Safe Or Not

7

Buck's point of view

a week later.

"Ok lets go before they change their mind, I hate it here." I say grabbing my things as I am being sprung from the hospital. "Ok Buck, are you sure they said it would be better if you stayed another four or five days." Bobby says looking at me with pleading eyes, I just roll my eyes and sigh. "The first time this arm was shattered I was forced to sign ama forms leaving on day two, I have been here way to long." I say grabbing my bag in my only working arm at the moment. 

"Plus I start my stupid desk job next week Bobby." I say as we walk out of the room, I see my daughter running towards me. "Daddy!" She yells out running into my legs as I smile giving her a hug. "Hey baby girl how are you today." I ask her squatting to her height still hugging her. "Aunt Hen and Uncle Chimney are funny." I smile giving her a kiss on her head not wanting to let go of her. "That's good Hen, I love you so much." I say giving her one last hug, then attempting to grab Hayden. 

"Well this is just great." I groan trying to grab Hayden and not being able to. "It's ok Buck I got him lets get you home." I throw my head back frustrated, that I am 38 and having to have people help me. "I can't even hold my child it's not ok." I say grabbing Hen's hand and walking out to the car.

Another week later.

"Fuck, this hurts." I whisper to myself refusing to take the pain meds the hospital gave me, I don't want or need them. I get a call from Bobby and I pick up rolling my eyes.  "How are you doing Buck?" He asks me as I put Hayden down. "I am fine Bobby, I feed him and changed him and I feed me and Hen."

"Ok good Carla gonna watch the kids tonight me, you and the team are going out tonight for team building." I raise my eyebrow confused as I am not on the team. "Bobby I'm not on the team, I mean I haven't been on an engine in almost 6 years." I hear Bobby scuff and you can hear someone in the background groan. "You will always be on our team Buck, ok so get dressed Carla will be there in an hour and Eddie will be there to pick you up in 45 minutes." I shake my head not wanting to. "I don't have a choice in this do I?" I ask getting a laugh from Bobby and I knew there that was a no. "Nope."

I decide to put Hen to bed now since it was only an hour early and Carla shouldn't have to deal with that. I get dressed in a button up as that is the easiest thing to put on.

"Hey Carla, sorry their making you do this, trust me I didn't get a choice." I say looking at Eddie who smirks at me. "Child it is fine, your kids are so well behaved it weird where is Hen?" Carla asks me as I shrug. "I put her to bed to make it easier for you." I say grabbing my keys and sweater, that is really hard to put on. "There's left overs in the fridge, and formula in the cabinet and-" I get cut off by Carla who scuffs at me. "Go have fun, I got your kids they are safe with me."  I sigh and follow Eddie out of the house.

"Come on Buck were going clubbing 118 style." I roll my eyes at him confused why Bobby sent him instead of picking me up. "I hear you thinking, we know that you don't want people flirting with you so he's hoping if we walk in together it will keep people off of you." I groan at the thought of ever even kissing someone again. "Yeah I don't plan on doing the whole dating thing, ever and even if I wanted to I would never be able to get married anyway." I tell him he gives me a confused look. "What do you mean Buck?"

"I'm legally married to him, and I don't plan on divorce." I say simply, I am having an easier time talking about feeling but still meh. "Oh so he made you get married?" I nod my head, I don't have the heart to tell him that I think I still love Shaun. "I'm sorry Buck." I look at him confused, why is he saying sorry?

"For what Eddie?" I look at him who has a tear rolling down my cheek. "For making you introduce yourself to him, I'm sorry that I made you go for it." My heart breaks for him, why would he blame himself he wasn't the one who hit me. "Eddie no don't put my broken ass on yourself, ok I'll be fine one day or at least broken and happy." I say as we pull up to the club but not letting him out of the car. "Buck you are not broken!" I shake my head and smile at him and put my hand on his. "I'm pretty broken but it's ok, I will be fine lets go do this." I tell him getting out of the car, he puts on a fake smile.