[BoyxBoy] ✓ I Fell In Love With An Emo Boy

58. FORGIVENESS

"It was harder when I thought you were dead." I sat by Timothy's bed again and took his hand. "Tell me what happened."

Timothy frowned in thought. "I was walking to the bus stop and then I heard laughing and talking. I turned around and there they were. Dave, Taylor and Nick."

I frowned angrily.

"I tried to ignore them but they kept following me so I turned around and asked them to leave me alone.."

Timothy glanced at me. "Won't knowing upset you?"

"I need to hear it."

T sighed. "Then they continued to call me names. They dragged me toward the basketball field. And started punching. All three of them at once. Mostly in my back and my stomach.. And then Dave pushed me down. All I saw was snow.. And that's the last thing I remember."

I let go of Timothy's hand and got on my feet. "Alright, that's exactly what you're gonna tell the cops. And they're gonna go to jail." My hands shook with rage.

"What? Really?"

"They already got expelled but Dave thinks he can get out of this with a couple of fucking lawyers," I laughed "Well not on my watch."

Timothy frowned.

"What?" I asked.

"This is probably going on their school record. They're gonna have a hard time finding a new school and let alone get into college." T said.

"And?!"

"Well, don't you think that's enough punishment?"

I put my hands in my hair. "Are you crazy?! You're in the hospital! With broken ribs and a concussion and you think their fucking school time being over is enough punishment? They deserve to die!"

"Josh,"

"Don't you 'Josh' me! You're actually insane! Do you think they even have remorse? They don't! They hate you and they wouldn't have cared if you'd bled out in the snow!"

"I don't believe that."

"How the fuck are you so calm right now!"

Timothy sighed. "There's a long list of people who hate me for no reason. I can't worry about all of them. What other people do is not in my control."

"Where the fuck did you get that shit?"

"Cognitive behavioral therapy." T said dryly.

"This is no time for jokes." I shook my head.

"Look, those guys basically don't have a future. There's no reason to make things worse for them. And you still care about Dave, don't you?"

"No! Don't even say that! He was my friend, but I lost him. Everything he once was is gone now! He's dead to me! You know, I visited him today. I wanted to see how sorry he was, I told him you could've died, wanna know what he said?" I stepped forward. "He said people die everyday like it was NOTHING!"

T looked surprised for a moment. Then he looked a little sad. He finally seemed to realize how ruthless they were. They had no remorse.

"Well, that's rude." He muttered.

"Stop!" I screamed. "It's not funny you fucking asshole, I almost lost you because of them!"

Timothy looked exhausted now. He sighed. "Josh, I'm so tired. What does it matter what they think or what they did? I just want to move on and forget this ever happened."

"You can't do that! There's no way to forget and you're not just gonna let them off the hook like that! I get that it's a lot but you have to take a stand!"

Timothy looked at his hands. He shook his head.

"Look, you have two options here. Either you report them to the police or I kill them." I said. I knew I could do it. I knew that once I started I wouldn't be able to stop. I imagined Dave nothing more than a puddle of blood.

"So would you rather have a boyfriend in jail or those three fuckers? Your pick."

Timothy finally seemed to realize how important this was, if not to him then to me. I couldn't rest until justice was served. And secretly I hoped they'd go to jail not just because they deserved it but because if I ever saw one of them out and about.. I wouldn't be able to hold back. And then I'd really turn into someone not deserving of Timothy's love.

"Alright, I'll do it." T said softly.

"You better." I sat back down. I grabbed Timothy's hand.

He looked at me. He looked worried.

"How could you even think about them in this scenario? I don't get it. Who cares about their future?"

Timothy looked away for a moment. "Honestly?"

He met my eyes again. "You might not like the answer."

"Say it."

Timothy squeezed my hand. "I know you wouldn't go that far.. but if things had been different it could've been you in their shoes."

I frowned.

"You get angry easily. You didn't like me before. They're your friends. But look at you now. You're nothing like them just because you got to know me and realized I wasn't who you thought I was. But if that hadn't happened.."

Then I could've done that to him. Fuck.

Sure, I had a temper. I wasn't calm like him. I couldn't always control myself but would I really..

God, he was right. If things had gone different a year ago.. If I hadn't done that assignment with him, had gotten to know him, had changed my mind about him.. I could've been the one getting jail time. With them riling me up, alcohol and whatever aggression I had.. Things could've been different. He was right.

"See? I didn't want you to feel bad. I shouldn't have said anything."

"It's good that you did. It just reminds me who I don't wanna become." I squeezed Timothy's hand.

"But I'm different in one way." I looked at Timothy.

"I would've regretted it for the rest of my life. I would've wanted the highest punishment. And begged for your forgiveness."

Timothy smiled softly. He ran his hands through my hair. "I know."

I missed that look. That soft, tender look in his eyes.

My eyes teared up and I wrapped my arms around him.

"Ow! Josh-"

"Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" I loosened my grip on him.

I sighed of relief smelling him again. Holding him so close to me, where he belonged. A tear of relief rolled down my cheek.

"You don't know how much I missed you." I whispered.

T traced the back of my neck with his finger. "The weird thing is.. I think I missed you too. I knew something was wrong, just not what."

I kissed Timothy's lips and nuzzled his neck. He stroked my cheek.

"You still want me?" I mumbled.

"Of course I do." T answered just as softly. His words were like a sigh or a wind chime.

I sighed of relief. I still didn't get it. How someone like me could get someone like him. Now I just felt grateful.

"Timothy?"

He didn't reply.

When I looked up he was asleep.