A Melody Of You

Leanne

She took my arm and made me get up. I wanted to cry that moment when I realized that she was helping me escape his burning eyes. I was able to give him a quick goodbye and walk with Cristina out of the cafeteria. She looked back to see if he was following us and then we walked into the elevator.

She gave me a grin and her eyes twinkled with pride for her grand escape. "Hey! I thought you needed some help back there. I didn't interrupt anything, right?"

I couldn't help it anymore. I let out the sob I had been holding in and her smile immediately disappeared. She looked at the elevator doors opening and she quickly closed them again as she put the floor for her office.

She then held my shoulder as I put my hands on my knees and I continued to sob. "What happened?! Was it him? What did he say? What did he do?"

All I could do was cover my face and shake my head. She began to guide me to her office once the elevator opened again and I looked down so no one could see my tear-stained face. Once she closed the door of her office, I sat on her small couch and began to cry again. My heart was too weak to hold onto anything. I was too disappointed and angry at myself. I couldn't lie to myself anymore.

Cristina held me close and I put my head on her chest. I stained her blouse with my tears and her warmth was the only thing I could truly understand at that moment.

"Oh, my sweet girl," she softly said as her hand gently rubbed my back. "It'll be okay. I'm here..."

"It died." I finally was able to speak up when I found my breath.

Cristina still held me to her chest as she said, "What did?"

"The heart. It died. She died, Cristina. I couldn't...I tried. I did everything. I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know--"

She helped me sit up straight and her eyes were filled with sympathy at my words. "You lost a patient?" I nodded as more cold tears fell down my cheeks. She did a sad sigh and took my hand. "I'm so sorry. When was it?"

"A few hours ago."

"Oh, Leanne..." She gave me another hug again and this time I lay my head on her shoulder. "I'm so sorry...Why didn't you call me when you were feeling this way? Why were you with him?! What was he even doing there?"

That's right. The last drop that made my tears overflow. I told her the conversation we had and she frowned. She was annoyed and upset at what happened a few moments ago. She shook her head in disbelief and said, "I can't believe this guy! Like what the hell?! Who does he think you are to take you like you're just some helpless or desperate girl? He's not even that cute to be Filipino!"

I agreed with her, but my lips still quivered. Her expression softened and she came closer to my side to put an arm around me. "Oh, sweet girl. You deserve someone so much better. He's so lame. He doesn't even know what he wants. All he cares about is what others will think."

"He came all this way just to be so disappointed."

"That's not your fault. He chose that. He should have called you first."

I covered my eyes and I'm back in college when my heart shattered because of him...

"I wish I was better. I just want to be a good doctor. I want to be a good friend. But it's never enough. They're always disappointed. I can't help. They are always hurt. Why must he walk away like this? Why must I push him away when all I wanted was my friend back? I don't mean to hurt him. I don't mean to lose that heart..."

Cristina looked at me in silence as she let my words sink in. I could tell she was looking for the right words. I could tell her heart had begun to fall for my state. So she gently gave my hand a warm squeeze and softly said, "You can't help making every heart be well. Some are bound to stop and others slowly fade away. You once told me that one can never protect everyone. Someone will eventually get hurt or leave." She then put her head on my shoulder and I know she did a small smile. "But staying is a choice. A humble one because it means that you want the best for the person you are staying for. And I will always choose to stay because I want to see you do your pretty smile every day..."

Her words...made my heart stop. It was like I could hear that beautiful rhythm of a heart come back to life in my ears. It was my heart...

She moved her head a little so she could lock eyes with me and give me her warm smile. I was so filled with love at that moment that new tears came out. She stood to get a few tissues on her desk and came back to give them to me. I sniffled and she still smiled at me. She gave me a warm blink that made my heart shiver out of its cold state. But even with her...I have learned to be cautious when I had a best friend that would tell me she would follow me to the ends of the earth and only stepped away the moment she changed her plans to leave me on my own in medical school.

"Do you need some water? Or tea? Have you eaten?"

I sniffled as new tears came down my cheeks and my voice was shaky as I said, "Thank you for being so good to me. You truly are such a good friend. My only best friend."

The only one that has stayed so far.

"Awh, Anne." She brought me close again and I laid my head on her shoulder.

My shattered heart has warmed up again because of her. I realized then what true love is. I knew what I wanted to see now. The only person meant to look for the shattered pieces of my heart will be just like her; willing to stay to look for those pieces. Someone who falls in love with a smile most of all because only then will they truly care for those pieces...