⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ To live for the hope of it all ˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚fourteen˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

I was already so anxious to go to see this therapist to the point I felt sick, however the feeling gave me an idea. 𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘪𝘧 𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘦𝘸 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦? If I was quick enough I would make it before it was digested. My hands were shaking as I quickly googled 'how to make yourself throw up', the top answer being to stick two fingers down your throat. I ran myself over to the toilet and rushed to put the seat up before sticking my fingers down the throat, begging that it would make something happen. After a small while, I did it, the food inside of me was now what I looked down at in the toilet. I flushed it all away and went to brush my teeth, getting rid of the sick taste in my mouth, another thing which people online had said to do. There was once again an empty feeling in my stomach, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥.

★

"You ready to go El?" Taylor asks as she walked past my door which was open. "Yep I'll meet you downstairs in just a second." I tell her before jumping up and going into my closet to grab some shoes. I picked up the first pair I saw, my converse and pulled them on. Before I left my room, I went into my bathroom and picked up one of the blades I had left hidden in a drawer and placed it into my phone case. I sighed with relief knowing that soon enough I could relapse and feel better, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘴𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦.

Taylors pov:

Ella ran into the living room, her phone in one hand. "You ready to go? The driver is outside." I say, grabbing my keys off of the table and looking back at Ella who was now nodding. We both headed to the front door, and through the small windows of the entrance you could see huge crowds which were growing by the second. Why now? Ella's eyes had a fearful look in them which caused my to grab her hand and give it a small squeeze. "You okay?" I ask her to which she hesitantly nods at, but I knew it wasn't true. I gave the security guard who was stood ready to open the door a nod, causing him to unlock and pull open my front door. The crowds of crazy fans screamed as a pulled Ella with me towards the car. I pushed the young girl infront of me so that she could climb in first before following her closely into the back seats of my driver's car. Both me and Ella pulled our seatbelts on and the car began driving, following the path in which the satnav said to go.

★

The  car ride to the office was spent with me reassuring Ella who was sat bouncing her knee and digging her nails into her palms. "Right it's this building right here." The driver told us. We both thanked him before I opened the door and me and Ella both hurried inside. "Good afternoon, how may I help you today." The receptionist asked as we walked through the door and into what seemed the waiting area. "Hi! We are here for an appointment with Amy, this is Ella." I tell her, now reaching the desk she sat at and keeping my hand tightly around Ella's. "Yep I can see that in the system! She should be out with you in the next few minutes, take a seat while you wait please." The woman says with a smile before looking back down at her computer. We both walked over to one of the grey couches in the room and sat down next to eachother. The two of us didn't say a word to eachother, both being hit with anxiety as we waited. 

"Ella. Can Ella and her guardian come to me please!" A brown haired woman said as she walked into the waiting room. We both stood up and I grabbed Ella's hand, dragging her over to the woman who stood smiling. "Just this way!" She says, taking us a few doors down a small corridor which had mental health posters covering the walls. The woman lead us through the door and into the room which was labelled as 'Dr Amy' and closed the door behind us. She took a seat on a spiny chair and pointed to the blue couch where me and Ella were to sit. "Hi guys, I'm Amy! Nice to meet you both." She says with a smile as she grabbed a folder out of her drawer. "Nice to meet you, I'm Taylor and this is Ella." I tell her, looking back at Ella who sat with her head down bouncing her knee. "So I want to have a quick talk with the both of you first, just to get more of an idea of what we are looking for help for. Then afterwards would it be alright if you could leave so I could have some one-on-one time with Ella?" Amy asks, directing the conversation to me. I nod with a smile, already expecting to be kicked out of the office. "Great! I've already got a small idea of why you have brought Ella in, but could you explain it to me some more?" Amy asks, quickly reading over what she had infront of her then lookin back up at me. "Em, Ella has been struggling with self harm and after some events the other day, she said that she did want the help to stop. However I didn't really know how to help her myself so we decided that therapy would be the best option. She's also been through a lot in her childhood, loosing her parents, ending up in a orphanage and really I think therapy will be helpful." I say, letting Ella take hold of my hand so she stopped picking the skin around her fingers. Amy had nodded along while I talked, making notes. "Yep! I also agree that therapy could be a good course of action." She says, finishing whatever she was writing.