Their Side Of The Story

Prisoner: 9810C7 Crime: Snatcher

AN: The spelling and grammatical errors in this piece are (largely) deliberate. As Prof. Henry Higgins asked in "My Fair Lady", Why Can't The English Teach Their Children How To Speak?

My Offender Rehabilitation Liaison Officer told me to rite this. I got her job off a little card she give me so thats why i no how to spell it. She said writin wood do somefink but she started spoutin loads of big words what went strait over me head to be honest. Somefink about aknolijin me past and explorin me hopes and desires. She was wearin a short skirt so the last bit was easy even thow i coodnt tell her cos of the guards bein there.

One of the uver blokes in here he put me on to the skeme. He said most of the officers was women so you get to see a bit of totty evry now and then and if you tick all the rite boxes you can get a few weeks off your sentence.

Im not that bovvered about the last bit. Azkaban aint so bad. Bit like school really. Theres lots of stone walls but its dry and they feed you three times a day and tell you what to do. If you keeps your head down and your nose clean you gets by.

My Officer Miss Pugh says if i do well then theyll try and get me a job for when im out. Well see. I rekon prisons better than a job. Ill have to work like a house elf to get a bit of money then ill have to spend it all on food and livin some where. I get that for free now but i spose outside i can buy a bit of booze evry now and then. You dont get none in here.

You dont get no dementors any more eiver. I never liked them cos they make you see all your bad memries and there the only ones ive got. There the only fings what scare me and i new greyback. He was a nutter but he never come near us. We told him strait we said if he tutches any one of us the restll kill him. Made a sort of pact we did to keep ourselfs safe.

So i got a year of easy livin left before they throw me out of here. Two years i got for bein a snatcher. They said all fings about me at the trial how i was a disgrace to wizards and how i shood be ashamed of what i done but they never told me what i cood have done instead. People like me don't get choices we just try and get threw the day as best we can.

Miss Pugh says she feels sorry for me cos i never had a chance. Dunno. Maybe if id been born posh i might have been some one. Maybe. Spose mum and dad never did much for me cos they both liked a drink and he was always gettin in trouble so i aint the first to spend time here. Like a bit of a family tradition you might say.

I went off to school but i dunno if it done me much good. Got some nice cloves thow. Robes and trowsers and that. Some old woman brawt them round one time with some books. Mum sold most of them so she cood go on a spree. I got given me granddads old wand and i fink dad nicked evrifin else i needed. I asked him where it all come from but he said ask me no questions and ill tell you no lies.

I got put in hufflepuff cos the hat said it coodnt work out where else id fit in. I didnt go home much I fink mum and dad liked that cos it was one less mouth to feed. Hufflepuff was alrite. Old sprout use to measure me up a couple of times a year and give me new cloves if i was growin but non of the rest seemed to like me. I cood never work out what school was about so i got in truble a lot.

I got two owls at a so they woodnt let me stay on so i left. I had a few jobs but the pay wasnt any good so i didnt bovver in the end. Thievin was easier.

Look i aint an animal like greyback is. I no stealins rong but if you only take stuff from people hoov got more than they can use i cant see it does no harm. If the shops and that i worked in had give me a decent wage i woodve bawt stuff but they never did so i had no choice. I gotta live like evryone else.

Then this job come up. A mate of mine told me about it. He said it was a proper job and id be workin for the ministry catchin mud bloods and that what had broken the law and gone on the run.

Miss Pugh says i have to call them muggles now but i dont see what diffrence it makes. A words a word i rekon it dont make them somefink else.

I got nuffink against mud muggles. They aint ever treated me worse than some of them purebloods wiv all there money and fancy ways but a jobs a job and it was good money. We got told theyd turn a blind eye if we wanted to do a bit of work on the side as well as long as we werent caught red handed. If you done alrite you cood get on to. Some of the lads got made death eaters and they was promised theyd get big houses and house elfs and all sorts eventuly. Maybe i shood of done it. You get a longer sentence if youve got the mark thow the guards dont treat you as good.

Most of the time it was alrite. We was just pickin up kids what had run away from school. Dunno if i fink that shood be a crime but i did what i was told. They didnt put up much of a struggle so weed take them to the ministry and get given some money and go off and enjoy ourselfs.

We got pretty good after a wile we cood sniff out the ones what lied. Only one of them got away from us and thats why i got two years. Turned out it was a mate of harry potter so it wernt smart of us to make an enemy of him.

Some times we went after grown ups. That was easier cos we was told theyd stolen stuff so they was real criminals. Most of them had stolen magic off proper wizards and thats why you get squibs. I fort that was rong. I never nicked stuff what people needed like there magic only stuff like food and money they had plenty of.

After the war i found out the bosses was lyin and these people hadn't nicked nuffink and they was just muggles what was tryin to get away so they woodnt get sent here for not bein proper wizards. It happens. Lifes crap unless your wiv the bosses. Us little people just get used..

Mind you the ones what was with greyback when they give potter and his frends to the malfoys really got it in the neck and the guards treat them like dirt. I spose thats what happens when you upset a hero and i rekon theyll be lucky to get out of here alive. Turns out winners can turn a blind eye when they want as well. Scabior got took to the hospital a couple of weeks ago cos he fell down the stairs they said. No one saw it and you woodnt say nuffink even if you did. Dangerous places stairs in Azkaban and you cant take on all the guards by yourself so you keep your head down and your nose clean.

Greybacks in a cage wiv iron bars and evrifink. They chuck lumps of raw meat to him threw a trapdoor in the roof and hes bin told hell never get out cos he aint safe to be wiv humans. You can hear him owlin when the moons full so there probly rite.

Miss Pugh says i shood fink about me future and what i want to do when i get out. What id like is to be sent away some where. I fink id like to live on an island where i can grow me own food and maybe catch some fish and not have to worry about no one else. Ive only ever took what i needed and i dont need much and i cood make me own booze. Some time i fink about that at night and i like that. Some times it even makes me feel happy and i fink that maybe Miss Pugh wood come with me but she probly woodnt cos shes got a good job and shes probably got a boyfriend wholl give her a big house.

She wont be interested in me cos im just one of the little people and i no it. No one will find me an island to live on cos itll be to much truble for them and if i find one for meself itll probly be owned by some one big who dont want me there.

So i dunno what im gonna do when i get out. I dont fink Miss Pugh is rite. I cant see that any one will give me a job exept for somefink like sweepin. Rekon ill end up goin back to thievin after a while and if it all gets to much ill get meself caught and sent back here. Well all be dead in the end so it dont make no diffrence.