Shipped Off... to English Boarding School!

5. Roommates

Living with Henry was not nearly as bad as Alex would've thought. He got to see all the ways in which Henry was human: in his pjs in bed, watching Bake-Off on his laptop, in a robe after getting out of the shower (for some reason he never came out in just a towel, always opting for his large fluffy robe).  Alex also noticed Henry never changed in front of him; he would always take his clothes to their shared bathroom to change– what, would that be too much for Alex to see? Did the prince have to adhere to modesty rules even within his own dorm room? It seemed silly.

But the rest of it was good: Henry was clean, neat, quiet. As the weeks went by, they studied for English together. Henry would catch Alex up on the book if he was behind in the reading (which he usually was since he was also trying to balance studying US government). Henry read a lot— not just the assigned reading. Most of his side of the room was covered in books: from Dickens to Maya Angelou. He also liked to play music, but was considerate, always  asking if Alex was alright with it aloud. Most of it was Bowie.

Somehow, they really did become friends. They joked and talked about authors and music. Then one day Alex made the mistake of bringing up girls:

"Soooooo... anyone you fancy, Mr. Prince Charming?" Alex attempted to fake a British accent while sitting at the foot of Henry's bed.  Henry put down Pride and Prejudice and  immediately became flustered.

"I- uh- no- no one-"

It was funny to watch him squirm, and they were close enough now that Alex felt like he could push it a bit. "Oh I'm sure every girl here is just clamoring to get a date with you."

"I don't really... date."

"Why not? You're supposed to find a wife aren't you? And what better place to look for a high-society lady," he mocked, "than this pompous school?"

Henry was blushing hard and fiddling his hands. "I don't want a w– that's not the life I want."

"What, you don't want to find love? You're reading a romance novel for fuck's sake" Alex joked, gesturing to the discarded book at Henry's side.

"Of course I want to find love. Just. Not that kind of love." Henry's eyes were wide in a way Alex couldn't read.

"What the fuck does that even mean, Henry?"

"I'm not interested in- well, don't make me say it." He looked worried; suddenly fidgeting with his hands. "Don't forget you signed an NDA when you moved in here. You can't tell anyone." Alex was so confused.

"Tell anyone what, Henry?"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Alex. I'm gay." He said staring at Alex.

Alex was frozen. Henry looked so vulnerable.  His pink lips pouty. His skin a smooth buttery-white, blushed with red on both cheeks. He had lowered his crystal-blue eyes. His golden hair reflecting the last few rays of light coming through the window, a piece fell from its place.

Alex wasn't sure what came over him, but he raised a hand to brush the strand back into place. As his fingers grazed Henry's forehead, Henry leaned in and kissed him.

It took Alex a second to react, and then he leans into Henry's warm lips, moving in tandem. Henry reaches a hand into Alex hair and pulls. That's it for Alex- he pushes on top of Henry who falls into the pillows. Alex reaches his hand to fully cup Henry's cheek and continues to deepen the kiss , until, finally, he felt a little push at his chest. Alex immediately pulled away.

Henry's lips were pink and full as he stared up at Alex. Alex realized he was still on top of Henry, so he sat up, unsure of what to say.

"I..." Henry started, "I don't know why I did that."

"Do you regret it?" Shit. What had they done?

Henry gulped, "No. Do you?"

"Shit. I... No. No, Henry I don't." He's not sure where his conviction came from. "I, I uh... really enjoyed that..." Alex looks up at the ceiling. It was true. That might've been the best kiss Alex has ever had... but he was straight. He knew he liked girls, he had even had a girlfriend for a little while in sophomore year. Kissing her always always been good, but this kiss with Henry is on a whole other level.

"So you are gay." Henry said. "I thought, maybe—"

"I'm not gay." Alex Immediately knew he fucked up. Henry's face fell.

"Oh. I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry?"

"Well... for the kiss, you didn't want it."

"No, Henry, I meant what I said, I enjoyed it."

"But you aren't gay..."

Alex swallows and thinks for a moment before answering, "I do like girls, so I'm pretty sure I'm not gay. I guess... I've never really thought about... how I feel about boys."

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"I'm sorry, this all must be very confusing for you."

"Stop apologizing."

"Do you want some time by yourself? Or do you want to talk about it?"

"We'll, I guess— you know you're gay... like you only like boys right?"

Henry nods, "Yeah, I've uh... known for a while."

"But like... how did you know?"

"Well, you know people tell you about all the crushes you'll have on girl after you stop thinking they have cooties? I never did. I just never felt that way about a girl. But boys, well, I would stare, think about holding hands, as I got older, kissing them. And then when I came here, I did and... yeah... I just knew I was."

Alex was quiet as he let what Henry said sink in. His head swirling with thoughts, he still wouldn't look Henry in the eye, "Ok, see, like, I did. I had crushes on girls and I've kissed girls and I've liked it. But I also really liked that."

"Well... not to like... tell you your identity, but you could be bisexual? Am I... the first boy you've ever kissed?"

Alex swallowed again, hard. He thinks back to Liam; they were drunk, sure, but he had liked it? He certainly didn't hate it. "Actually no, I have a friend, back home. We've made-out when we were drunk before."

"Oh. I see."

"No, it's not like that. We're just friends - or we were - he hasn't spoken to me in a while." Alex suddenly realized how true that was. Not a single phone call since he's moved here, and only a few over the summer.

"Oh." Henry said again, sounding relived. Then his voice turned to concerned, "Why haven't you spoken?"

"I'm not sure. I was really busy this summer, campaigning with my mom. And then I moved here. He's back home in Texas, I hope he doesn't think I abandoned him."

"Is it possible, that maybe, he had feelings for you? And you haven't reciprocated, so he took a step back from the relationship?"

"But Liam's not..." he hadn't planned on telling Henry his name but it just slipped out. "Isn't it normal for guy friends to do stupid shit when we're drunk?"

"Well, being gay I might not have the same perspective, but that sounds pretty gay to me. Like I've never heard of guy friends doing stuff like that."

"So, you mean, Liam- he, might have like... liked me. And I... didn't know?"

"I'm not saying that's what it is, but it's possible."

"I never even considered..." Alex stood up, it's too much all at once, his head was racing. "I have calc first thing tomorrow and I have to finish the homework. Can we continue this tomorrow?"

Henry looked defeated, "Of course, I'm sorry—"

"Stop apologizing, seriously, Henry. I'm not mad at you, it's just a lot to wrap my head around right now and I really can't afford to fall behind." He slowly and carefully laid a hand on Henry's.  "Tomorrow?"

Henry smiled up at him. "Tomorrow."