𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 - 𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐝

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫

trents pov:

fuck, was all i could think when i woke up, spread across my own bed. fuck was life. the fuck happened in the past twenty four hours.

last night when i caught olivia cheating on me, it trigged something well in me, pure anger. but it was overpowered by fear and panic when i saw the state of my face and the rough condition she had left me in.

a raw slap was thrown at my face leaving a red mark, nails indents tattooed my arm and all around my jaw, it was awful. and all of it together ignited a massive panic attack to spiral within me.

i had to think fast, but my brain wasn't in the right state to do that. it wasn't in the right state to make good and correct choices. nor responsible ones either. when your anxiety levels are that high, you think so rationally, like me. and i dialed the first person who sprung to mind, sienna.

she worked her magic and calmed me down, in the end putting a little smile on my face knowing she wasn't upset with me, i dont think?

if im honest, i knew she knew it wasn't me who broke up with her, when she told me she knew it didn't shock me. i mean, technically i did break up with her but it was against my will.

it was either me shatter siennas heart and my own, or have sienna literally be shattered and hurt. so when you lay it out like that, the answers pretty god damn obvious. i didnt want to do it but, i knew as soon as olivia said those words, she meant it. she'd do it. she'd harm sienna.

and it's simple, i couldnt let her do that. i care far more for sienna than i do myself. i couldn't bare to live with myself, if she did get hurt. id rather me just take it all. id rather me getting hurt and abused than her.

once i got off the phone with sienna, i took the old run down motor and drove it down to my place. i couldn't stay at olivias place, knowing that that filthy man would be in her bed. plus her couch of concrete is not so comfy, ive learnt the hard way.

one time, i got back from a little night out with some of the england boys and came back just a tad bit late. too late for olivias liking and i kind of set myself up, i should've known she'd have gone off her rocker, and oh boy did she.

she came marching out her room, obviously very drunk, her eyes were droopy and red, and she was wearing nothing but her lingerie, indicating she may have been patiently waiting for me to arrive home so she could 'suprise me'

she charged at me, a fairly rapid pace, screaming at me whilst at it. cursing my name whilst crying whilst laughing, having the brattiest act on. and before i knew it she'd slammed my head right against her hard wooden couch.

i shouted aloud in pain, instantly collapsing to the ground holding my bleeding head, she continued to kick me with her bony feet, treating me like a piece of useless rubbish she found hanging about the streets.

pretty sure i blacked out after a while as the rest of that experience is thankfully a blur. i hate having these memories locked in my brain forever, knowing they'll never go away and ill have to constantly relive them.

and that's why i simply had to make a sweet escape, for the time being anyway. its always nice when i get the chance to break away from olivia. i dont feel so controlled and pressured. i feel more like a fluorescent butterfly rather than a concealed caterpillar , tucking and shying away.