Sacrilege |H. S.|

20. acts of misery

The only way I can describe the morning after is cold.

From the moment I wake up, the overly large windows emanate the low temperature condensation from outside, the nippiness settling into my bones even though the only part of me uncovered by the thick blankets is my head. The colour threatening to make itself known beyond the heavy curtains makes it evident it's well into the morning. I moan a little at the stiffness of my bones, tensing and cracking as I stretch to rub around my eyes.

I am the sole occupant of the bed, and the room seems so spotless I almost think I dreamt up last nights activities with Harry but I couldn't have, the soreness between my thighs is a dead give away. That and I'm sure I could sleep a thousand nights and still I wouldn't have been able to dream something like that up.

He's lit a candle somewhere, the room smells of eucalyptus and mint and overall freshness, burning away any remaining stench of sex that could've possibly been left behind. I'm kind of aching all over, yet still I have no desire to be found by Cora when I'm sure my thighs are still slick and my skin smells like him. He must've gone to his room to do the same, freshen up, which is fine because it's not like I need the reassurance of his presence to be able to go on with my day.

I shower with the warmest the water will go, sure to scrub myself clean and happy to find that whatever damage he must've done to my neck had been erased by himself, or rather the blood I'd still had in my system last night. I feel somehow... lighter, easier to be around myself. Naturally, I'm in a much better mood than I'd been in the last few months, that's what a good shag will do to you.

I am washed and dressed and ready to finally have a real meal when there's a knock on my door, and an unwilling smile comes to my face at the thought of who could be behind it. I try not to look too disappointed when Dana steps inside, her usual stoic expression glaring into me.

"You're up already. Good." She nods, leaving the door open. "You'll have breakfast and then I'll be escorting you to the councils library, it's better than the other one, I guess. Harry said you'd enjoy it."

"Oh, right. So I won't be training with him today?" I make an attempt at saying this as casual as possible, looking elsewhere as if the lining of pillows on the sofa was something I'd never seen before.

"No, he's left this morning, that's why I'll be your new shadow for the next couple of weeks." The hands that had been braiding back my hair suddenly stop, and I can feel the tendrils unraveling themselves at the back of my head, my face unwillingly scrunching into confusion and some stagnant jolt of hurt. "Didn't he tell you?"

"He said he was leaving, he didn't say when." I lie, even though I have no reason to. Dana is, by a long stretch of the word, a friend.

I may not have a reason to lie, but the stark humiliation that swarms my mind is a justification all on its own. He's gone? He's left? After what happened last night?

Scratch that, he left, that's it. The rational side of me forces me to overlook the painful detail of he left after what happened last night, because there's no use to it. I'm not some teenager getting dumped by the boy with a skateboard. I can deal with this. It's just the initial shock that's discomforting.

"Well, with Alastair of course. Strange that he didn't tell you, he's known for weeks that he would be there for the werewolf interrogation. Not typical of him to explain stuff, though. So it's whatever." She shrugs with a carefree eyeroll, turning to head to the door. "You ready?"

Now this, this changes things. I can feel the anger settling in before she's even done talking. A silent rage chokes back anything I could've said, so instead I simply follow her, falling a few steps behind because my reeling mind makes it hard to walk at her quick pace.