Jax angst

Chapter 3

(!This is the chapter where the actual angst starts so TW!)

Surprisingly enough it was Doll-face. She said that Caine told her to find me and that she heard my guitar and didn't know if it was me because she had never heard me play any sort of instrument. I just shrugged and put the guitar on my already messy bed. She said how I should keep my room more clean. I, again, just shrugged and told her to keep walking and shut up. I guess she didn't want to waste her oH sOs PrEcIoUs energy on me and stopped talking. When we got to the main area Caine just started asking me about where I was yesterday and why I skipped out on the adventures. I just told him his adventures suck. Caine was unbothered like always and just started talking about his new adventure. He was talking about how then we need to throw burning shopping carts in the air using the hot water we prepared before that when I started thinking about food. I just remembered that I haven't eaten in... uhhh... 6 years? I don't know anymore. I forgot about it because I couldn't even open my mouth to eat. I mean I have a gap in between my teeth but I don't know if I could even eat anything with that. When I snapped back Caine was talking about the risks of the adventure and I interrupted him to ask when we can eat. That's when Caine remembered that we now have to eat. Caine said that our head bubble chef can quickly make something simple for us to enjoy before the adventure. Everyone signed in relief, I guess they really didn't like the idea of that adventure. I mean I don't even know what we are supposed to do so I asked Doll-face. She explained the adventure to me and oh boy I'm glad that I said what I said. I'm probably going to ditch this adventure after breakfast. After like an hour of waiting Caine told us that the food was done. We are eating eggs and bacon, that's not that bad. I was barely able to eat anything. After 5 minutes of struggling to put food in my mouth and swallowing it, I got up and slammed the table with my hands leaving rather quickly. I held myself with my own arms while I was heading back. I had the worst possible stomach cramps. I guess Caine forgot to disclose that NOW WE CAN FEEL PAIN. When I got into my room I barely closed the door and when I did I just collapsed onto my knees and threw up. That was the worst feeling in the world. I'm never going to eat again if that's what's going to happen everytime. I hated that so much. I didn't even notice that I was starting to cry. Ugh, I still felt it in my throat. I curled up into a ball and started sobbing, quietly. This hasn't happened in a while. The last time I cried I... nevermind. I was crying for a while. I just hated that feeling so much. I stopped crying when I said to myself that instead of crying and being useless I should get some toilet paper and pick up the vomit. I was shaking, violently I may add. Because of that I barely got up to go to the bathroom. When I finally picked up all of the vomit I threw it all in the toilet. Since I was still in the bathroom I looked in the mirror. Even an idiot could tell by my eyes that I've been crying. I splashed my face with some water and went to lie in bed for a bit. While I was lying in bed all I could think about was the vomit, the smell, the look, the feel, I hated everything about it. I wanted to try and get some sleep so my eyes would return to normal but it was hard. Thinking about something as disgusting as vomit doesn't help either. So I took my guitar and started playing a simple melody that anyone could memorize very quickly. After a minute of playing the guitar, I felt better so I decided to lie down in bed again. I put my guitar against the many drawers of "Jax the Rabbit" and went back to bed. I fell asleep rather quickly. I haven't slept in a long time so it makes sense.

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