Chapter 15 - The Son My Father Never Had

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The son my father never had
lived with me
secretly;
before I sleep
I thought of him

- The Son, Mary Oliver 


Gansey

Gansey hadn't spoken to his sister in a few weeks, but neither of them acknowledged it. Although they weren't particularly close, the two Gansey siblings were still fond of each other. Helen had always said that Gansey was her favourite member of their family and Gansey, in turn, had always looked up to his sister the way he now did Glendower.

Still, he despised how often his parents compared them with each other, but he thought maybe he wouldn't have minded it so much if he ever came out looking better for it.

Helen Gansey was good at everything she did, something that often grained on Gansey when he laid awake at night. His current jealousy stemmed from her ability to fly a helicopter. Although Gansey had tried many times, he had never gotten a licence, something his father would joke about from time to time so he never could quite forget it.

Gansey knew all the theoretical parts of how to drive a helicopter, probably too well, but the moment the propeller started spinning and the air filled with that wretched blowing sound, he lost all his ability to move and it would all leave his head.

"Please, Helen," he now said into his phone. He was sitting on the windowsill in his and Adam's room, but the other boy had left earlier to talk to his 'friend' Blue, so he didn't have to keep his volume down. Which was always a good thing whenever he spoke to any member of his immediate family.

"I can't just take time of work without a warning to fly you around the mountains, Dick," Helen said.

Gansey winced. He knew most people named Richard had to deal with being called after their genetalia, but Helen always made it seem more like a slur than a nickname when she said it. With her strong new money accent and monotone voice most of the things she said made it sound as if she was angry.

"It's for the greater good."

"I hate to imagine what the greater good according to a bunch of eighteen year old's is. Which is all I can do when you refuse to tell me what this is about."

Gansey sighed. "Alright, I'll tell you, but you have to promise not to tell mother and father."

Helen was quiet for a long moment. "You're not up to something stupid are you, Dick?"

"Possibly," Gansey said. "But you have to promise." He felt very much like a petulant child at that moment, begging his older sister to keep his secrets like he had so many times when they were younger. But this far Helen had never let him down without reason.

It was now Helen's time to sigh. "I promise."

Gansey leaned his cheek against the cold glass of the window and told his sister about the Dead Ravens Society. Except for the part about Glendower being possibly alive, which would be a sure way to get his sister to break her promise because of sheer worry. 

He knew Mr Czerny hadn't meant it literally when he told them to look at things from a different perspective, but he figured it couldn't hurt. After all, maybe the reason Mr Czerny and Mr Whelk hadn't found Glendower was because they had seen Henrietta too close up. Adding a few hundred meters might very much be just what they'd needed.

When he was done, Helen remained quiet for a few beats, before tentatively asking, "So, what you're saying is that you started your own cult?"

"Not exactly. It was started before I was born."

"You're just picking up the mantel from...your history teacher?"

"Pretty much."

"Well, good luck with that." Helen laughed, but then let out a long breath. "Listen, I already promised I wouldn't tell mom and dad. I know they never understood your interest in those Athurian legends, and how much it broke you when they took them away from you. I couldn't do anything back then, and for that I am sorry. But as long as you keep up with your studies, and most importantly, don't get hurt, I don't see what harm picking up some old hobbies would do you. As long as you're happy, I am too."

Gansey 'hmmed' in response.

He wasn't used to Helen being so sincere with him, but he remembered all those times she'd take him to the library when she got her driver's licence and how she would leave him at the mythology and history sections each time. It had stopped the moment his parents found out about it, but she had tried.

Being a girl in a family like the Gansey's, even one as smart and talented as Helen, was difficult when you wanted to be heard. Even if Gansey wasn't the favourite child, at least he never had to hear he was being hysterical if he showed his emotions. After they took away his knights from him, Helen had been the only person to suggest it was a stupid decision and had went on to refuse to speak with their parents for a month because of it.

"If they won't listen to what I have to say, why speak at all?" She had said to Gansey when he questioned her about it.

In the end it hadn't been enough to change his parents minds and she'd had to start speaking again when it didn't work, but for Gansey it had been enough. At least he knew that he could always count on his sister to be on his side.

Feeling his throat close up, he coughed. "So, about that helicopter?"

"I'll see if Jordan can take over my shift for tomorrow," Helen said and Gansey almost thought she had ended the call until she spoke up again. "And, Dick?"

"Yes?"

"I hope you find whatever you're looking for with this society of yours."

Gansey smiled, thinking of Ronan waiting for him at the library and Adam who should be back any minute. He even thought of the yet faceless Blue, who hopefully would be joining them the next day.

"I do too."

Authors note: Thank you for reading! (I swear I didn't forget about this fic, I was just too lazy to work on it).

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