The summer everything changer- Taylor Jewel

Fourth of july

Now we are all gathered by the front door looking at belly's dads date. they all start talking about how she looks hot except Steven and Belly of course. I could not help but slightly agree even though Taylor obviously looked better even though i am still a little upset about everything that happened. When they come in my brothers and i run away.

Now that everyone has arrived we are all in the backyard having a good time and relaxing. I look over at Conrad every now and then and can't help but notice the bigger than normal smile on his face and i already know exactly why. Some of us have now gathered inside to watch Belly's Dads date make a pomagranite drink. Belly, Jere, and i all try it and decide to make more for our selves. When Conrad walks in he says "well you have to use the good blender" and it instantly reminds me of the kool aid incident. That day i was covered in it and everything was sticky none of us could stop laughing until of course my dad had to come in and ruin things as usual. Again i am glad he is not here this year. We start to get everything set up and are about to start blending. "Man you know what i miss?. Watching Laurel put Dad in his place. You know, she'd walk in she'd be like, "Adam." Conrad says and speak of the devil. He walks in the room. I instantly fell all the happy ness leave and i look over at Conrad to see the same look i have.

Laurel and Adam start talking but i cant stop thinking of how this could go. It's not like something really tenable is going to happened it just seems like whenever my dad is around i feel like i am just a total disapoment. Like nothing i do is ever good enough. I have tried to do the best in everything i do but i still don't feel like it is enough. But i know why that is now. A few years ago we were arguing about something i don't remember anymore but it was probably how i am not doing enough or something like always. Eventually he got so made he said "you were an accident. You were not supposed to happen the least you could do is help out more". After that he tried to apologize but how do things go back to normal after you find this out. Jere was not home so he has no clue it happened and never will. i don't won to ruin the relationship he has with our dad. Conrad knew a little of what happened. He knows we were fighting, he knows really awful things were said. But he does not know exactly what. Back to reality, Jeremiah gets up to hug him and keeps talking to him about what I don't really know as i am still zoned out. At some point he says my name as a way of saying i know your there at least but that was it. No i miss you, how are you doing, nothing like that but that's what i am used to. It has been like this ever since that fight, he never really knows how to act around me anymore. Then my mom walks in and she does not seem to happy that he is here either. Something has been off between them. All the kids get up to go outside and my dad try's to stop both Conrad and i but we both walk past him. I don't know why he would want to talk to me what more could he say. Nothing could change what has already come to the surface, there is no taking back something like that. Now is the time i would really like to text Taylor and tell her all about this. But i cant do that know, not with everything going on with her. So i will have to just keep it to my self.

All the kids are now on the beach and drinking but i don't really drink and i don't join any conversations to focused on everything in my head. i think about texting Taylor again. It's not like anything should be weird between us. We were not together she did nothing wrong. I keep going back and forth in my head. I eventually decide against it for now and try to forget about everything and relax though it's hard. As i look around at the others with their partners and having fun i cant help but think this would be like if everything was perfect. If Taylor was here, we were together and having fun with the rest of them. I know there is not hope of that at all anymore even though there was not much before either. But i cant help but smile at the thought.

As we all start to leave the beach Steven stops me and we fall behind. "Hey um i just want to say about the other night" But before he can finish his thought "No its alright if you like her go for it. Just maybe end it with Shayla." "What no i don't like her, i just happened we were both a little stressed about different things and it happened but it will definitely never happen again." He tries to explain but i can be a little suborn "Hey you don't have to lie its fine" "i am not lying i just thought i should explain since i know there is something there" "one there is not something there and two its fine you don't have to explain your self to me" i say still not wanting to believe him "Fine you don't have to believe me but i am telling the truth. Also try to believe me when i say Taylor does not like me like that either. She can never stop talking or looking at you. She likes you" and with that he walks off. I stay there thinking about what he just told me. I really want to believe him but apart of me still cant.

Every one else going to sit on the docs but i decide to take a little break and go to my room to draw. I don't realize how long it has been till Conrad comes into my room. "Come to escape dad as well" he. Ask and i hum "hey i know i have been a little distracted lately but you can still talk to me." and i do i talk to him about everything and it feels good to get it off my chest. This is the kind of stuff i would not talk to Jeremiah about. The heavier stuff. "I know i don't know much about that whole Taylor situation but believe me when i say she likes you" and with that he walks out as i mumble "thats what everyone keeps saying". But i guess he heard and he shouts back " so maybe you should listen" and i smile.

When i go back outside i get side by the pool with my feet in the water. At this point everyone is off doing their own thing. Eventually my mom comes out with a cake and belly ends up falling as she walks out behind her which causes my mom to fall. My Dad and i run to check up on her and she pushes us both away and i just happened to be so close to the pool that when my dad moved away he bumped me in the pool. Now everyone's eyes are on me and i hate it i get out as fast as possible and go inside. I think people were talking to me but i am not sure because I rush inside to get out of everyone's attention. As i get to my room i cant breathe. I don't even realize what i am doing till it is done and my phone is ringing as it waits for the other side to pick up.

"Em" The person on the other side of the phone says a little confused.
"i ca-cant breath Ta-Tayl-" i try to say but she cuts me off
"It's ok, It's ok take some deep breath with me"
"i ca- cant" I say still not able to catch my breath
"Yes you can, do it with me" she says as she takes deep breath loud enough for me to hear through the phone
" there you go" she says as i start to calm down after a bit
" you wont to tell me what happened"
And i do i tell her. Everything even the things i did not tell Conrad earlier like what my dad said to me during that fight a few years back. it felt so good to get it all of my chest. It was like I could finally breathe again. Taylor did not say anything she just sat back and listened and at some point we moved to FaceTime to make it easier. When i told Taylor, she did not judge me or anything she just said reassuring things. It was amazing. We stayed like that for a while just on the phone. Talking and things were great. It is almost like the party the other night never happened and I whisked it stayed that way but i knew it couldn't. There was still something in the back of my head saying something is wrong and apparently Taylor thought the same thing.

"About the other night" and I did not cut her off like i have been everyone else lastly i just listened. "I don't like Steven like that at all just so you know. it just happened and when it did i knew it was wrong, i know that is not who i wanted to be kissing and that someone else is on my mind, That yo"She starts to say and this time i do cut her off. "wait. Let's not do this over the phone. This is not how i won this tournament go." "your right lets wait... Are we good though" She asks "You were about to confess and i did not shoot you down I would say we are god" We both laugh. I thought This day was going to be nothing but bad and it started that way and i cant be more happy with the way it was going now.

After the phone call ended, even though we both did not really won to, i walked outside with a big smile on my face happy with the conversation i just had. but of course it could not stay that way. When i walk outside i see my Dad and Conrad fighting as usual. As Conrad looked away Adam turns to me. "And you, where were you? You could not bother your self to help clean up." "no i was a little busy making sure I did not have a full on panic attack from having all that attention on me after i fell in the pool because you could not look where you were going. So no I could not help clean up" and with that i walk off not wanting to deal with him anymore. With that i go on the rest of my night with the conversation I had with Taylor on repeat in my head.

Author note
i know i keep saying i will work on this and then i don't but as it get closer to school ending i really want to work on this more. Also to make up for lost time i tried to make this part longer than the rest. Like always let me know what you thing and any suggestions you may have.