𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖘 𝕮𝖔𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖓𝖎𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖙𝖞 ↪ Hogwarts X Reader

『3.5』

Neville: How can you still say that?

Y/n: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Y/n: So uh, for this party and everything, do you, uh...

Ernie, sighing: You don't know how to dress for this, do you?

Y/n, panicked: WHAT IS CLOTHES???

Fred: Cause your pretty and your smart, and your ignoring me so your obviously my type.
Y/n, who was distracted: I'm sorry- what were you saying?
Fred: Perfect.

Y/n: How many vampires do you think have been hit by a car backing up in a parking lot because the driver couldn't see their reflection?

Ezekiel: I've never considered it but you're really shining light on what's probably a very serious issue.

Y/n: If I had a face like yours, I'd put it on a wall and throw a brick at it.

Zacharias: If I had a face like YOURS, I'd put it on a brick and throw a wall at it.

Y/n: I'm sorry I'm late I got caught up doing a couple of things and got distracted.

Fred: I'm "a couple of things."

George: And I'm "got distracted."

Y/n: Guys what the fuck is wrong with you?

Fred: Without ugly, there would be no beauty in this world.

George: Thank you for your sacrifice, Percy.

Y/n: Time sensitive question how flirt boy.

Harry: Throw rocks at he.

Ron: Hot Dogs.

Hermione: Kill him.

Y/n: Thanks guys.

Any Fictional Guy: *angrily presses You against a wall* WHERE'S THE MONEY?!

You: ...

You: Are we about to kiss-

(you know i'm right.)

Y/n: We call that a traumatic experience.

Y/n, turning to Harry: Not a "bruh moment".

Y/n, turning to Hermione: Not "sadge".

Y/n, turning to Ron: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO".

Hermione: So oxygen went on a date with potassium, it went... OK.

Harry: I thought oxygen was dating magnesium, OMG.

Hermione: Actually oxygen first asked nitrogen out, but nitrogen was all like NO.

Harry: I thought oxygen had that double bond with the hydrogen twins.

Y/n: Looks like someone's a HO.

Ron: NaBrO.

Draco: I'm done with all of you!

Dean: I really like Eminem.

Y/n, only knowing the candy: I prefer skittles.

Harry: They are talking about the rapper.

Y/n: Why would they eat the wrapper?

Hermione: So what's for dinner?

Y/n: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!

Hermione: ...

Hermione: Is it soup?

Y/n: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Hermione: Please, enough with the soup puns!

Y/n: Wow, you're soup-per mean.

Hermione: STOP!

*one hour later*

Hermione: It's fucking tacos?!?!?!

Luna: Look at me straight in the eyes and tell me the truth, Y/n!

Y/n: You can't expect me to look into your eyes and be straight.

Y/n: Ugh, crushes are so dumb.

Fred: I know. Whenever I'm near the person I like I just start acting stupid.

Y/n: But you're always acting stupid?

Fred: ...

Fred: Yeah, don't think about that too hard.

(I found another one that's from Harry Potter, woah look.)

Dumbledore: You are, of course, wondering why it is I have brought you here tonight.

Harry: Actually, sir, after all these years, I just sort of go with it.