Inevitable

Chapter Four

You know she is straight, right?

The sentence rung in their head, echoing throughout their mind as a never-ending mantra. No amount of keyboard typing on their laptop managed to make them focus on writing, so they chose to instead abandon that duty for the evening. Dinner would be ready soon, they should spend that time focusing on their family instead of the whole situation, plus, Mabel would call them later.

As Lilith stepped our from the security of their bedroom, they couldn't help but feel exposed. Not literally, they were wearing pajamas since they are the type to immediately change into them upon returning home. No, this was a different kind of exposure.

While their feelings weren't on clear display, Lilith was still worried that their mother would notice and that was the last thing they wanted. Their mother deserved proper relaxation and not to worry so much about handling all issues that arose, Lilith could fix most of them on their own.

They considered calling Riley and cussing her out for daring to bring up certain feelings that they knew they didn't feel. They even thought about letting Avery know about the nonsensical accusations, but they refrained from doing either of those actions. Keeping the situation a bottled-up secret felt safer. Much safer than risking Mabel finding out and it turning into a whole thing.

Even if Lilith thought that it was something the two could laugh about, they still weren't fully convinced. Mabel was a supporting friend, especially when it came to their sexuality and gender identity. They were nothing but supportive and caring, and an amazing listener. A true rock of solid support, one that they could lean on whenever necessary.

But Lilith still had a sneaking suspicion that Mabel would freak, especially with how much she tried to keep her reputation intact. There wasn't a single universe where Mabel Brown would handle the revelation, even if totally false, that Lilith had a crush on her, let alone identify as sapphic, 

"Hey, Kiddo." A tired voice greeted when Lilith entered the kitchen, where their mother stood, watching the oven with great focus. Lilith had tried to get her to loosen up a bit, assured her that they could handle the dinner, just this once but their mother persisted.

Regardless, they still felt a pinch of guilt watching their mother who was barely awake, keep track of a casserole.

"You sure you don't need my help, Mom?" Lilith asked to which their kindhearted mother shook her head, pretending as though aid wasn't needed. Which it technically wasn't, Rebecca Grimm was capable of doing everything on her own but that didn't persuade Lilith into letting it go.

"I'm sure. How was school? How is Mabel?" Mom wondered, finally letting her gaze wander from the oven, and instead made eye contact with her child. Lilith was pleased, even if they knew the attention would be brief.

"School's good, Mabel is too." They simplified, not wishing to go into greater detail. Their mother would simply get too involved in the entire situation and escalate it further. The woman looked at them worryingly, and Lilith tried to avoid her eyes. Partially because they felt scrutinized, and because the sight of eye bags on their mother physically pained them. Her greying black hair was all Lilith could see in their peripheral vision as they too, focused on the oven.

It was a perfect method of distraction, even if extremely underrated.

Their mother wasn't pushy, and she was rarely present long enough to notice any huge behavioral difference. Lilith supposed those were the reasons for remaining silent in response despite her gut informing her that something was wrong. Instead, she stoically returned her attention to the oven but not before leaning over to kiss their forehead.