie' he says. I respond defensively and confused because the worst I do on a daily basis is smoke weed.

I check Zoey's text. 'WHAT' she said.

'yea he said I'm a junkie' I wait for a reply, which comes quickly since we are both online.

'Is it bc you did that shit with Will maybe?'

'He doesn't even know about that. He said that bc I smoke pot'

'That's so stupid. Weed is literally a medicine'

'Yeah exactly'

'Sky do me a favor this time and don't get back with him'

'I'm not. I'm actually so done this time'

'Good'

I get a notification that Zac texted me. I click on it and it opens up the message app. He's still arguing. After half an hour of arguing back and forth, we get back together. It's late by this time and I'm exhausted from arguing and crying so I go to sleep.

After work the next day I go and see Zac again. And once again he's got to start an argument. I leave angry and when I get home hoping to take a break from all the hell that's been going on. After about an hour Zac has calmed down and we are no longer arguing.

I plan on getting shrooms from one of my friends older sister and want to take them with someone so I text Zac.

'I got a question but if you don't wanna do it bc the casino that okay. I'm getting shrooms from Landon's sister, would you wanna take them with me.' I ask him.

'No I'm sober now I don't need drugs to have a good time' he responds hostilely.

'Okay weird way to say that but I get it. also can u pls stop being mean ab me smoking, if u dont like that i do it in front of you then say that and ill stop, but im not going to stop smoking weed and you saying negative things about me doing it is really rude and hurtful'

'Then we're breaking up'

'If I don't stop smoking ur going to break up with me?'

'It's more of a life lesson u need to learn bc I care ab u weed just slows u down and fucks up ur life. U ruin relationships with ppl u love and I think nobody else is gone teach u the lesson'

'Remember how I had that whole medication talk with you. I understand if that's your view on it but it's not a drug like cocaine or heroin or meth or pills'

'I'm done. I'm not arguing with u goodbye. Find someone else who will put up with it and handle you'

'R u serious. Fuck you. I'm done. I can't do this anymore. I hope ur happy with this bc I mean it I deserve better than this. I can't do this. U can't control me. U won't ever listen to me. U don't care about me. You haven't for a while I've noticed things have been way off.  If you really want to commit to this ur going to leave my house. Good luck getting ur life together living under someone's bed or something. Not my problem anymore. u never cared, u never loved me, and u never will. all this over me smoking weed. u never had a problem with it before but now that u cant do it i shouldnt be able to, thats fucked up. ur gna buy me a cart then tell me youll leave me if i smoke it. actually insane behavior and i cant put up with it. im saying this for the last time straighten tf up, put in some effort and act like you want a relationship with me or everything is over seriously. What's it going to be Zac? Do u want a future with me or not? Because I'm not going to sit here and put myself and my family through all this if it's for nothing'

'Ur the one getting ur family involved in our relationship which is another no go for me so'

'What's it going to be. If you wanna go back to the life u were living before go for it. I wanted something with you. I don't think you feel the same. This is it Zac, no second chances, no going back on it. I'm tired of that. I can't get broken up with every 2 days and continue to trust you. Do you want to be with me? It isn't a hard question to answer. There's small things I do that you don't like, there's small things you do that I don't like. But we never communicate about it and move forward, we just stay in the same spot with the same problems arguing over the same thing. There is no growth and there needs to be growth for this to work out'

No response. Dead silence for hours. I FaceTime my friends after sending them screenshots of the messages. Zoey is basically begging and pleading for me to block Zac on everything. But I can't. I love him. Landon continuously tells me that I fucked up when I said this and this and this. But I don't care because at the end of the day I love Zac.