𝟬𝟳𝟯  this is me trying ²

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𝙇𝙓𝙓𝙄𝙄𝙄.
THIS IS ME TRYING / 𝘗𝘈𝘙𝘛 𝘛𝘞𝘖 

──────


Margarita Karapanou

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Margarita Karapanou



TW - overdose




THE DINNER - CONT.

FULL DISCLOSURE: MARK had not intended on staying.

There was an interval between date and therapy session, he'd been able to feel it. 

Suddenly, there was as if a switch had turned in Bethenny Ballard's brain. Her posture straightened, her face seemed to tense and she was ordering water to sober up a little. He watched her every movement, watching how she seemed to change from party to business within a matter of moments-- since when had he ever chosen business over party?

In reality, the subtle changes in her behaviour made him, in response, want to shut down. 

With every moment that she sobered up, he got drunker. 

It was like a very poor chemical reaction. The prospect of telling someone his inner thoughts was something that made him, quite chaotically, have his own personal civil war. Half of his being thought that it was completely pointless: hadn't he already shown himself that speaking his mind only brought trouble? 

He wasn't exactly the vulnerable type. Talking about feelings meant being honest about shit that he usually avoided even thinking about. He dreaded to even think about the sort of questions she'd ask.

But, at the same time, the other half of Mark Sloan wanted to talk so desperately. 

He'd forgotten what it was like to be heard. It was the same voice, at the back of his head, that reminded him how well Beth was doing. 

She'd championed therapy and look where she is... doing far better than he could have ever hoped for himself.

His ex-girlfriend was getting married and here he was, working out some unspoken 'Beth problem' over dinner.

Mark sighed into his glass.

Yeah, if he was going to do this, he was going to need a little bit more help on the alcohol front.

His pager was still sitting on the table between him, dubiously dormant and untouched. 

They'd been in the restaurant for nearly two hours and, when people asked him the day after why it had taken him so long, he would've pegged it as the two of them simply enjoying each other's company. 

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