Promised To Another

BAD, BAD THOUGHTS

I found a corner in the library that was secluded with no one sitting on the nearby desks.

I dumped my books and pencil case on the desk and took a calming breath before I took out the culprit that started this downward spiraling of my day. My calculus test one script.

A big red 30% stood staring at me.

I rubbed my temples and took another calming breath before I started looking through my script.

I have a couple of limitations that I can come up with in under just 30 seconds, but academics is not one of them, or at least it hasn't been one of them until I started my first year of my undergrad degree in computer science two months ago in the University of Cape Town. Calculus has been showing me flames! I sit through lessons and still struggle to grasp the concepts and go through another struggle when I try studying on my own after class.

Having lived on a farm in a small village my whole life, I was homeschooled along with my 6 siblings. We used to have a tutor come in a couple of times a week for one-on-one lessons, and we took most of our exams online. The whole setup was such that it catered to each one of us's specific needs. My new learning environment in the university made me feel like a fish that is used to living in a fishbowl being suddenly thrown into an ocean and expected to thrive.

Coming to Cape Town has been such a huge shock to my system.

Everything was on a grander scale, loud and moving too fast. It felt like I was constantly getting motion sickness and trying to catch up with everything.

I laid my head on the desk and closed my eyes and immediately I was back home in our ranch with my mum's soothing voice in the background as she sang quietly as she prepared our dinner. The simplicity of it all used to drive me crazy, but now I feel like I would do anything to have that back.

"Bad, bad thoughts, I need to focus and stop pining for a simpler life, this is my life now.", I reminded myself as I snapped back to reality and got up from where I was seated.

Since I couldn't focus on doing math, I might as well find something to occupy myself with, something that wouldn't demand so much brain power from me until I leave. I headed over to the computer science section of the library and browsed over the spines of the neatly lined books. We had recently started a topic on object oriented programming in one of my programming modules, so I guess it wouldn't hurt to read ahead on that. I picked out our recommended text book and started towards where I was seated.

Just as I was passing by one of the aisles I spotted gray sweatpants and I did a double take. It was the weirdo from outside the library! He was standing by one of the shelves with a book open in his hands, a slight frown between his eyes and a look of concentration in his face. Just as I was about to look away, his eyes snapped up and locked with mine. He gave his annoying smile as recognition flooded his eyes. I quickly walked away.

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I was engrossed in the book before me, as I typed in code on my laptop from time to time to check if I understood what I was reading. I was more in my element here. I noticed on my peripheral as someone took a seat two chairs away from me, and as I continued to type away on my laptop I felt eyes on me but I kept on working.

The feeling of someone looking at me persisted until I lifted my eyes from my laptop only to be met by the same annoying smile that has been haunting me since my arrival at the library entrance. You know that weird phenomenon where you see a stranger once and you start seeing them everywhere? Yep, that's what I am stuck in right now. I let out a grunt of annoyance and hoped it showed on my stare.

Apparently not! Because this guy had the audacity to get up and pull out a chair right next to me and sit himself comfortably!

Dear reader, did I not mention that the whole section of the library I was currently seated in was empty, that is; there were multiple rows upon rows of empty desks scattered all over the place, and yet this man chose this seat here right next to me. He literally broke the unsaid public golden commandment;

"Thou shall not breathe the same oxygen as me unless absolutely necessary!"

So my only defense mechanism was to make sure my hostility is seen and heard in every breath out of me.

"Hie, do you mind if I talk to you for a minute Arielle", he asked as he continued to smile. It was as if he had an invisible shield around him that repels all my hostile missiles aimed at him. My name rolled off his tongue like we were old acquaintances and not like he had read it off my student id without my permission just a while ago.

I just stared at him, and he took it as an invitation to go on.

"I saw you out there earlier on", I kept on staring at him and he went on.

"I am sorry that I seem to keep on bothering you."

I thought, "finally! Something that we are on the same page about". I kept my annoyed stare steady on him.

Then suddenly he seemed shy, which was so unlike him based on my judgment from my brief interactions with him so far.

"This is so unlike me, but here goes nothing. You seem very interesting and would like to take you out for coffee sometime if you don't mind", he said breathlessly, as if he wanted to say the words quickly before he talked himself out of uttering them.

What I am about to share has nothing to do with my confidence or how I see myself.

But I was literally thrown back by his words, not because I don't believe I am someone worthy of being asked out, but because today was the day I least expected to be noticed like that. If I am being honest, I was dressed to be a flower on the wallpaper, seen but not noticed. I had my braided hair up in a messy bun, a very loose graphic t-shirt with leggings and flip-flops. And I was pretty sure that I looked as tired as I felt, I even spotted dark circles under my eyes earlier on when I took a brief look at my reflection.

Not to mention that I was not particularly nice in our earlier interactions.

I think my shocked expression was clear as day on my face because of his next comment,

"I didn't know that it was such a shocking thing to be asked out for coffee", he said with a self-conscious laugh.

"Ummh...",I cleared my throat.

"Interesting? You just met me like two minutes ago," I said with an incredulous look on my face.

"Well, that was long enough for me to decide that you were interesting," he replied without missing a beat.

"Well, I am flattered but I will have to decline your offer. Thank you.", I said as I returned my attention back to my laptop as a clear indication that I was done talking to him.

"Oooh...kay. Do you mind if I sit here throughout my study session?",

he asked.

"Not necessarily, but I wouldn't mind terribly if you moved to one of these many vacant desks.", I gestured to the empty desks around the library.

Either the sarcasm dripping all over my voice went over his head or he plain chose to ignore it, because he made himself comfortable as he started reading from his textbook and making notes in his notepad.

A loud sigh escaped my lips as I picked the headsets that lay beside my laptop and put them over my ears. I was very intent on ignoring this stranger beside me and proving that I am not affected by his presence at all.

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Fun fact; I actually did meet my first boyfriend at the uni library 😂😂. So the cute meet was definitely inspired by real life events. I was a lot nicer to him than Arie though😅, and the Joker ended up getting my number because he was smooth.
Ooh ... Yes I did a double take when he said 'wow', because I was that crusty that evening 😭😂😂, but apparently he liked what he saw😉.

Please do share your 'cute meets', I am a sucker for love stories incase you didn't know 🤗