Puppy Love • Seungchan

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Seungmin sighs. In truth Jisung was probably the least likely person on the planet to go blabbing about his secrets. The younger was too shy to stir up trouble. So after a moment he takes a deep breath and looks up. "Can you promise not to judge me? And also not say anything to anyone? Not even your boyfriend."

"Yeah sure," Jisung says, extending his pinky. "I promise"

Seungmin links his pinky with Jisung's and stamps his thumb.

"Before I tell you who it is, lemme give you some context"

"Okaay" Jisung smiles.

"So this guy, I've known and liked him since before Jeongin. In truth, I actually became friends with Jeongin to get closer to said guy. But then I got close with Jeongin and ended up dating him instead until we eventually broke up, and by then there was no hope because this guy left the school, so I kinda- packed away my feels? But then after the party last weekend I ran into him and it was just so good seeing him and he's still just as hot, but I can't just date him..."

"Ok one, don't take this the wrong way, but no wonder you and Jeongin never worked out. Your foundation wasn't entirely on solid ground- and two, why can't you date this guy?" Jisung prompts. "Is he a friend of Jeong? An ex perhaps? Wait, but you were his first boyfriend...Does he not like guys? What's the ish"

"He definitely likes guys," Seungmin laughs. "It's just because..because...the guy I like is Jeongin's older brother...Chan"

Jisung sits there. Stunned. His little eyes wide as they trail mindlessly into thin air, clearly taking everything in.

"Wait so when you said that the guy you liked left the school, you meant he actually LEFT the school right? Cause I thought you meant to another school...but isn't Chan like three or four years older than us?"

"Four years," Seungmin answers. "-and yeah, Chan left school to go to college so by the time Jeongin and I broke up, Chan and I weren't even a possibility. Not that I could ever betray Jeongin like that..."

Jisung visibly marvels at everything Seungmin just said.

"So just to confirm, and correct me if I'm wrong. You liked Chan, befriended Jeongin to get to Chan, fell for Jeongin instead and dated him. Eventually broke up with Jeongin and subsequently your feels for Chan were gone by then...but then you ran into Chan after Hyunjin's 18th and I'm guessing now you feel weird having kissed Jeongin but also knowing you still have feels for Chan?"

Seungmin nods. He always found it funny how Jisung had to summarise things in order to understand them better.

"Does Jeongin know you like his brother?"

"No," Seungmin answers quietly.

"Are you gonna tell him?"

"I don't know... probably not. Not unless anything were to actually happen between Chan and I"

"Do you want something to happen? Cause if I've learnt anything you have to be clear with these sort of things"

"Mmm" Seungmin hums. "As much as I want something to happen, I don't think it will. I don't think it possibly could..."

Jisung bobs his head. "Where exactly did you run into Chan?"

"After I'd dropped Jeongin off. I was leaving Jeongin's room when I had a run in with him. He thought I was a burglar and tried to rip my fucking arm off"

"LANGUAGE!" Seungmin and Jisung's teacher calls from the front of the room. "I don't mind you chit chatting while you work but please no swearing"

"Sorry Miss Park!" Seungmin yells back as he shrinks in his seat. Miss Park could be the most chillest teacher but sometimes her ears were as sharp as a hares when it came to swear words.

Seungmin and Jisung lower their voices. Their candid conversation really wasn't one they should be having during 2nd period maths, especially not with nosy classmates around.

"So then what happened? Did he apologise?" Jisung asks.

"He did. He also kind of pulled me into his room...and we started talking"

Jisung quirks his brows. "H-his room?!"

"Yep. Chan could somehow see that I wasn't 100%. So he was just checking in, and next thing you know we're talking about Jeongin, Hyunjin and I...and then I went to leave but I kind of didn't make it out his door-"

Jisung holds up his hands in a stopping motion. "Wait, wait, wait, are you telling me you stayed...the night...in his room?"

Seungmin nods.

"Oh my God! You didn't...yenno?" Jisung blushes.

Now Seungmin is the one putting out his hands, he could see Jisung's mind was spiralling. "We didn't do anything!! I just slept next to him and then I woke up in the morning and left out his window"

Seungmin keeps the details to a minimum, excluding the fact that he'd slept in Chan's hoodie, had snuggled with him while he slept and then had play-fought with him in the morning before being caught; those details were very much theirs and theirs alone.

Jisung leans back in his chair. "Damn Seung, your life is eventful," Jisung comments. "I could never sleep with someone I like"

Seungmin snorts. "You say that so calmly Jisung like you don't have a boyfriend now. I know this is your first genuine relationship, and also your first since Wooyoung, but like, I'm sure if given the opportunity you'd sleep beside Minho too, right? -and you two actually can! Since you're dating him, there's nothing weird about that"

"I- but we- we don't know each that well   yet. We haven't even been on any dates or done anything together outside of school. I can't just sleep in his bed! The thought of kissing him shoots butterflies up my ass! I couldn't possibly sleep with him!!!"

"Calm your farm Jisung. You don't have to explain it to me. I'm sure when the time is right, sleeping beside Minho will be a piece of cake, it's not like you're doing anything...yet" Seungmin laughs. "Anygays, do you sort of understand now why I'm having a hard time with my own feelings?"

Jisung takes his hand off his heart, and takes a deep breath. Seungmin found it kind of cute how flustered he could make Jisung just by talking about Minho. He'd heard of butterflies in the stomach but never up one's ass before. Seungmin wondered if Miss Park heard that one, if she did she was clearly too stunned to speak.

After a pause Jisung bobs his head. "Yeah I can see now." Jisung then goes silent again for another beat. "I know I sort of asked before, but do you think anything could happen between you and Chan? Do you want anything to happen?"

"A part of me wants something to happen. But I don't think it will. Chan was just being nice and I think I've just let my feelings get out of hand. Not to mention I'm just a highschooler and he's almost finished college. I'm probably just a kid in his eyes"

"But hypothetically, say if there was a chance to be with Chan, would you act on it?"

Seungmin thinks to himself. "If there was a chance...I- I think I'd want to make sure Jeongin's ok with it first, cause if he's not cool with us then I don't think Chan and I could ever be together. But only hypothetically!"

"Well then, I think you have two options here-" Jisung holds up his pointer finger, "One, get over your feelings and move on to someone else," Jisung holds up two fingers, "Or two, as someone wise once told me, ask the boy you like out, even if it's just to hang out. Then you could suss him out, and if you think something's there you can talk with Jeongin, or hey, maybe Chan will? But you'll never know if you don't do anything"

Seungmin sighs. Jisung's words were all too true. But how could he even ask Chan to "hang out?" It's not like they were the same age, or friends for that matter, they were just acquaintances with a close mutual contact. Seungmin did like the idea of seeing Chan again though; maybe he could make more sense of his own feelings that way?

2nd period maths drags on; both boys getting absolutely no work done as Seungmin contemplates his own menial existence in relation to Chan, and Jisung talks about how he liked Minho a lot, but was overwhelmed about what actually dating him meant for the stability of his body. Nevertheless, Seungmin was happy that at least one relationship had gone right and not spiralled into trash like everyone else's seemed to have, his own very much included.

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