Die First

PART 8- VICTOR

They cut out my tracker the moment I get back to the Capitol. Everyone I've walked past has congratulated me, but I don't say a thing. I don't even look up. I just wan't to wake up and realise this was all a dream. I need Achilles back. I honestly don't know if I can live without him, I've seen him every single day of my life. What's my life even going to be without Achilles? My thoughts are distracted when I finally see someone I actually want to be with right now. Cashmere and Gloss are waiting for me at the end of a long hallway. I practically sprint to them, and they wrap their arms around me telling me it's going to be ok, hoping I'll be naive enough to believe them. "I killed him." I say, no emotion in my voice, tears quietly streaming down my face. "All I was trying to do was protect him, and I killed him." I pause for a moment, "What if spent his last moments thinking I killed him on purpose? What if he thought I knew the arrows were poisonous?"

"Athena, he would never in his wildest dreams think you killed him intentionally. He knew how much you loved him, he knew you were only trying to protect him. It's ok Athena, It's ok." Cashmere always knows what to say. Usually she calms me down but nothing will ever help this. I'm broken. Not even Glimmer will be able to fix this, fix me.

"Can we go home now? I need to see Glimmer, I can't spend one more second in the Capitol, please I need to go home."

"We go home tomorrow. You have another interview with Caesar tonight, so we are gonna take you to Remus in a minute. Then as soon as the sun rises we will leave, ok? I promise." Gloss says.

"Ok. Just one interview? Then I can go home?" They both nod and walk me to the designers hall. I clean myself up and change into some clothes I'm brought by an Avox. I walk to Remus' room and hug him the second I walk in. 

"I'm so sorry, Athena."

"All I was trying to do was protect him." I cry "I swear I didn't realise the arrows were poisonous, I mean Demetrius briefly mentioned they could be but in the heat of the moment I forgot. I swear, I swear I didn't kill Achilles on purpose. Please believe me."

"Hey, hey Athena, it's ok. Of course I don't think you killed him on purpose, I never considered the thought for a moment. But even if you did it wouldn't change anything, everyone would still know you loved him and protected him the best you could. But don't worry, please don't worry, it was evident that it was an accident, it's ok, you are safe now." Remus Myron. A man I barely know has managed to calm me down as much as one possibly could in this situation. "Now, I figured you may want to pay some sort of tribute to Achilles, so I made you a red dress, the same color Achilles' was for his interview, and I'll give you the exact gold jewellery he wore." I walk into a seperate room to get changed. After putting the jewellery on I look in the mirror and see a single tear falling down my face, a tear resembling the person who once wore this jewellery, a tear I'm going to have to wipe away for now, but never forget. I get my hair curled again and have a light layer of makeup dusted over my skin since they don't want to cover my "natural beauty." People in the Capitol seem to have some sort of obsession with tributes from one. Yes, most of us are practically perfect, clear skin, ocean eyes, soft, wavy hair full of color. But still, the way people here were looking at Achilles and I was extremely unnerving, we are only 15 and it's not like they are all unnaware, I don't understand how it's normality here to ogle at fucking 15 year olds. Like, yes I get it we are far more beautiful than any of you over consuming, makeup plastered, wig using, horribly dressed imbeciles. But come on, get a life instead of staring mindlessly at children. There's a knock on my door. It's Lusitania Apollo, my escort. 
"Hi, Athena. I'm so so sorry about what happened with Achilles. It's strange for me to see you without him, you two never left eachothers side." She laughs, awkwardly. "Um, anyway I just wanted to see if you were ready for your interview, and by the looks of things you are. You are so gorgeous Athena, I mean you looked gorgeous in the arena, fighting for your life. With your hair in two braids, little curls hanging out at the front. I envy you. I have to coat myself in makeup just to look like everyone else here." She pauses for a moment, looking for my response to her compliment, I think. "Athena. Why aren't you smiling? You're a victor now." If Lusitania is looking for a response from me, she's finally about to get one.