Goodbye Astarion [Astarion X NB Tav]

Part 3

Tav stares at her for a second longer. "Good enough, I guess." They shift awkwardly and look at their hands. The silence stretches out and cold panic starts to creep up their arms. "We had an argument, more like a fight, before we left the palace to come here. It's why we were late." Tav takes a deep breath. "I brought up a sore subject, I should have known it would make him angry, but-" tav gestures uselessly with one hand. "I did it anyway. It's just... being his- his spawn." Tav shakes their head and smooths their hair down.

"He still hasn't made me a true vampire. ...I think he might never do it, but when I bring up freedom he gets irritated at best and hostile at worst." Tav looks at Shadowheart, willing her to understand. "It's not all the time, of course, usually he's the very picture of a gentleman, but there are times he's... compelled me to-" Tav grits their teeth and looks down again. "to do things, I didn't want to." Tav starts speaking faster. "I'm sure Astarion didn't intend to, he's even apologized for some of them, but it's still uncomfortable and I just want to be able to be on the same level as him so that doesn't happen anymore. I love him. I love him so much it hurts, but he thinks me asking for autonomy is... I don't know, a threat to leave him? Ungratefulness maybe?" Tav slumps forward and rests their forehead on the knees in a sitting fetal position.

Shadowheart's face is impassive and she keeps watching the horizon. Whatever she's thinking she doesn't show it. "So, you fought about him still not making you a full vampire?" Her voice is soft, relaxed even.

Tav nods and shrugs but doesn't lift their face. "There was other stuff, but yeah that was the heart of it." Tav chews their lip. "He was so angry..." the anxiety is a physical pain in Tav's back, a burning in the diaphragm. No, I can't say what happened next. A lie by omission is hardly a lie. "Well, like I said, we fought. There was a lot of shouting. He said 'You are mine!'." Tav mimics his tone, scowling deeply. They can feel their arms shaking. "I called him a 'soulless bastard'. He said something about giving me every good thing even if I don't appreciate it. But I do! Of course I do." Tav's tone is supplicating now, like they can rewrite the events they are describing if they can just make a good enough plea.

Shadowheart nods "I believe you, what happened then?" Tav rolls their head to the side to look at her. She hasn't moved and she seems calm, though a slight crease has appeared between her eyebrows.

"It's hard to say." Tav mutters miserably. "Everything happened so quickly. He threw a decorative clock. I tried to leave but he kept me there, he wasn't done talking yet." Tav sighs. "It seemed like forever... When it was over, I was a mess. I'd been crying, my clothes were disheveled, I'd even torn my sleeve at some point. I had to go get re-dressed and try to look presentable."

Shadowheart waits until she's sure Tav is done. "I don't understand. Why did you think I'd be mad at you? It sounds like he was being a prick."

Tav looks at her like she's grown a second head. "Because I started it? He's moping about, and so have I really, because I picked a fight right before a party. The party I've been looking forward to for weeks. He wanted us to have matching suits but I ripped my jacket sleeve. I even argued with Jaheira! Just everything has gone wrong and it's my fault."

Shadowheart hums noncommittally. "Perhaps. Though, that doesn't sound like grounds for that big of a fight, and you said that when you tried to leave he kept you there. So," she shrugs "maybe he wanted a fight, otherwise he would have let you leave so you could both calm down." She turns to Tav. "Whatever the case, I'm not mad at you. The party isn't ruined by you being sad or him being an ass." She grins a bit. "That's just his natural state and Withers knew that when he invited you two."

Tav chuckles quietly. "He really is an ass. A charming one usually." They wipe tears they didn't notice pooling away from their eyes.

Shadowheart puts her heels back on and stands. She holds a hand out for Tav to grip. "Come on. Let's go find the others before all the good wine is gone."

Tav clasps hands with her and pulls up from the sand. It has soaked the seat of their britches and Tav swipes at the coating of sand left on their behind. "Shadowheart?"

She looks at Tav eyebrows raised "Hmm?"

"Thanks for listening. I-I actually feel a lot better now." Tav is shocked to find that is true even as they say it. They feel tired, emotionally drained, but the undercurrent of anxiety that has swept them though one interaction to the next has receded.

When Tav and Shadowheart enter the glow cast by the bonfire Tav takes stock of the state of the party. Karlach drops an armful of wood onto the flames and sparks leap into the air. Halsin, Jaheira, and Minsc are gathered at the same table Tav had left Minsc at earlier. Scratch and the owlbear cub run though the camp at top speed, barking and chirping. They nearly knock Shadowheart over in passing. Astarion is still talking to Lae'zel.

Gale picks up two glasses of wine and leaves the table where he and Wyll had been talking. approaches Shadowheart closely followed by his winged cat. Tav thinks back trying to remember what the cat was called. Tessa, maybe? That doesn't sound right. "My love." He kisses Shadowheart's cheek and hands her one of the two goblets of wine he had been holding. "There you are." His eyes radiate adoration and Shadowheart blushes. "And look what the tressim dragged in." He smiles widely at Tav. "I'm glad you made it. Professor Gale Dekarios of Blackstaff Academy, educator of the esteemed School of Illusion." He bends forward in a slight bow. "A pleasure to remake your acquaintance."

Tav grins back. "Shadowheart told me you were a teacher now. That's wonderful, congratulations!" The small group walks together to the table laden with wines and food that Gale had just left. Tav pours themselves a drink.

"Yes, we are all incredibly proud of our Mr. Dekarios." The winged cat says "He excels at the academy though his pupils hardly seem to appreciate the honor it is to be educated by the Gale Dekarios of Waterdeep."

To his credit Gale looks a little embarrassed. "Right um, Tav, this is Tarra. Tarra, Tav."

Tav nods a greeting to the handsomely colored tressim. "An honor. Gale always spoke so highly of you." The tressim preens, obviously pleased to know they had been praised in their absence. A cool breeze sweeps through the camp ruffling her feathers and making Shadowheart's dress flutter at the hem.

"So, Shadowheart told you I'm a professor now. Did she tell you what became of the orb?"

Tav shakes their head and Shadowheart shrugs "Believe it or not, Gale," Shadowheart's tone is teasing and she leans against the table lightly. "but we had other things to discuss besides you and your accomplishments."

He laughs good naturedly, practically bouncing in his shoes. "Well then, I'll fill you in on that particular piece of the story now!"

"I want to hear this too." Karlach joins their huddle and pulls a chair up for herself. She sits on it backwards resting her arms on the back. They all stand and sit in comfortable silence while they listen to Gale's story.