[BoyxBoy] ✓ I Fell In Love With An Emo Boy

55. SIRENS

"Where is this coming from? Of course I'm not. I only like you! I love you!" T pressed, urgency in his eyes.

"Right, because you sang a couple songs on a stage. With him. How surprising. And I thought it was about me." I laughed bitterly.

"It was about you! Why are you being like this!" Timothy reached for my hand but I pushed him away.

"Don't touch me!" I screamed. "Why the hell are you even with me if you don't care? Is it funny to you?!"

Timothy looked completely confused as if there was no truth to what I was saying.

"What makes you think I don't care-"

"Cause if you cared about me it would hurt you to see me with someone else, it would make you feel something!" I shook Timothy by his shoulders.

"But of course you don't cause you're just cold and emotionless. And that's why you don't care about being a secret, and you don't care when someone kisses me and you don't care about anything because you're just a shell of a person! Do you get a kick out of this?! Hurting people?!"

T and I looked at each other for a long time. His eyes started tearing up and he looked absolutely devastated. My anger flickered.

"Is that really how you feel about me?" T said softly. He only looked at me for a moment before staring at the ground. He started to cry, his tears landing on the floor.

"Wait, I'm sorry." I reached for his shoulder. "I was just angry-"

"I'm going home." Timothy brushed past me. He couldn't even look at me.

He walked to the door.

"Wait, at least let me drive you-"

"I'll take the bus." T said quietly and disappeared outside.

I was filled with such rage and guilt.

Not again! Why do you keep hurting him!

Deep inside I knew it wasn't him. I was projecting. I was the reason I felt like this. I was to blame. Me and my insecurities and my cowardice.

"Dammit!" I kicked a garbage can and ran to the bathroom.

It was ice cold in there. The window was wide open.

I rubbed some water on my face and took a few breaths. I had to get out of here. I stood there staring at myself in the mirror for a long time.

Get it together. I told myself.

I had to find Dave and explain things so it wouldn't get worse with him. Or maybe I'd just tell my friends goodbye and go straight home.

I walked into the hallway and back to the gym. The party was still on. People were dancing and jumping around to the music of the band that had finally shown up. I searched the room for my friends but only found some of them.

I pulled Karl apart.

"Hey, where is everyone?" I asked.

"I don't know, man." He shrugged. He was lying. Terribly at that.

"Come on!"

"I'm not supposed to say." He smiled.

"Fine!" I pushed him into the crowd.

I pulled Benjamin apart. He reeked of alcohol. "Have you seen Dave? And where the hell are Nick and Taylor?"

"They went outside. I think they went to beat someone up." The guy shrugged. He started to laugh as if it was something funny.

My heart started racing.

"Who?" I growled.

"Some geek." He shrugged watching me curiously. He probably wondered why I cared so much.

"That emo guy."

✪

I ran through the cold streets as fast I could. Snow was falling down relatively slowly, but the streets were already packed in white.

I ran down to the closest bus stop looking for Timothy like my life depended on it.

I found it empty. Was he home already?

I grabbed my phone and called him.

"Pick up, pick up.." I mumbled.

Voicemail. Fuck!

I suddenly heard loud drunken laughter roaring through the streets. I ran further down the road. I slipped on the snow but got right back up again.

In the distance I saw three guys, lit up from street lights on the basketball court. Kicking, punching, laughing at something I couldn't see. Someone I couldn't see.

It can't be Timothy.

I imagined Timothy getting beat up with blood all over his face and a black eye. Just the thought alone made me feel weak.

I took a few dazed steps forward. My knees weakened for a moment. I sank to the ground.

What the hell are you doing?! Get up!

"Oh shit, he stopped moving." Taylor said.

They broke out in laughter.

"Hey.." I found my voice again but they couldn't hear me.

"Hey!" I screamed loud.

I got up on my feet and started running towards the basketball court.

"Oh shit!" Nick said, running away. Taylor followed.

Dave was the last person I saw. Fear flashed in his eyes before he ran off into the dark.

It's not Timothy, It's not Timothy. I told myself.

Until I was there.

I raced through the fence and found him on the ground, motionless.

"No!" I cried.

I dropped down next to him and grabbed his collar.

I glanced into the dark and contemplated going after them but then I'd have to leave him alone.

"Timothy!" I shrieked, shaking him in my arms desperately. "Wake up!" I yelled.

He lay still, eyes closed. There were no bruises on his face. No cuts. It was like he was asleep.

"No!" I screamed again, shaking him heavily.

He's not dead. That's not possible.

"Come on!" I muttered desperately. I placed my head against his chest and listened for a heart beat. My own heart beat thumped so loud in my ear I couldn't hear a thing.

"Shit!" I grabbed my phone and called the emergency line.

"Help! He's dying!" I screamed. My voice breaking.

The emergency worker told me to calm down and explain the situation.

I gave the address and told them to hurry.

I dropped my phone in the snow from my shaking hand and pulled Timothy's head on my lap.

"Come on, baby. You're okay. You're gonna be fine." I told myself but I didn't believe it.

He's ice cold. He doesn't feel..

No! He's not dead! He's just cold!

I ripped my blazer off and put it on him.

"Why didn't you get your coat?" I said to him.

I said to no one.. There was no sound. No answer. The streets were empty. All I heard was my voice. My breathing. No one else's.

Tears streamed down my face and my breathing became louder.

"Come on, Tim. Please, I'm sorry." I begged, rocking him back and forth.

I stroked his pale cheek.

"Please..." I repeated again and again until I heard sirens.