𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐏𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐝 | 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐥 𝐆𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬

𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐲-𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

I sigh, my shoulders sinking with relief as Kareem grabs Rick's shirt collar and helps him inside— by dragging him— dropping him on the ground before rushing forward and snatching my arm to yank me back in.

We're fucked.

The growls of the dead and the banging of their fists brings attention, it brings people to the gates— those who are left. That and Rick going to each door to bring everyone together, huddled around and muttering to one another about the current events we're going through.

A soft hand slips in mine, locking fingers, but because my mind is somewhere in the clouds, I don't notice it, not until a sort of warmth roasts the palm of my hand. Next to me, with a boyish but anxious smile, is my best friend. I sigh, snatching my hand out from his before searching the mass of people for her.

"I saw you and Enid the other night... on the guarding tower." I reveal, surprisingly calm. "Ron, too. Uh.. we saw her holding your hand— not like you moved away or anything."

"Kendall.." Carl whispers. "It.. It wasn't.."

"Like that?" I finished for him, quirking a brow. "If you really believe that." I shrug. "I just wanna make this clear only once. I need you to just.. be my best friend again. You can't figure out what you want so I'll figure it out for you." I say nodding sadly. "Glenn is my priority right now.. Daryl is, not how I feel."

"It really wasn't like that. I promise."

"You can't promise me that.."

"You can hear it." Rick says, interrupting the words that were nearly slipping from the tongue of his son's mouth; this allows me to slip away from the grasps of Carl's unsaid words. "Some of you saw it. They got back here, half of them." The focus I had on his son had now shifted onto him.
"Still enough to surround us twenty deep. Look.. I know you're scared. You haven't seen anything like this. You haven't been through anything like this. But we're safe for now."

An overwhelming feeling of doubt for this situation, and it having a satisfying ending for us who remain, outpaces the feeling of revulsion settling within my gut; as bodies of the dead continue slamming against the wall, causing me to quiver with vibrations because of it, the revulsion builds. And all of the hope from early crumbled into dust.

I tched pushing myself off the wall. "Fuck this." I mutter, walking away and ignoring their looks of judgement.

At the edge of the pond, watching ripples, caused by winds, whip across the water, I frown. It becomes much more interesting than what was happening now; my stress, and my anger, every ounce, drained from me completely as the breeze continued to kiss my skin with compassion.

And just like that, that relaxation— relief is ripped right under me.

"Kendall.. need a shoulder?" Says the boy next door, sitting beside me.

"Need Glenn."

Bumping his shoulder against mine, Ron tells me, "Glenn's gonna be fine."

"I wish people would stop saying that." I say dejectedly while laughing dryly. "He could be dead, nobody knows.. we won't know anything, not until he's standing in front of me again."

"And.. what about Carl?" Ron hesitated to ask with a frown, similar to mine, tugging on his lips. "You've been through so much together."

"Hah." I huff out, rolling my eyes. "I wish he understood that, maybe he'd respect me more." As soon as the words left my lips I remembered that Carl wasn't the only one involved in what happened. "Sorry." I say in a murmur.

"It's okay." He sighs. "I mean, Enid and I didn't go through what you and him went through."

I nod, exhaling before chuckling, finding our situation slightly amusing. "I.. I can't believe this is happening to me, again." I huff a laugh, messaging my temples. "It's fucking ridiculous. Is it me? Is the world against me or something?"

Ron scoffs, scooting closer and wrapping an arm around me; I do need his shoulder. "It's not you or the world, it's the people."

"Thank you, Ron. I needed this." I mutter, leaning away from him. "And.. thanks for being my friend. Now, are you enough of a good friend to walk me home?"

"Yeah.." He groans, standing and holding his hand out toward me. Ron pulls me up from the ground with a simple tug. "Let's go." Lifting our joined hands and slightly shaking them, I nod at him appreciatively before releasing his hand.

The reflection staring at me gives me deja vu, but something was off, something was different about this image— my image. A frown buried on my lips, darkened circles underneath my eyes, and somehow paling skin. The reflection is ruined, it's dreadful, it disgusts me. I digust me.

Behind the reflection are shelves, those of which were nearly empty; but through the emptiness, I find exactly what I wanted. A singular bottle of pills.

Methadone. It reads.

Sighing reluctantly, I twist open the bottle and rattle until three pills land in the palm of my hand. The reflection stares at me in distaste, pushing me further; with one last glance at myself, I shut on cold water and pop the pills into my mouth, gulping it all down.

This is my first mistake and it isn't my last.

Happy Holidays my loves!!

Apologies for the late and short chapter. I hope you can appreciate this chapter and the future chapters that'll be coming soon enough.

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