Combined these two days because 12/1 didn't have a lot of good quotes.
Enjoy!
- Lin :D
Instructor: you gotta work on it.
Me and My partner: mmhmm *looks down at flow*
Instructor: No, I'm not sure you're understanding. You need to have a longer case by next week otherwise I'm going to take you all to the parking lot and make you do pushups until your arms fall off like crash test dummies.
Instructor: What are you working on?
Me: *folds screen of computer* my rebuttal.
Instructor: okay, good. As long as you're not writing fanfiction or something.
Me: no, I have too much writer's block.
Instructor: So if they can't tell you how much, what is this clown business?
Instructor: Hey, nerds! Focus!
Instructor: Girls. Don't eat stuff you find in the desks like those kids over there.
Instructor: my dude, you wrote an Aff card on Neg.
S6: there are many people inside Panda Express, and none of them are Asian.
—-one week later—-
Instructor: What's up squids, and where is everyone today, I didn't yell at you guys that much last class.
S7: 4CHAN INFINITY CHAN-
Me: NOT 4CHAN
Instructor: 4chan's creators would be responsible for all the edgelord stuff their users post.
Instructor: Y'all are lucky I'm not giving you homework. I could make you do pushups and make you videotape it-
S7: YOU COULD MAKE US POST IT ON 4CHAN
S7: Old gen alpha?
Me: WE'RE old gen alpha.
S7: How do you know that?
Instructor: Because I'm old.
S7: You say that like you don't want to be old.
Instructor: I mean, I'm an old millennial.
S7: I do not hold your hotspot password hostage
S7: Because I was sick. And I had swimming stuff. And I almost died.
Me: Should we be concerned?
S7: No. Yes.
S1: I knew an Eva who was actually called Eva.
S1: Us tax-payers will hand over a bunch of cash to Uncle Sam every year in order to fund their blowing up of kids in the Middle East.
S1: This benefits everybody because during a recession, Uncle Sam doesn't have any money to continue blowing up kids. So, he is quite sad. Also his economy is blowing up. And for the average simpleton like you, it also isn't quite fun. That is because you can't use your money to buy 10,000 rubber ducks because you have no money and the rubber duck company doesn't have any money either to make rubber ducks that you can't buy.
(A/N: I kid you not, these are the exact words from S1's debate case.)
S2: Scrooge McDuck is the worst!!!!!
Instructor: One of the best student interactions I have ever had was when this girl was complaining about how her mom was making her go to some fancy private school, and she had to go to a meet and greet, and I heard her partner whisper under her breath "Meet and yeet."
Me: I've been to one more tournament than you.
S1: I haven't been to any tournaments.
Me: EXACTLY
S7 and S8 on multiple occasions: #deadanddying
S7: Monkeys we're all monkeys inside
...
What's your opinion on monkeys? Good for existence or bad for existence
S7: IhatethisIhatethisIhatethis I hate life
S8: I'm so proud of you, my child.
S7: I feel like we're just psychopaths at this point because we're all debate kids.
S7: I hear laughing. I feel concerned.
S1: [S7] you dying monkey
Me: I'm losing braincells by the minute.
S7: Isn't that the point?
S1: You are the summary of poorness.
S8: You preach girl
[silence]
S7: What's your opinion on death?
S1: I'M HOLDING HIM RANSOM PAY UP OR HE DIES *holding S8 in a fake headlock*
S8: [S7] don't pay I wanna die
S8: We're not going to a tournament
S7: We're going to hell
S8: Ew, [private school name]. Isn't that where they ride the demon or something?
S1: Don't hurt me I'm a young boy
S1: MOLE PEOPLE
S7: YOU SHALL DIE NOW
YOU ARE READING
My debate class out of context
RandomMy debate class is full of chaotic middle schoolers and it's amazing
