Always there

Part 10

I open my eyes and catch a glimpse into the garage window Josh is getting up and making his way to the garage door. "Josh is coming, move!"
I muster out as he pants in my ear. He pulls away and starts lifting my trousers over my ass for me, he lifts his own up and he turns to open the freezer leaning down pretending to look for ice, I'm assuming. I fix myself up flattening my hair and buttoning my jeans feeling my wetness press against my underwear, I cross my legs over still feeling the sensation of his movement. I grab the whiskey from the cupboard as Josh walks in.

I turn to face him,
"Hey you want any whiskey or another joint?" He gives a look like he's suspicious. "I'm just going to the bathroom, but I'll take another joint if you're offering" he says with a slow questioning tone."No problem, I'll roll one now" mimicking his tone. "Sweet" he shrugs and hurries upstairs to use the bathroom. I turn and place my hands on the counter putting my head down and sighing.
"Don't worry I don't think he suspects anything"
Sam whispers to me, still leaning down towards the freezer. "Are you alright down there?" I ask as he is essentially icing his dick at this point. "Yeah, it's going down slowly" he grins, I laugh. I get my weed and start rolling another joint ready for Josh when he comes back downstairs.

Sam gets up, I'm assuming his erection has gone down, he reaches for my hand squeezing it and he goes outside for a cigarette. Josh is taking a while so I go upstairs to inspect, I see my bedroom door ajar. "Ahem, what're you doing in here?" I ask as I see Josh looking through my things. He jumps startled "I'm sorry, I thought this was the bathroom and got distracted" I lift my eyebrows giving him a look, "I really hope you didn't piss in my room thinking it was a bathroom?" I laugh, I'm not a very private person, I don't really care if someone wants to know more, but if someone wants to know something about me they can ask. I have no secrets, other than I occasionally fool around with Sam.

He laughs back, "No I certainly did not piss in your room, but my eyes caught these crystals they are beautiful I didn't know you collected?" I shift my eyes to where I keep my crystals. "Ahh well I've just kinda collected them over the years, I just think they look pretty" I pause "Also in future if there is something you want to know about me, just ask I'm pretty open. No need to snoop in my room" I give him a reassuring face to let him know I'm not angry or annoyed. He looks over at me whilst putting my selenite crystal back down.
"Well I do have one question" he pauses "I have always wondered if you and I would ever get together, have you ever thought about it?"

I look at him widening my eyes, sobering from the high and the alcohol. I stay silent for a minute. This isn't something I want to answer right now there's too many things to think about at once.

I clear my throat before speaking "I can't say I have ever thought about us Josh and if I ever did I just feel like it would make things weird between us, we've always been friends and if something were to happen between you and I, I feel like it would throw off our friendship and I like having you in my life, I know you're probably just looking to have some fun" I give him an empathetic smile.

I don't want to hurt his feelings. I care about him a lot and I will never lead on someone and let them believe I like them in a romantic way when I don't. He didn't break eye contact while I was speaking.

"Well I think you should know, I've liked you since I was like 14 and I still do, I don't think that will ever change. I'm not just looking for some fun" he looks to his shoes as he trails off...
I don't know what to say, this is intense I want to vanish.
He lifts his head I can see visible hurt in his eyes, he opens his mouth to speak "I always had the feeling you and Sam had a thing for each other but I guessed with how much time you's have spent together over the years if something was gonna happen it would have happened already but it never has, as far as I know anyway"

I look down at the floor out of awkwardness not knowing what to say at all now being confronted with the idea of Sam and I being a thing. I don't like lying at all especially to the people closest to me, I can't do it.

"Josh, I'm really sorry I don't reciprocate your feelings" he steps closer to me, now standing toe to toe with me "I wish I did but I've never thought to look at you that way" I decided to just ignore the whole Sam thing and focus on what the actual conversation was about so I didn't have to try and lie my way out.

He lifts my chin with his finger and goes straight in for a kiss, I let him kiss me for a second his lips were soft and felt nice but I pull back, placing my fingers on my lips. "If you felt nothing that's fine but I had to at least try or I would regret it" he turns and walks out the door, I hear him mumble something as he turns down the stairs. I sit down on my bed taking in the last 5 minutes. I throw myself back onto the bed eyes wide trying to find the will to go back downstairs. One minute I'm mindlessly making out with Sam on my kitchen counter next minute his brother Josh is admitting his feelings for me and kissing me in my bedroom. I physically groan and sit up, startled as Danny is standing in my door frame.