three am and i'm still awake

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Taylor's footsteps felt light as she padded down the hallway of the penthouse hotel room. There was a single lamp illuminating the living room to the best of its abilities, but shadows veiled the area. Taylor could hear the static of the lamp, the sound magnified by the absence of any other noise. Through the windows, the city of Buenos Aires was as alive as any city could be at 3am. She sat down on the couch and opened her phone.

The apples of her cheeks grew rosy in the blue light of the phone screen as she scrolled, glancing at article headlines about her and Travis' kiss after her show tonight. Taylor liked to refrain from googling herself, however, she gets curious. She chuckled to herself lightly, exploring how each publication put out the same article over and over while only changing the smallest of details. Her smile faltered as she realised what she was doing, and put her phone down beside her.

Taylor often thought about how she didn't feel like a real person. And as happy as she was, or thought she should be, in this moment she couldn't help that feeling from creeping back into her. She inhaled deeply as she let in the recurring worry that she is dragging a man into the mess that was her life, a wonderful man that did not deserve what comes with being associated so closely with her. Taylor swallowed harshly. She was really quickly falling for Travis. He had been so kind whenever she had discussed this with him, but she couldn't stop wondering if he really truly knew what he was getting himself into. She thought Joe did.

Taylor glanced at the guitar leaning against the end of the couch. It had made an appearance in the middle of lunch as the result of a lighthearted argument surrounding how guitars work. Taylor was adamant she was right, and she had almost spilled her glass of water while standing up from the table to dash to the spare bedroom. She smiled to herself now, remembering the way Travis had watched her with a slight smirk as she emerged from the hallway, holding the guitar she decided to bring to Argentina.

Taylor now stretched across the couch to reach the guitar. When in her lap, she hesitated before breaking the silence of the room to strum the chords of Better Than Revenge, the song she would play for tomorrow's show. But her hands soon paused, and she stared at the strings for a moment. She removed the capo and switched songs.

"Our coming of age has come and gone, suddenly this summer it's clear," Taylor sang soft and slow, muting the strings ever so slightly with her palm. She glanced in the direction of the bedroom, cautious to not wake Travis.

"I never had the courage of my convictions, as long as danger is near. And it's just around the corner, darling, 'cause it lives in me. No, I could never give you p-" Taylor's voice fell and she inhaled sharply, fighting against the stinging sensation by her eyes. She sat with her head low, taking long uneven breaths.

"No, I could never give you peace," she tried to continue, but her voice was shaky and her eyes filled with the tears she couldn't fend off.

"Taylor?"

Shit

Taylor sniffed and looked up, directly at Travis standing in the hallway, who sported bleary eyes and a faint frown. She opened her mouth fast, thoughts fleeting of what she could say to prevent this situation from becoming really awkward. Her mouth closed and opened again.

"Hey, sorry, I- I uh, couldn't sleep," she said with a small shrug and apologetic smile.

Travis rubbed his eyes and stepped forward. "That's alright, what are you up to?"

She bit her lip and looked down at the guitar, "Nothing. I don't know". She moved the guitar off her and placed it on the floor leaning against the couch.

The room became very still, and Travis nodded in her peripheral vision before walking to the couch and sitting down next to her. Taylor looked at him.

"Are you alright?" Travis spoke kindly, with no judgement.

Taylor sniffed, nodded, and then laughed at herself for nodding. Travis chuckled along with her, but he still had concern in his eyes that she hated. "Really, I'm fine. Just tired. I don't know why I can't sleep," she smiled softly, before frowning. "Oh, no, did I wake you up?"

"No, hey, no it's fine. What were you playing?" Travis answered as he reached out to stroke her arm.

"I'm sorry," Taylor whispered, tears welling again. She definitely woke him up.

"Tay, it's fine, seriously! What's wrong?" Travis shuffled closer.

"Nothing! I'm sorry, I don't even know why I'm crying. This is so embarrassing," Taylor giggled and wiped at her eyes.

There was a pause and the room felt quieter than ever. Travis watched her, clearly trying to figure out what's best to do in this situation.

"Do you wanna come back to bed?" Travis whispered with a tilt of his head. Taylor sighed and nodded, relieved that he decided against asking what was wrong again.

Travis stood up slowly, his hand drifting down her arm to hold her hand. Taylor took it and stood up, walking back to the bedroom with Travis.

When in bed, Travis didn't allow any negative space between them. Pressed up against Taylor, he moved his hand to her head and played with her hair softly.

"Do you want to talk, angel?"

Taylor's eyes fluttered and she smiled at the feeling of his hand in her hair. "Keep doing that, please."

She finally felt relaxed enough to sleep. They could talk tomorrow.

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