Lizzie sat,staring the dirty mossy looking tomb/grave. She took out her hankerchief and wiped her late husband's grave.
A small smile made it to her lips while a tear already trickled down her face.
She traced his name on tomb with her fingers softly.
"Hey babe. I hope you are listening to me and watching your silly wife from the sky" she slightly chuckled with broken voice.
Joel, who was indeed watching her from above, smiled at how she was trying to hide her pain.
"Look... I-I'm doing great alright...." she trailed off.
Joel's soul hurt as he knew that she was lying. Just trying to convince him that not to worry about her.
"please don't worry about me okay? Look. God I miss your voice, your touch, hugs, kisses, silly Antics to make me smile....dad jokes. Fucking everything. I miss you. But I figured that I can't do anything about it. The only thing I can do is grieve. The moment I knew you would never come back, I fucking lost myself. I am never the same lizzie anymore babe. Without you I'm nothing. Never as good as I was. If you were here right now, you would boost up my confidence... Caress me. When I realised I don't have you... I died from inside. And I die everyday. A death that I lived." lizzie took a break and looked up at the sky and smiled.
Joel just sadly smiled. He could almost feel how lizzie feels. He never imagined him like this. Never imagined her like this. It was all unexpected.
"oh lizzie how I wish I was here.... To tell you that all is OK. You'll be fine. You're my strong girl. I know you'll be fine" Joel whispered which was none heard.
"oh how I wish it was me who would've died instead of you. How I wish I would've have done something instead of just standing there doing nothing...." she began softly sobbing.
"I just wanted you to know.... That babe you're the best....." lizzie said wiping her tears.
"Maybe I never told you this but you were the best husband ever. And I will always love you. I still love you. And I'll never forget about you" she said, smiling a little.
"I will always watch over you my Lizzie. I am always there" Joel said.
"please be my personal guardian angel Mr. Hubby" she said trying to laugh but failed miserably.
"I will babe" he smiled.
"maybe you aren't hearing this but I love you joel"
"I know you'll never hear me...but I love you too babe"
****
Lizzie tried living her life and getting back to normal, making minecraft videos and spend time with meri.
But she failed terribly. Everytime she logged into minecraft sge remembered JOEL and her.
EVerytime she walked past Joel's filming room she felt his once remaining presence.
Their bedroom was the worst. She couldn't even stay in there. Memories of her and Joel cuddling and watching TV came up.
The house itself was coming to bite lizzie alone. She couldn't live here. Where Joel once lived. She craved his voice.
She craved listening to her name from his mouth.
Lizzie tried staying with scott for some days. No offence he treated her so warmly and nicely that she actually felt at home and good for sometime.
But she couldn't stay at his forever. Despite of scott arguing to not let her go, she came back.
She had no motivation for living. Lizzie felt as if the world's coming after her.
But she did live somehow. For Joel.
Not a single day spent. Not a single day of her not visiting Joel's grave. She talked out with him. That's how she felt like living.
She had a feeling that Joel did watch her from above. Everyday she said ily to him. And she wasn't wrong.
Joel saw lizzie slowly turn old but it always made him smile how she never really gave up on coming to his grave and talk for hours even tho it gave her weird looks from people.
Lizzie just relyed on Minecraft and her friend and family. At first her content wasn't the best. Not much fun. But she got the grip when her friends made her laugh and then her old sarcastic, funny happy go lucky girl came back which made her friends so happy.
Well now she did became extra protective of Meri. And the dog actually was old but never left her side. It was one of the reason lizzie is herself right now.
She never forgot about joel. She could never.
And so she died at the age of just 56 due to health problems and her not wanting to live, leaving no hopes of her living.
Lizzie finally met JOEL after all this dreadful years. And it was the happiest moment for both.
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