Hard As It Is

Chapter 13

"I'm surprised you haven't figure this shit out by now?" I question him shaking my head at his stupidity, as he continues flipping throughout the photos.

"I figured they were good friends. My mind didn't jump to lovers in an instance," he lets me know clearly aggravated at my attack at his naivety.

"Yeah, they were, this is probably another thing August didn't tell you, now this one I don't blame him though," I tell him as he places the pictures on the desk on the side of the other ones.

He looks up at me with curious eyes, "What do you mean you don't blame him?" We continue to look around the office.

"It's must've been hard on them both, not being able to live fully in their truth. Times were different back then Jahmir. Nowadays in this generation if a man wanna suck dick, and walk around with another man on his shoulder, he can do it and feel safe to do so. Even if this world still has homophobia, it's not as bad as it was back then. People are more accepting," I explain to him looking through some books on the shelf.

"I feel bad for them both really, it's sad how they came to an end. I feel lucky to have been raised in times where there's more acceptation in my sexuality even if folks don't understand it."

I open up to him a bit. Of course I've experienced hate for my sexuality. For some reason it didn't matter to people if I was Bisexual, if I told them I like both they label me as just gay.  I lost a lot of friends, had a lot of niggas try to play me for pussy to.

Jahmir was quiet for a moment as I turn my head to look towards him. Noticing he was staring at me. "What?"

"I just notice how this whole time we've been in this house, for the past few hours you haven't been hostile to me at all," He tells me a small smile on his lips.

To be honest I notice this too but I just decided to walk with it. I've been in my thoughts too, didn't get much sleep because I was in my thoughts to.

We stare at each other for a lil bit before he realizes and his embarrassment takes over, and he looks back down at the envelope.

I take this as an opportunity to tease him, something about seeing his face make those type of emotions made me feel something.

"Would you rather me be hostile towards you if not then stop with the observation."

"You still want your revenge on me?" Jahmir questions me.  In an instant it also kills the mood I was feeling.

I stare at him for quite a while before letting out a painful sigh. "There's no way I can ever forget  what you did Jahmir, but we have bigger problems ahead of us, and like you said back at the trap. We have to work together, and worry about our problems later."

Jahmir lips upturn in a small smile.

"Amir keep my apology close okay, I know it ain't much hearing it from me. But hopefully one day you can feel sometype of closure from it. I never regretted killing anyone as bad as I do now, and if I can go back and time and stop it from ever happening I would, because I feel like me and you if we would've meet under different circumstances, we could've have been good friends."

My breath hitches, seeing him smile towards the end.  One thing I can say the nigga had a beautiful smile.

I shake my head, chuckling a bit, "You really are something, I'm sorry nigga but friends don't have their tongues down each other throats."

Jahmir skin lightens in the face, "Oh my god such a mood killer bruh!"  I laugh a bit.

"I can't believe August made notes of all the drugs I experimented with," Jahmir tells me picking up the yellow envelope. The same envelope he had been looking through just a few seconds ago.