No Choice But You // Ominis Gaunt x Reader

Chapter 18

Y/n's POV//

The morning after the party, I woke up with a massive migraine, still in the clothes from the night before. I groaned when I remembered the essay I'd yet to complete that was due tomorrow, and reluctantly pulled myself from the bed and hobbled over to the shower. 

"That bad, huh?" Anne called from where she sat on her bed. She was surrounded by books all open on the mattress, with one hovering in front of her. She moved her hand over the book and flipped the page, then scribbled something down on the parchment resting on her thigh. 

"I feel like I jumped into a pile of bricks," I admitted, stretching my arms over my head. "Did I jump into a pile of bricks?"

I honestly couldn't remember too much from the night before. Everything was foggy, and coming to me in bits and pieces as I tried to recall the night. I still hadn't been eating well, so every time I drank, it hit me harder than a blasting curse. 

"Well, you disappeared halfway into the night, and I didn't see you again after that," she told me with a chuckle. "Did you ever complete your mission?"

"What mission?" I said, cocking an eyebrow at her. I hadn't the foggiest of what she was talking about. 

"You went off to find Ominis after he left the party." She flipped several pages forward in her book, scribbled down another note, and closed it with a sigh. I stripped off the tights under my skirt and started working away at the buttons on my blouse, going into the bathroom. I closed the door, leaving it cracked, so that I could still talk to Anne. 

"Did I really? Why did I do that?" I questioned. I scrunched my eyebrows and tried to recall anything from last night involving Ominis. Nothing was coming to mind. 

Well--one thing, now, but it didn't make any sense. 

I remember talking with him outside The Undercroft. But what did I say?

"You didn't say," Anne told me. 

"Have you talked to Ominis this morning? Or did you see him again last night after he left?"

"He mentioned he ran into you, but wouldn't elaborate," she mused. "What shenanigans did the two of you get up to last night?" 

"You know more than I do," I said, pulling my hair out of the updo it was in. Anne had styled my hair with about a million pins, and it took me forever to dig them all out of my hair. My migraine instantly decreased tenfold once they were out. I really shouldn't have fallen asleep with them in there, but here we are. No going back. 

Anne didn't say anything else, and I jumped into the shower. 

* * * 

It all came back to me mid-shower, and I nearly slipped and broke my neck. I grabbed my face in my hands and hyperventilated, not sure how I would face him after that. 

I'd kissed him. The first time could have been a simple mistake. But that second kiss? That wasn't just a kiss--we'd snogged for a good minute. He seemed into it, but he clarified that it was a mistake. It must have only been the alcohol. 

Gods, how was I going to look him in the eye again after that?

I sat down in the shower and pondered the implications of what I'd done. 

"Oh god, oh god oh god..." I repeated over and over again into my hands. My face burned when I thought about the way his tongue...

No. Nope. I couldn't be thinking like that. He told me it was a mistake. It was just a mistake. He didn't want me, and I knew that. 

My chest ached with the realization, and I could no longer linger in my stupid little fantasies. Maybe before, it was easy to imagine that he liked me, and I might have liked him too, but he said it was a mistake. 

Kissing me was a mistake. I couldn't be thinking anything else. 

And the things I'd said to him before it happened--those were stupid drunken confessions that I never meant to share. 

I stopped and pulled my hands away from my face. I knew this would happen if I let myself get too comfortable. If I was around Anne, then I would have to be around Ominis a lot, and Sebastian too. Ominis didn't want me to be his friend. 

That meant the others would be off limits, too, seeing that Sebastian and Poppy were an item now. They tended to go wherever Poppy went, and the same for Sebastian and his little trio. There just wasn't a place for me there. 

I didn't know what I'd been doing all this time by tricking myself into thinking that I could belong. The hole that I was in was too deep to crawl out of now. Starting today, I would go back to the way things were, and keep my distance. I didn't need them, and they certainly didn't need me. 

I left the shower and dressed myself, then headed out of the dorm. Anne tried to stop me to chat again, but I brushed her off and left without saying anything. I wasn't sure what I would've said, anyways. I certainly couldn't tell her what happened last night. And if I spent any time with her today, there was a good chance I'd run into Ominis, and that couldn't happen. I wouldn't be able to handle that right now at all. 

I climbed the stairs and exited the castle, not sure where to go or what to do with myself. 

We were well into fall now, and all the trees had been stripped of their leaves, and they were rotting and decaying upon the Earth. A misty rain fell from the sky, and the all too familiar after the rain smell filled my nose, making me scrunch my face in a frown. 

I realized I should have grabbed my broom on the way out. Melancholy weather was always my favorite time to go for a ride for two reasons:

One, no one else was going to be in the skies on a rainy day. 

Two, the coldness from the rain and wind helped to numb my senses, and that was about the only time I could think straight when the aches and pains started to take over. I felt the tell-tale signs of an episode brewing inside me, and I didn't want to be caught out here in front of people like that, so I headed for the forest, where I knew would be free of other students.