~<*>~ Pain in me ~<*>~

Chapter 23

Dino's blood is boiling while he walks through the park. Why won't Scoups believe him for once? He's literally trying to save his ass and Scoups doesn't give a shit! Dino punches the air frustrated while he sits down on the bench. He lets out a cold breath which turns into a small cloud. It's freezing outside, but he doesn't care. Dino can't be with Scoups right now, not because they have a fight, but because it reminds him of his sister. Dino lets his head fall down while tears are already forming in his eyes. Every time it's cold and freezing, Dino is extra emotional because he gets reminded of his sister more often. If someone would ask Dino what his sister was like, he would know what to tell them. She was a beautiful girl, already a woman in her mind. She had beautiful, brown hair just like her brother. Only she knew perfectly what to do with that hair, she never had a bad hair day. Her dream was to become a stylist, Dino always laughed about it. His sister was also very stubborn, even more than Dino is. Maybe that stubborness is what killed her. Dino shakes his head to get the thought out of his mind. He shouldn't think like this, it wasn't her fault and it wasn't his either. It was just a stupid accident, nothing more. It's only hard to believe when you don't believe it. It was deffinitely his fault. Dino breaths in the cold air while he looks up at the river in front of him. The water is frozen and it would look beautiful, but Dino can't bear the look of it. Dino gets up and slowly walks towards the jetty. The wood squeaks underneath his footsteps but Dino is determined. He has to do this for his sister. He has to do this for himself. Slowly and very careful, Dino places a foot on the ice. It seems to be thick, strong enough to carry him. After he took a deep breath, Dino puts his other foot on the ice as well. He's relieved to hear no single sound, the ice isn't breaking underneath him. Dino reaches in his pocket and wraps his fingers around the cold object while he takes another step nervously. He starts counting softly while he takes another step and another one, slowly towards the middle. Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen. After the seventeenth step, Dino stops. The jetty is a few meters away, it seems way too far. Suddenly, fear rushes over Dino. Why did he do this? What if the ice breaks? Shouldn't he go back? Dino looks around while his fingers hold the cold object in his pocket. Overwhelmed with panic, Dino quickly places the stone down on the ice. His sister used to love collecting stones, it was another weird habit of hers. 
"I'm sorry I can't do more. It's scary, you know. I can't imagine what it must've been for you. But I tried to pick the most beautiful stone I could find in this little forest. And... I'm sorry." After those words, Dino turns around and sprints back towards the jetty. He sighs relieved when he feels the ground again and when he's done running, he turns around to look at the ice. The stone is only a tiny spot on the enormous white river in front of him, but Dino feels some warmth growing inside of him. He did it, he really did it.
"I tried my best, sis", Dino mumbles before he walks off. It's starting to get real cold and Dino needs some warmth. Maybe he could stop by at Wonwoo's place? But what if he visits too often? Mingyu and Wonwoo do need their rest.
"Whatever", Dino chuckles as he makes way towards his best friend. But when he arrives and knocks, nobody answers. Dino sighs defeated, he didn't expect the two friends to go outside in this weather. 
"Well, at least I tried", Dino mutters disappointed while he makes his way back home. He can't avoid Scoups forever.

~<*>~

Scoups doesn't know what to do anymore. Every time he tries to help Dino, the guy gets mad. Hell, every time Scoups just does something Dino gets mad. Can't Scoups do anything right for that kid? Scoups grunts irritated while he wants to close the door, but suddenly the door gets pushed open, almost causing Scoups to fall down.
"What the...", Scoups curses, but he quiets down when he sees a face he didn't want to see.
"Not now Aylen, just go away", Scoups grunts, but the blonde doesn't move an inch. She keeps standing there, her arms crossed and her eyes fixed on him. She's wearing the hoodie Scoups always thought stood beautiful on her, it surprises him it still fits. On the other hand, Scoups hates it. He knows Aylen is playing a game and wearing Scoups' favorite hoodie is deffinitely part of it. 
"I'm not moving until you talk to me", Aylen says hardheaded.
"Seriously? Aylen I don't want to see you, when will you get that?" Scoups asks a little bit rude.
"I still want you, Scoups. When are you going to get that ?" Aylen responds. Scoups lets his head hang low defeated as a silence falls down upon the two. His heart and mind are battling inside of him, but as much as he wants to start over with Aylen, he can't. He has responsibilities and he can't focus if Aylen is around. 
"And... I don't", Scoups blurts out, although it hurts him to say those words.
"You and I both know you don't mean that", Aylen says softly and Scoups turns his head so he looks away from the blonde. He can't bear looking at her any longer.
"I cheated on you and I'm sorry for that, but I want to give us another shot! I promise I will be a better girlfriend", Aylen tries to convince him, but Scoups shakes his head.
"I don't believe you", he says firmly and Aylen scoffs.
"Chan hurt you too, why did you forgive him and not me!? He might be your best friend, but I was your soulmate!" Aylen yells frustrated and Scoups is so furious he dares to look her in the eyes again.
"First of all, Chan is not my best friend. And second of all, you are certainly not my soulmate", Scoups grits through his teeth and Aylen gasps shocked.
"What is up with you? What did Chan do wrong to you?" she asks desperately.
"Oh, you couldn't even guess", Scoups scoffs and Aylen grunts frustrated.
"You killed Chan's parents, he should be mad at you, not the other way around!" Aylen exclaims and Scoups feels the shivers rush past his spine thinking back at that horrible moment.
"My parents were killed too! Why does everyone forget that!?" Scoups shouts devestated. That one moment left a scar that was never going to heal, still everyone sees Scoups as the villain.
"Then what's your problem with Chan!?" Aylen screams at the top of her lungs. She really must be desperate. But this makes Scoups understand it all.
"You're not here for me, are you?" he asks, his voice trembling. Aylen opens her mouth, but her eyes tell enough.
"I knew it", Scoups scoffs, he can't help but to feel hurt.
"It's not what you think", Aylen says and Scoups locks eyes with her again, he really wants the truth right now. He has had it with lies.
"What is it then?" he asks, his voice almost a whisper.
"As I said, I still love you. And I haven't heard of you since the accident happened about seven years ago, but I haven't heard from Chan ever since either. And I still love him too, Scoups. But can I help it? Love is something you can't control, right?" Aylen tries to explain and Scoups nods his head.
"I wish I could", he mumbles. Why is Aylen so close to him, but also so far away?
"I wanted to know where he was and I thought he might be with you", Aylen says, suddenly insecure.
"How did you even find me?" Scoups asks curiously.
"I took a guess. I thought you would be following that scolarship", she says and Scoups nods. He did indeed, but things have gone a different way.
"Chan isn't here with me", Scoups says firmly. He suddenly has had enough of Aylen. How dare she hurt him like this?
"Why do I get the feeling that you're not telling me the truth?" Aylen asks.
"You're not really telling me the truth either, are you?" Scoups snaps back.
"You have to understand," Aylen says desperately, "when you left, you and I already broke up. But Chan and I never did." Scoups blinks to hide his tears, how could she say that to his face?
"Well, if you really want to know...", Scoups says while he pushes Aylen out the doorway gently.
"Please, I'll be forever grateful!" she begs.
"He's dead. Buried in the ground. Goodbye, Aylen. Never come back again", Scoups says before he closes the door in her face. He can still hear her gasp and only a few seconds pass before she runs off. Scoups sighs deeply, why is fate making his life so difficult?

~<*>~

Aylen feels hot tears running over her cheeks as she runs towards her home. How could he leave her like that? What a jerk! Aylen has to admit she hasn't been very honest either, but she still thought Scoups would have been a better man. Now she hates him and she hates herself for still having faith in him. How could Chan be dead? Aylen still can't believe it. When she enters her house, Woojin and Jisung already are sitting on the couch. When they notice her wet cheeks, they immediatly get what happened.
"He told you, didn't he?" Woojin asks, a sparkle of softness appears in his voice.
"You knew?" Aylen asks shocked. Why didn't they tell her?
"He was the leader of our team, of course we knew", Jisung answers.
"You know what, never mind," Aylen says as she wipes her tears, "I'm done taking Scoups' bullshit. You can start the plan. I want revenge."
"I have been waiting for you to say that," Jisung smiles, "they are going to regret hurting our leader."

~<*>~

Wonwoo lies down on the couch while his breathing is still unstable. Mingyu is rushing from his room towards the living room Wonwoo is in.
"Another one of those?" Mingyu asks concerned, referring to Wonwoo's coughs. Wonwoo nods his head while he's still breathing heavily.
"You're running out of time, aren't you?" Mingyu asks, his eyes already filling wih tears.
"Don't start to cry, there's no need to", Wonwoo says, trying to comfort his friend.
"Are you even going to make Christmas?" Mingyu asks while he sits down besides Wonwoo. Wonwoo wants to say he will, but the only thing he can do is shrug.
"I don't know", Wonwoo admits and Mingyu already looks up to the ceiling to hide his tears.
"Come on, Mingyu. We'll be fine!" Wonwoo says but Mingyu looks at him with anger in his eyes.
"But you're dying!" Mingyu yells frustrated and Wonwoo gasps hearing those words out loud. It's the first time Wonwoo actually hears the words.
"When will you realize that?" Mingyu adds in a softer voice.
"When I'm dead, probably", Wonwoo says dryly but Mingyu can't give him a smile.
"Stop joking Wonwoo, this is serious!" Mingyu snaps. Suddenly, someone knocks on the door. Wonwoo wants to get up to open the door, but Mingyu holds him back.
"No visitors right now, it's not the right timing", he says firmly and Wonwoo looks at him in disbelief. Is Mingyu really going to take everything away from him?
"I just want to spend time with you and with friends, while I still can!" Wonwoo yells in defense.
"Why should this always be sad? Can't I have fun?" he adds and Mingyu is silent for a few minutes before he answers.
"The friends who don't even know what's going on?" Mingyu asks and Wonwoo gets another stab in the heart.
"Wonwoo, when are we going to show them?" Mingyu asks and Wonwoo looks away to avoid the question.
"Wonwoo, when will we stop lying?"