Formerly known as Lucifer's Sanity.
Dark imagine with the essence of hate, fluff, chaos, betrayal and love.
Have you ever thought of the consequence of a playful wish?
"Dad, I want a Beast for myself!" 4-year-old Raya gushed like a puddle to her dad...
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"
Didn't I tell you, you were a fast learner, Raya? You did it great!" Allison patted my head affectionately while I mopped internally looking at the mess I made with the yarns around me.
"Stop it, Allison. This can hardly fit a crow. I should have tried a scarf or doormat. This is even crooked for a crow! Scratch that! Not even a sparrow to accommodate." I whined in disappointment and embarrassment at my first-ever try at knitting a sweater.
"It's worth it for a zero-practice task! Come on, we can try again after dinner." She tried to lift the spirits.
"Can we have dinner later? I'm so absorbed into this!"
"But Raya------" Please Ally, pretty please. Can I get a few more yarns?" I gave her my puppy eyes to melt her into a puddle.
"Aw, your cuteness. I'll get you a few more yarns. But I'll get you dinner in the next fifteen minutes!" She jumped on her feet and strode towards the door to grab a few more skeins of harns.
"Any colour specifications?" She threw me a look over the shoulder.
"Red and white, please." I started the small stitches and began working on the garter stitch.
As soon as Taehyung left me that day, I had a frustration-induced-mental-breakdown that lasted minutes before warm elderly arms engulfed my curled figure. With surprise and bemusement, I was partly astonished at my Gran's warmth invading me in tidal waves only to find Allison hugging me tenderly in her soft arms.
The tinge of disappointment overshadowed the tender emotions draping around my tattered heart. The unforeseen pumping of rage blinding my sane thoughts threw me over the edge of my composed perceptions. I was bristling for an unascertained reason which for sure was depressing like hell.
Was it negligence or betrayal?
Neglected that I can never be someone's first priority?
Or
Nobody I trust is worthy of being trusted?
Tackling negligence wasn't a course for the faint-hearted, which I once was. All these years of negligence and broken promises voided me out of my wants. They burned out the recess for demanding what I deserved. They starved out until it was a stark drought canopying my thoughts of wanting something or someone.
The lessons I thought I learnt were fruitless. The walls around my heart weren't high enough. The fortress-like strength I thought they possessed was delusive contentment for a house of cards.
The art I thought I mastered was a recipe for disaster because when Taehyung broke his promise I was back to square one, bruised and decrepit by my well of buried emotions aiming with vengeance for the lockdown.
