When I Found Myself

How'd I Get Here?

🐥señor sunshine☀️
Do ya like em

Y/N 🙄
No I can't say I do

🐥señor sunshine☀️
Well I do so ha

Y/N 🙄
Whatever

🐥señor sunshine☀️
You know u like em

Y/N🙄
Why would I lie to you?

🐥señor sunshine☀️
Oh whatever

Y/N🙄
Ha
I win

🐥señor sunshine☀️
🙄🙄🙄🙄

You let out a breath, a suppressed laugh, at his sour reaction. He's cute when he's mad, you couldn't help but notice that during your few conversations with the guy.

Only a couple seconds after you put your phone down another person walks into the room with you.

I guess I'll give you a little context; your girls (mostly Elana) just convinced you to leave the apartment and head to the gigantic - and very scary - JYPE building to do whatever you need to do to audition. The nice lady at the front desk kindly explained that because you were spotted on the street, and given the business card, you're a special case and "get to skip a couple steps" as she put it.

The man who's just entered the room ushers you to follow him after a bow of greeting. You return the bow before walked after him down a long hallway and into a room.

Judging by the size of the building, you thought all the rooms would be huge, surely they have room to spare here. But this room was tiny, so small it made you a little uncomfortable as you sat at the short table that filled almost the whole room. The chairs were comfortable, which somehow eased your unease about the room as a whole. The very strong urge to just relax back in the seat and sleep hit you (now you joke that this was the most challenging part of the audition process) but you want to make the best first impression you can.

"Lucky for you, Y/K/N I speak English as well." The man finally breaks the silence, jolting you a little but somehow you didn't let it show.

"Today must be my lucky day," you laugh, trying to seem calm and comfortable.

"Let's get started, shall we?" The man prompts followed by a smile after you nod and lean forward. "My name's Jung Haneul, nice to meet you, Y/N." He reaches his hand out over the table.

"Same to you." You keep a pleasant expression on your face as you accept Haneul's handshake.

10:45 PM
/-|-\-|-\

To be honest I can't remember what happened, all I remember is him telling me to await an email telling me my status in the company. I'm kinda scared I can't remember any of it, but I've decided not to worry about it, some things are out of my control. What I most definitely am gonna worry about is that email. God, I have anxiety thinking about it right now...

You sigh, dropping your pen after reading through what you just wrote down. The diary finds its way back into the hidden pocket of your book bag as you fall back into your bed. You check the clock on your bedside table only to be faced with the numbers 22:46. You don't know why, but you can't wait to receive that email that basically decides your whole future.

It's been five hours, mate, calm down.

Somehow you end up thinking about your missing memories again, even after you told yourself that subject was best left in the back of your mind. It scares you that there's pieces of your life you can't recall, and you really wish you could remember what happened after the initial conversation with Haneul. You've blamed the problem on too many things, your "childhood trauma" (you've also told yourself that's a bit of a stretch to call it that), ADHD, anxiety, and some other nonsense you don't want to admit to yourself.