wishful thinking [peeta mellark]

capitol

Water weighed down my lungs as I gripped for something to pull me from the vines that carved their way into my skin. The mud continuing to fill my boots made it impossible to move as water weaved between my outreached palms. Blurring colours of grey painted my vision as my eyes shot open to gain a better look, the safety of my eyelids no longer preventing harrowing shards of water crashing against my brain. Painfully moving my head to see further into the depth around me a wide red blur seemed to be getting closer. My body began to thrash even further into the mud below me all knowledge on survival being abandoned as panic took flight. Wrapping its way around my body and pulling me to the floor the red blur kidnapped my remaining movement urging a muffled scream to erupt from my lips.

"Dawn!" Finnick's large hands shook me awake. Sobs shook my body as he tried to softly calm me down.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. You're safe," he soothed, gliding his hand across my back.

"It's okay, I'm okay," I promised looking up at his warm gaze. Understanding filled his eyes, this only being one of the many mornings he'd been awoken from my pleas for help. Coming up to the first anniversary of my games, the night terrors had only gotten worse. The same dream over and over, of how my life almost ended. How I was almost suffocated by a tributes jacket. The very thing that was designed to keep people alive had almost killed me.

"C'mon Dawn it's time to start getting ready, the costume team are here," Finnick's statement would sound completely outrageous to someone other than us. It would've been to me a year ago if I it wasn't for becoming a victor and having my whole life ripped from my grasp. The feeling of worthlessness weighing more each day as my steps continued to be planned ahead of me. Today was another one of those days as it was my first time being a mentor for district 4. Of course, my brother Finnick would be by my side the whole time which made me slightly less anxious. Even though going to the capitol was a common thing for me these days, today however was different, and my presence was worth more than it ever has before.

Rolling fields seemed to stretch on forever as the train ride to the Capitol continued. My gaze had been glued to the window the whole trip. It was strange sitting here today, as a year ago I was experiencing the complete flip side of this experience. My heart ached for those who felt that way today. It felt extremely cruel for me to be sharing this train ride with the district 4 tributes of this year. Marina and Wells were two children I had known my whole life, we had never been particularly close, but it still didn't help the whole situation. They sat in a booth near the end of the train where Finnick was informing them on something, probably getting their hopes up. Marina's stares couldn't be ignored, continuing throughout their whole conversation until a large horn sounded throughout the train. A breath caught in my chest at the loud noise, something that always happened even after a year of the same routine. Loud noises still made me uncomfortable to a certain extent and I prayed every day that no one could notice. A painfully sharp voice echoed through our compartment, one that had become quite similar belonging to our escort Cressida Snowfall,

"Yes, yes, let's get moving everyone the capitol awaits!" My face physically reacted at the sound as I pulled myself out of my chair and trailed my way towards the exit, catching glimpses of the raging colours of the capitol through the odd shaped windows. The colours became sickening to look at as I arrived at the back door of the train the anxiety I had been controlling the whole trip suddenly resurfaced. Blaring speakers echoed high pitched voices across the platform, while buzzing capitol citizens travelled to their destinations. Dangling my foot over the edge of the train ready to step into the madness, the bright coloured walls around me danced into a rainbow haze. The scream of,
"Somebody help her!" was all I heard before darkness overtook my vision.

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