A Little More Than Normal

Chapter 3

I have to tell them. I'm just so afraid.

God, it'll be fine. Just tell them.

Are you insane? It's a secret for a reason.

They love us.

They love the version of Lara she lets them see. They don't love us.

I'm not sure who is speaking, but they're probably right. We haven't told anyone for a reason.

You promised, Lara.

Daisy.

I want to crawl in a hole and never come out. But I can't. I'm the host, and my system needs me, even though I wish they didn't.

Differing opinions make it hard to decide what to do. So I do what I tend to do in these situations. I procrastinate.

I'll tell them eventually. Or not. Who knows.

I should tell them. I simply don't want to.

"It's our senior year," Kali squeaks. "We need to be adventurous!"

"I don't like the sound of that," Sal says.

I agree. Adventurous isn't a fun word. Adventure means danger in Kali's vocabulary, at least comfort zone wise. I don't want to do whatever she's planning.

"Maxy," Kali sings, "What do you think?"

Max sighs. "I think..." he pauses, tapping his chin. "...that I don't care."

"That means you're in!"

He shrugs. "Sure."

"What about you, Lara?" Max asks.

I shake my head. "Nope. Won't do any of it. I don't care what you're planning, I want no part in your shenanigans."

"Shenanigans?" Kali gasps. "Lara, girl, I'm deeply offended."

Girl? Why does she talk like that?

I can't tell who said that, all I know is I want them to shut up.

That's the way she talks. Don't judge my best friend, thank you very much. I shoot back.

That's the thing with DID. They keep talking. All the time. Every day, they get louder. Most days I can't take it. I don't think I can take it any day, actually. Screaming, but most times I can't tell what they're screaming about. It's just so fucking loud.

I smile at Kali, pushing my thoughts away. "Sorry, Kal. What exactly are you planning?"

"It's our senior year, we need to enjoy it. I want to discover myself before college and I want my friends with me. I say we each do at least something out of our comfort zone, see if we like it."

I don't know. I don't like to leave my comfort zone. It's there for a reason.

"Yes," a voice a bit deeper than mine says. I bite my lip when I realize it came from my mouth.

Gail. What. Are. You. Doing.

We need this. I'm making us do it.

"Lara? Are you okay?" Kali giggles while asking.

Fine.

"Yes, yup. Fine. Sorry," I clear my throat dramatically. "Must be coming down with something."