Shameless - lestappen

34- Power Over Me

***

Tonight is my last night with the red team of the Formula One grid. And I spend it with the exact reason I won't sleep here anymore: Max Verstappen.

And that night, Max trusts me completely, when after an umpteenth kiss exchanged he steps back slightly and looks me straight in the eye, looking extremely serious.

"Charles, I want to do it with you tonight."

I immediately understand the intricacy of his sentence and yet I do not immediately grasp it, convinced that I have misinterpreted it or that my desire for him is playing tricks on me.

"What did you say?"

He smiles, one of his smiles that he rarely gives, but he smiles with his whole face folding the corner of his eyes and shining to the bottom of his retina.
"I want to have sex with you, and don't ask me if I'm sure because yes I am.

I'm taken aback by Max's complete confidence, and I realize I'm the one who's scared. I'm afraid I'll hurt him, that it'll be too soon, that it'll be a disaster, that he'll think about his ex, that I'll make him think about him.

"You... here?

Max still smiles at me but seems to notice my more reserved attitude.

- Yes here... don't you want to?
I hasten to answer to reassure him.

- So much, but I don't want you to feel compelled to do this for me and...

He puts his two hands flat on my chest to silence me and that is terribly effective. His lips quickly meet mine and my hands glide along his ribs and continue, stopping on his hips.

Our mouths part and Max approaches his lips to my ear. His voice resonates timidly, with vulnerability.

"Be the first to love me, I want you to show me what it's like to make love."

His words were the triggers I needed to regain my confidence and be sure to take this step with him.

I use my hands positioned on his hips to gently rotate him until his back collides with the mattress. His gaze does not let go of mine as I carefully stand above him, remembering that he had not endured it the last time. But time has passed since, and most of all, we've learned to trust each other, so when I read Max's face, all I read is desire.

I bend over to tie our lips again, the kiss is urgent and chaotic, I feel my partner's body shaking beneath mine and a smile appears on my lips as I straighten up to be able to take off my shirt and his.

His hair is a total mess, his lips swollen and red from the kisses we exchanged all evening and his eyes brighter than ever.

I take my time for each step, making sure I don't notice any changes in his face, making sure he's not lost in memories and that he's stuck in the present moment between us.

I am almost surprised when he spreads his thighs, anticipating, I kiss his neck before descending along his body to take an interest in his wholeness. I prepare him with my fingers and lube gently but he is very compliant and relaxed, it takes less time than I thought.

Max isn't very loud, and he barely moans. I suspect it must be difficult for him to express his pleasure, his desire. However, his face shows only pleasure and I feel my heart fill with happiness at the thought.

Once he's ready, I put on a condom and bring my face closer to his.

"How do you want us to do this? Is there a position you'd be more comfortable with?"