Our little secret (phan)

Chapter 1

Here we are again. Drawing cat whiskers in each other like idiots and pretending like nothing is going in between us. I really wish I could just come out and say it because well, most of our viewers wouldn't give a shit anyway so why can't we? Oh right, because Phil is so afraid. I love him but he really needs some more #yolo in his life. What am I even thinking. God I annoy myself.

"I think that's enough for today" Phil said with a slight sigh.
"Okay" I mumbled.
We could record more but Phil looks super tired.
"Can I ask you something" I asked
"Go for it" Phil replied while packing up the filming equipment.
Wait, what am I doing! I can't just ask him why we can't come out. But I really want to. "Nevermind" I say with a sigh.
There's no point in that. I don't want to push him.

It's been an hour since I (tried) to ask Phil about it all. Iv been sat in my browsing position for two hours and phials playing Mario chart next to me. I look over and see him smiling at the game. "Having fun?"I ask him smiling widely at him.
Phil nodded at me the. Continued to play. I watched him for a while. He saw sat crossed legged on the couch. Phil kept laughing again and again. I realise why I love him now.

A few minutes later he finished the race. He sat back and sighed looking tired from the game somehow. "Fun?" I asked.
"Yeah. I lost but I just going to blame you" he giggled
"Oh thanks Phil" I said and sighed but ended up laughing with him.
We stayed up for hours, talking about the future, YouTube but mostly Haru of course. I checked my phone. "Jeez, it's two am" I said sounding shocked.
"Really?" Phil sounded more shocked then me
"Yeah" I said laughing.
I could see his blue eyes staring at the ceiling. Deep in thought. I wonder what he was thinking. "Hey, Dan?" Phil said sitting up looking at me.
"Yes..." He was making me nervous.
He was silent for a moment then he started to lean on closer to me. Shit. What do I do! My body started filling with anxiety. Iv never kisses Phil before and we both decided to keep it platonic. Yeah, okay sometimes I do wish to have more but I don't even know anymore. I accept it and lean in also. Our lips touch. I can feel the warmth from him. I pull him onto my lap while kissing him deeply. My hands are on his back, tracing circles on him. His hands are cupped around my face, his thumbs caressing my checks. God this feels weirdly right.

We both pull away, a little surprised in what happened. We sat in dark and silence for a few minutes. "Wow..." I finally said.
"That was..." He spoke
"Good" I finished his sentence.