LF Friends, Will Travel

Santa is a Deathworlder

Because a Teran is Chaos. A Terran is free.

With a deep booming voice, Steven began to decree.

"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good cheer.

Happy holidays to all, to a fantastic new year.

I'm Santa from Earth, I've travelled so far

To bring good tidings and presents, to every star.

I bring candies and gadgets, wishes galore.

Come closer little children, to see what's in store."

With eager excitement, the crowd pushed up quite tight.

Their faces were filled with anticipating delight.

Steven reached into his bag, with flourish and glee

While the children awaited the show, what could it be?

"See what I have, see what I've got in store.

Candies and sweets, treats and nibbles galore!

This is called chocolate, a popular delight,

A perfect companion to a chill winters night"

With a panic and worry, I stepped in between,

Stopping the gifting, it must seem quite mean.

"You can't give that out, you know what it contains?

Chocolate is deadly, it carries thromboxane."

"Don't worry my helper" Said without thinking twice

"I've also got sweet chilli crackers, a savoury spice."

"Capsaicins a no go, that's one everyone knows

Is there anything not poison in the things that you've chose?"

Steven took a moment to root through his dangerous haul.

"I've got some sugar-free gum, no wait that's got xylitol...

I've got an old classic, a mint candy cane."

"Mint is still poison!" I simply exclaim.

"I've got cheese!", he added, with a flourish grandiose.

"Technically not poison, but they can't handle lactose..."

The children were confused, getting rowdy and sad

Treats and candy had been promised, but none had been had.

But Terrans never quit, they never do stumble

Steven simply continued from his poisonous fumble.

"It's not just treats that I bring, let it be understood

I've got toys from Earth, from my childhood

This is called 'lawn darts', a most wondrous game.

You throw metal spears with the most unruly of aim.

It started out as a weapon, but now it's a toy,

For all the small children to love and enjoy."