INK AND INSIGHTS

they were just kids [draco malfoy]

Astrid - I love reading stories where the main character has a personality of her own rather than just being a reflection of what other characters want from her. Astrid is strong willed, opinionated, funny and awkward but not to the extent that it seems pretentious and she has a very sound narrative that keeps the reader hooked to the story. I can see you are foreshadowing to her origin from the very beginning of the book and that makes me very excited to find out what is her big secret that even she doesn't know.

Eric - Dad of the year award, am I right? I have this weird feeling that our poor dear Eric is going to die because he's just so nice and in the world of fanfiction, all nice characters meet awful ends (I hope it's not true though, I don't want Eric to die but as a writer, I totally would have killed him too just to play with the readers' emotions). Also, it is so rare to read about good fathers in fanfics so I am really glad you wrote Eric this way. True he has some skeletons in the closet but I await the moment all those secrets will be brought to light.

Draco - To be honest, we haven't seen depth in Draco through the original books because they are from Harry's perspective which is sometimes very biased. It's good to see him in a fresh light and not just the Oh Draco is actually a very sweet little boy kind of thing but it's more true to how he should be like: an entitled and arrogant teenager who has a life outside of just pissing off Potter and his friends.

The other characters you have added such as Maggie, Tracey, and Daphne are also very well written. I loved seeing how you gave more depth to Millicent and Blaise as we don't see them much often in the canon books and movies. Daphne is a very interesting person and I kinda relate with her personality as there are people like her in real life. All in all, a 10/10 on writing your characters and giving them very intriguing dynamics.

4. Character Development:

I have yet to get to the end of the story so there's not much for me to talk about here. But there were a few instances I noticed in the book such as Maggie's fierce protectiveness over Astrid that wasn't there in the beginning because she was a Halfblood and being surrounded by pureblood supremacists, Maggie's initial response to Astrid was quite expected. But I love seeing her warm up to our main character eventually. I am also loving the teeny tiny bits of Draco and Astrid slowly noticing each other especially in fourth year. And I am sure I will see much more in the upcoming chapters.

5. Dialogue and Delivery:

Your dialogues are so fun to read that I make sure I am alone when I am reading it or else I will crack up in laughter every minute and it will disturb the rest of my family members. We can really tell which character is speaking because they all have their ways of speech as Daphne talks with a posh flair, Tracey has that know-it-all air about her words and Blaise is an adorable cinnamon roll. 

6. Character Chemistry:

Draco and Astrid - Currently, they give off the enemies to lovers or rivals to lovers trope but since they are young, I am glad the story focuses more on their banters rather than hinting at anything just yet. They are both easily irritable, sassy and smart which makes me think they will be a good match in the future. 

Astrid and Mike - Now I know for sure that Astrid has a slight crush on Mike but there's no indication about what Mike feels in all that I have read so far. But these characters do have potential and Mike could very well be the person Draco should be wary of in the future. Or maybe I am just reading too much into it, correct me if I am wrong (or don't, I would like to continue without any spoilers).

Daphne and Blaise - Now here's one potential couple that I am rooting for. I love Daphne and Blaise's opposite personalities and how they just complement each other. They already have good chemistry and with Daph getting closer to Blaise's Mum, I have hope that they will turn out to be the first OTP of this story.

7. Plot and Story Themes:

This story is an alternate take on canon, a change of narration as we see things from Draco and Astrid's perspective. Since the original HP books are from Harry's point of view, we don't see much about the other Houses and how they were experiencing things through the timeline. You have used that opportunity very well to retell the story through the Slytherins' perspective. Also, Astrid's addition to the plot and her hinted connection to the Dark Lord make up for an interesting change in canon that I am quite excited to read about. I love it that this is not just a love story but focuses on a plot aside from the two main characters falling in love. Keep it up and I wish you all the best for your future writing endeavors!

8. Writing Style:

Your writing style is fun and quirky in a way that it kept me up late at night, hiding in my blanket to stifle my laughter while everyone else was asleep. All the pranks Astrid comes up with are so fun and I am just in love with her sense of humor. It has made the story more fun to read and even though I am in just the first book right now, I know the other two are going to be even better.

9. Areas of Improvement:

I was so focused on the story and reading about what mischiefs Astrid would get to that I didn't notice any areas of improvement. One thing I would point out though is that the tone of your story is fitting for a book featuring students from first year to fourth year. I think the plot would get more serious from Year 5 onwards and there would be changes in the overall tone of the story then. For now, it's a lighthearted and fun read which is definitely a plus point.

10. My Personal Opinion or Ideas:

I have songs to recommend, as always. The following songs make me think about your story and the characters.

Song Recommendations:

The Nights by Avicii for the extended Slytherin friends group.

Reckless Driving by Lizzy McAlpine and Never Done This by twocolors for Astrid.

High Hopes by Pan!c at the Disco and 8 Letters by Why Don't We for Draco.

Feel Something by Joshua Bassett and Skinny Dipping by Sabrina Carpenter for Draco and Astrid.

11. Concluding Remarks:

In conclusion, I have enjoyed reading your story so far. I am so excited to see how it goes in the later chapters and have high expectations based on what I have read. Keep up the good job and I am so glad I got to add another good Draco Malfoy fanfic to my list. Like I said, it's very hard to finds fics on him that aren't cliché or too over the top, yours was a great read and if any Draco fans are reading this review, make sure to check this story out. It is worth everything.

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waddupitsjo your entry form response was very insightful in helping me get a clear idea of your story before reading it. I had fun reading your submission and the story itself (that I am still in the middle of) and I look forward to reading the second book then uploading its review too. 

I hope you found my review helpful and I would be obliged if you take out the time to fill a short feedback form.

Link to the form that I'll also add in the comments section: https://forms.gle/AfUdLCWXkEtR4JyU6

Have a great day and stay blessed.