A Dead Man's Return

VI. Morbid

"Maybe back then when I first met her. But she's always been me and Suguru's older sister."

Yuji nodded his head, as he scratched his chin in thought. Another name popped into his mind. "Nanamin told me about this woman you annoy named Utahime, a teacher over at the sister school. What about her? She's strong I bet."

Gojo froze, quickly shaking his head and laughing. "I think that woman hates me, but I suppose I deserve it. Me and her would get into a whole lot of arguments last year, so much so that the first years then thought we were married. Funny huh?" Itadori snickered, the latter continuing. "I don't really talk about my feelings much... but since you're curious, I wouldn't mind if we went out sometime. She's very mature and grounded, also puts up with my antics most of the time. I don't see it going past that, however. I don't think she'd be able to handle me in the long run... nor would she be happy with me. To be honest... I don't think anyone would be." Satoru cracked his knuckles, exhaling and trying his best to keep his smile up. "Who am I kidding? Any woman would kill to have me."

Itadori, although he couldn't see his sensei's eyes, knew that there were some underlying feelings that Gojo was hiding behind his previous words. He reminisced on what Nanami told him and Kugisaki back during the car ride to Kinema Cinema. "You know Sensei, being away from everyone for so long made me realize something really important."

Gojo's head turned to his student, as they maneuvered their way through the field amidst the darkness of the night. "What's that?"

"Being alone sucks."

Gojo turned back towards what was in front of him, as he stared at the grass and exhaled. "You're right Yuji. It does."

"But I also realized now that there are people who care about me. I'm not alone. It might feel like I am sometimes, but I'm not." Itadori said quietly, marveling at the stars that were so vivid and clear in the night sky. "Well I guess I'm never alone because of Sukuna but... the point I'm trying to make is that you aren't alone either Sensei."

"I'm not desperate for love Yuji. And if this is about Suguru... I moved on. There's no point in emotional attatchments, especially as a sorcerer. Not to mention the loneliness that comes with being the strongest... there just isn't a point." Gojo stated with his hands stuffed in his pockets, his eyes heavy and his heart emotionless. "I'm gonna tell you a secret."

"Sure." Itadori replied, glancing at his white haired teacher's opaque sunglasses that went along with his uniform. They continued to stroll as they neared their destination, already in eyeshot.

"Being a sorcerer means being void of emotion. I learned that the hard way. You witness the people you love die... not only on the outside. Do you know how many sorcerers have deserted Jujutsu Society or have become evil? Suguru wasn't the first one, and I'm not even sure if he was the worst. We as sorcerers die internally as much as our bodies are killed." The pair arrived at the dorm building for the faculty members, as they stood outside its brown doors, Gojo's hand on the door knob.

Itadori thought about his two friends.

Then he thought about Kugisaki and what had happened the last two months. If the roles were reversed, how would he feel? If she were to suddenly die tonight, how would he react? Would he lose a part of himself like Gojo had? He didn't know her nearly as long or as well as Satoru had Suguru, but it was still a question he had to think long and a hard about. He couldn't come up with a definitive answer, which kind of scared him.

Gojo continued,

"I've witnessed these two things first hand with past students that have graduated from this school. I've seen it in my own life. I've seen it in the lives of people I grew up with. The saddest part is, you'll see it too Yuji. I wish you didn't have to, but you will. I'm trying my best to prepare you. I hope that it isn't only you that become stronger than me, but Nobara and Megumi too. The second years– even those that'll come after you. But I can't guarantee it."