Can't Help Falling In Love

what is this feeling?

"And handsome, just like me" I pushed his hands, while staring at the sunset infront of me, flattered by his sudden touch.
Why was he not afraid of me? Did he even have any idea what I can do to him?

He again rested his head on my shoulder, this was when i moved my shoulder, causing him to fall.
"Hey!, that's rude!"  He said pouting his lips in annoyance.
"Stop with your childishness, I'm nothing like u. Do u have any idea I can kill you?" I asked him seriously.
"But u didn't" he stated.
He was right, why didn't i? Why did I even followed him here?

"Ohh, come on, stop showing that your a bad person,you aren't. And  if you want me to be scared of u, then let me tell u im not" I looked at him blankly before speaking "do u have any idea, how many bad things I've done to people? I'm a bad person and I can ruin your life"
"And, I don't even want to know what bad things u did" he moved his eyes from me, to the sunset before continuing "You know there is a quote I've once read in a book, 'there is no such things as bad people, we are just people who do bad things sometimes' " he looked back at me " it's not too late to make things right"
"Do u think this world will be all nice if I become a good person? It won't, it will fucking loot you if your nice" I said with anger clearly seen on my face.
"I never said, be so good that people will loot you"
"what do u mean? I'm confused" i said with a clear confused look on my face,
He took a deep breath before speaking "when u kill a person, do u have a nice and comfortable sleep? When u walk around, do u walk without any fear of getting killed? No right? But I do, I'm not good to everyone but I'm good where it is required, where it is necessary. if my one help can make someone's life, then I will be good to them" he turned to look at me "U know when I die, I want people to remember me as a good person rather than a spoiled one. I want them to attend my funeral with tears in their eyes, remembering me as a good person"

"I was born like this First, and when people try to mess with me it brings out the devil inside me"
"U really think the devil inside u can end the war? Only a beam of light can make the darkness that's inside u go away but u are trying to make it more darker by putting more darkness in it"
I grabbed his hand in anger, holding it tight

"I Fucking saw my parents die infront of me. What do u accept from me? I was 6 trembling with fear inside the cupboard I was hiding in. Do u think I'll be nice to this world who snatched everything from me"
The tightness in my hold increased but the face infront on me didn't changed a bit, it was the same, smiling.
He removed my hand and hold my arm while resting his head on my shoulder.
" The kid inside the cupboard is still stuck there, he needs a hand who can bring him out of the darkness, in the light to show him how beautiful the world is"
I stared at the kid blankly, knowing something is gonna change in my life and this man here is gonna change it.

I entered the wedding place, watching the crowd and people sitting. i decided to stand near the door not entering inside.
I looked infront to find the 3 man that we rescued sitting infront, on the stage with their love life. A smile formed on my face looking at their smile.
"U can smile?"I looked behind me, to find First standing behind me. He was wearing a white coat which unknowingly made my breath hitched he looked hands-
"What are u doing here? Come inside" he said grabbing my arm and taking me in.
"They wanted to marry guys?" I said looking at the grooms name "the two in the right yes, but the one of the left is marring a girl. Ofc the family of the two said no because they both were guy's, daym we live in 2023 and still people think about gender" First said sarcasticly before continuing "while the guy on the left was said no because the bride technically wasn't as rich as him" i laughed at the reaction he made.
"First, come here" we both heared a voice calling him, he bid a bye at me while warning me not to leave.

The wedding started it was beautiful looking at the 6 of them in love. I never before even thought of love,  so it was very new feeling for me. I shifted my graze from the stage, towards the small guy who was making sure everything around was going as he was planning. Unknowingly a small smile formed on my face.
I felt a person besides me so i turned to look at him. He smiled at me while nodding a hi, I return the same.
"U must be khaothung" he asked me, while i smiled awkwardly nodding.
"Are u the next one who he will help getting married?" I asked him,
He smiled at my question
"No, I'm his father, he is like this from his childhood, he says he find peace while helping someone, i tried stopping him from putting his nose in someone's buisness but when he didn't listened i stopped scolding him. Atleast he wasn't hurting anyone or himself" he said while waving at First who was giving him angry look for being late. It looked like he was really close to his father.

I looked at my phone not knowing what I should reply to the message I had got
" Will u like to be my travel partner?"
First had send this message yesterday and i still had no idea how i should reply to it. I felt like I was now stuck with this guy forever, there was no going back.
As I was staring at the message a voice broke my thoughts
"Sir,"
"what" i screamed at the man who disturbed my thoughts  "sir, the guy from the other da-" without letting him finish, I ran out of my room towards the gate.
I could see First still arguing with the guards
"I've came here many times, why are u guys still not letting me in"
"First" i called him, while everyone present there looked at me shocked because how low my tone was.
I gulped hard knowing people had noticed.
"Next time when he comes let him in" i said coming back on my hard tone while signing First to enter inside.
I could read from his face he was as shocked same as my guards.
He jumped a little, while following me inside while sticking out a tongue towards the guard who was stopping him.

"Whenever your here u can only enter in this room" I said pointing towards my room "if u enter anywhere else, I can't grantee your protection"
"Who's room is this?" He asked, clearly playing with me to which I smiled a little with him
Ok wtf I smiled? But i didn't try to change what was happening because this changes were giving me some what peace inside me.
We entered inside the room as he sat comfortably on my bed
"So, where are we going?"
"Huh? Are we going somewhere?" I asked cluelessly.
"U are my travel partner right so, where are we going?"
"I never agreed" I said looking at him
"But u didn't denyed, so i tooked it as yes"
" See if u haven't decided, I have" he said causing me to laugh
" If u have decided why ask me?"
"Formalities khao"

It's been two months I've met First. idk why but he gave feeling of a close one. I slowly descovered i never had friends who were genuinely honest with me.
The people who i was with all day were scared of me and tay he wasn't scared that I'll hurt him because he knew i won't, he was like big brother to me but he was never honest with me he always let things go half way scared that it might anger me but this kid  infront of me wasn't scared to correct me. He was ready to face the consequences of my anger but not let me take a bad step
To be honest this two months, I was less involved in my business because the most of the time was spend with him. i would often put all the work load on tay and he would handle things more calmly unlike me.

"Where do u wanna go?" He removed his bag and took out a dairy from it.
While reading it "somewhere we can track maybe" he said looking at me
I smile at him "i know a place" the moment I said this, he smiled ear to ear.

"Bike or car?" I asked looking at him
"Jeep" he said smiling while pointing at a old jeep far away.
"That's jeeb is old man's"
"Old man?"
"Forget about him, I'll get the jeep" i said while thinking something before continuing "wait in my room, I'll be back"  i said while leaving to meet the old man.

"Jack" i called looking at the figure sitting on the chair. He looked behind towards me "ohh khaothung, my boy, come in" i walked up to him "why are u here?" "I need jeep's key" I said hesitating "jeep? U said u will never use a jeep, it's not your style. u always needed big car and bike but today u want my old jeep?"
"Yea, I'm going for a trekking "
" With that guy?" He asked looking at me to which i nodded.

First was well known in my area. often people called him 'my guy' i corrected them many times but then I stopped.
He walked towards me and then tapped my shoulder twice "it's in the right drawer" he said, while leaving out of the room

Jack was a middle aged man. When my parents got killed, i met Jack, i was 7 at that time. At the age of  7 i decided I will kill the people who took my family from me, so i joined jack. He made me the man I was today. The day i took revenge he was there right besides me. encouraging me to pull the trigger and shoot the two people infront of me who were begging. That day i thought, i will finally sleep peacefully but I was wrong the day i killed someone the first time was the day, i was not able to sleep peacefully.

"Let's go" I said while showing First the keys of the jeep. A smile formed on his face. He grabbed my arm and dragged me out.

"Come on" i could hear First shouting while I was panting from walking too much "i-i ca- can't do it' i said panting.
He came near me "looks like this gangster is too week" I looked at him before grabbing his neck causing his face to almost touch mine "challenging me kiddo?" I said looking at his face. which has no reaction but was staring at my face intensely, that made my smile disappear while my heart beat faster
All i could think was I liked this guy, But what I was feeling was it really love? What was love? i didn't knew it all this years and now suddenly I was feeling something that I was naming 'LOVE'

Tbc

Author's note
Hope u liked the chapter this one was long.
If any mistakes sorry.