Till Death Do Us Part

Guilt

(Amy's POV)

No alarm startled me awake, it was the pain in my head that woke me. My memory of last night was a blur. That blasted sun didn't help my headache, as it pierced through the curtains. I groaned in complain. I guess I should really be getting up. When my vision came into focus, I saw Shadow still resting beside me. I had this undeniable guilt that hit suddenly. I actually had sex with him... Don't get me wrong, last night was amazing. But, I couldn't shake this guilt in my heart as if I was cheating on my husband. Without trying to disturb Shadow, I ran to the bathroom, feeling ill. I toyed with the wedding band. I took it off my ring-finger, and started sobbing. "I'm so sorry, Sonic." After sobbing for several minutes, I recollected myself and took a quick shower. 

When I left the bathroom, I noticed Shadow had left. This was a slight relief to me. I really didn't want to talk about what happened last night. I sat on the edge of his bed, with his robe wrapped tightly around me. I kept hearing my cellphone buzzing every so often. I can't even imagine how worried Cream, Tails, and even the kids must be since last night. I didn't exactly plan the events that took place, therefore, they weren't aware of why I hadn't returned. I retrieved my phone from my small satchel that laid on the floor, starting to scroll through the messages, and listen to the voicemails. I wasn't quite sure how to explain to them why I didn't come home. I apologized to Cream in a text, just simply telling her I got sick at the party and I just stayed at Shadow's place. I hated to lie about it, but, I couldn't exactly tell them what really happened, how could I? I was already feeling guilty as it was. 

I retrieved my clothes from the night before, and slipped them on, and slipped on my shoes. Walking in the living room, I found Echo the dark chao snoozing away on a cushion on the couch. I quietly patted it on the head, a heart quickly floated above its head but Echo did not wake up fully upon my touch. I slipped out of the apartment, and made my way down the sidewalk. I walked home lost in my thoughts. I barely noticed the world around me, each step I took. 

When I arrived home, Cream was the first face that I saw. She was in the kitchen cooking for her and the kids. I was honestly surprised the kids weren't even up yet. But, being the weekend I knew they would like to sleep in. Once she acknowledged me at the door, we both embraced. I was quick to apologize, but she waved it off quickly. "Did you at least have fun with Shadow, at his work party? Before you felt... sick? " As I retrieved some plates from the cabinet, I just acknowledged her with a nod. After she finished preparing breakfast, she just watched me. It was as if she was expecting me to  confess. I now felt vulnerable under her gaze, all of a sudden. I got Mach and Lily up from their slumber, and was welcomed by both of them with a tight embrace, asking whether my tummy felt better. Of course telling them that I was feeling much better, and told them to go have breakfast before it becomes cold.

--

Later that evening, I was fiddling with my wedding ring in my grasp then startled out of my thoughts when Cream joined me on the sofa. "Did something happen last night?" Cream whispered. Chaos, she could read me like an opened book. I gave a sigh. I did not like lying to my best friend. I had so much on my mind right now, and sometimes it was better to admit it. 

"I...think Shadow and I moved way too fast." I could see the realization that dawned on my friend's face. "I felt... like I cheated on Sonic." My eyes fell on the golden wedding band in my grasp. 

The suspense was killing me as Cream processed my confession. "I can't exactly say I understand how you feel, because I don't." She patted my hand, "you're happy with Shadow, and there's nothing wrong with that." Cream paused to ponder. "Sonic wouldn't want you to feel guilty for being happy..."

I wiped at my eyes, fresh tears falling. "Sure, but I go and sleep with Shadow.. wouldn't that be replacing Sonic? I can't even think about someone else replacing him..." 

"You still have all your memories... nothing will ever replace that. Isn't that the most important? Remembering Sonic?" Cream wasn't wrong, and I immediately froze. Yes, I was falling for Shadow, and sure last night was amazing, as well as any other night with him... but that will never erase the memories with Sonic. Memories of our childhood together, the years that I chased for his heart, and finally marrying my true love while surrounded by friends and family. Through it all, and the best of the memories that we shared were when we welcomed Lily and Mach into our world. They had their dad for such a short time, unfortunately. But, I knew in my heart eventually the two will be warming up to the idea of making new memories with Shadow, while we still remember the ones we did have with their father, and cherish throughout their lives. I knew Cream was right, even before her and I spoke on the subject. In my heart, I didn't want to admit it. At least, not out loud. 

Memories was all that I had of Sonic now. 

My relationship with Shadow will never change how I miss my first love, and I know Shadow wouldn't expect me to miss him any less. I will continue my life without him, and Shadow will be a part of it all. After Christmas time was over, and the month of December drew to an end, we celebrated the New Year with friends and family. Lily and Mach desperately wanted to celebrate at midnight with us, but could not keep their eyes open after 10 that night. Shadow and I snuck a kiss when the clock struck midnight. 

When everyone went on home, I hinted to Shadow that he should stay. I thought about it weeks ago, that if Shadow's gonna be in our life now... why not have him live with us? He wasn't sure about the idea, yet. However, to my surprise, I woke up one Sunday morning to find him fixing a cup of coffee, and Echo floating around the living room curious about his new surroundings.  I saw some of his belongings by the door, confirming that Shadow had warmed up to the idea of living with us and the kids.  Shadow didn't own a lot of things, so it wasn't much of a transition from his apartment to my little cozy home. Due to Shadow's shift at G.U.N headquarters he wasn't home much, anyway, so that gave me some time to talk to the kids about his new living situation. Of course, Lily already confided in me about Shadow's stuff being in the house. That evening, I sat down with her and her brother to break the news. I expected Lily to be upset, so I was not surprised in the least when she didn't emerge from her bedroom for hours. When I offered her supper, it sit for the rest of the night, she was now asleep in her bed. I snuggled in beside her, and held her close, like I would when she was baby. I felt her give a sigh against me, and her eyes slightly peek open before closing again. I think I stayed there the whole night.. holding her, because when I woke up again I noticed all of her posters on the wall, and felt not only Lily resting on my body, but her brother as well.

Soon, it won't be just the three of us anymore. I wasn't quite sure how long that will last, but that's part of life isn't it? Like Sonic would constantly remind me, life is truly an adventure!