Standing

Chapter 21: Stand

"I knew you'd try to stop me. I am your...." I flush and look away as he speaks.

"Mate, lass. Ye can say it. I'm yer mate and if I halfta watch ye die then ye can bloody well say it." He growled at me, jerking on the cuffs that I knew wouldn't break. I'd made them after all. I met his emerald green eyes and saw the tears that he refused to shed and I feel the anguish in his heart because it's in mine as well.

"Mate, Liam, I'm your mate and I'm sorry that I wasn't brave enough to accept you before. But if I can't remember over half of my life I really doubt I'm good enough to be your mate." I felt my control starting to shift and I look back at the clock knowing it was time. Two minutes. I look back to Luke and throw my head back as I speak.

"I wish I could have been enough Liam. DO IT LUKE!" I hear him raise the machete and I could feel it moving through the air as he spoke.

"You were enough for us, Ash." I tensed for the bite of steel in my neck but instead got bright white light as I am lifted through the air and slammed into someone. I blink and open my eyes to see that I am in Liam's arms and he's kneeling down on nothing. I blink and look around but all I see is nothing. I look up at Liam as he stands with me in his arms, clutching me tightly. He looks down at me and a tear slides down his cheek as he brushes my hair from my face.

"We'll talk about what ye said later lass but first..." He looks up and I see that while there is only light around us there is someone standing in front of me, the Leopard Goddess. I blanch and whisper for Liam to set me down. I attempt to smooth down my shirt as she smiles at me with bright golden eyes.

"I see you got my gift." I shrug.

"I did Goddess and thank you but why are we here?" She smiles wider as two green lazy-boy recliners appear and she gestures for us to sit. She sits in one while Liam sits in the other and pulls me into his lap. I bite back a squeal of surprise but don't say anything as I grip Liam's hand.

"You're here so I may get my payment of course. I had to time it just right to see if you would sacrifice yourself. You did and now I can take my payment and keep you from dying as well. When you wake up you'll be in your room with Liam. But to set you on the path you will soon have to take I needed to see if you had the mettle to deal with what you have to face. I think you do." I shake my head and clutch at Liam's shirt with my free hand.

"But I'm not brave....or enough.....for anything." The Goddess smiles and curls her feet underneath her.

"We'll see in due time dear but first..." She holds her hand out palm up. "...payment." I lean forward, letting go of Liam's shirt and place my hand in hers. At first I can't see anything but then I see myself on a bed as I hold back screams of terror. As I look back at my past self I realize that I don't remember this at all. Then I notice the bloody sheets and the mound on my belly. I gasp in shock. I was pregnant but when?

"You were sixteen when you had him." The goddess appeared beside me as I watch myself push out a baby...alone.

"And you were sixteen when you became a Bezerker." I watched as the goddess heard my younger me's plea for help and appeared. "You agreed to lose your memories, becoming a Bezerker, and one other thing but you aren't ready to know that yet." Tears slid down my cheeks.

"Why did I do this? What happened to my son?" She turns to me and I see the pride in her eyes but have no idea why.

"To save him of course. From your father and from his father. And your son is...safe....that was part of the bargain." I start to speak but she interrupts me before I can begin. "I can't tell you who the father is, not yet. Your memories will start to come back as you wake up and more so when you and Liam go on your quest to find your son." I gape at her and I'm back in the lazy-boy with Liam's arms wrapped around me. I start to speak again but she cuts me off. "No more questions. You two need to sleep. After Riki takes her test for Leopard Queen you will begin your quest to find your son. Start with helping Cara and you will find your way from there. Oh, and take Phelan with you he will help you on your quest." Then she disappears and all I see is black.