The Girl She Could Finally Be

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She protected her peace and stayed out of things that weren't her business, now, which had taken a lot of time to make happen.

She cared more about caring for herself and exploring life's wonders than exploring deaths mysteries.

Pip had promised that she wouldn't be the girl she was before. She wasn't a murderer, just a twenty-year-old girl living the life that she couldn't before.

She kept that in mind as Ravi flipped their positions, gently laying Pip on her back and huffing a sigh as she wrapped her leg around his.

"Please?" She breathed between kisses.

That was all Ravi needed to hear.

After their morning well spent, Pip had drifted back to sleep, and Ravi had taken it upon himself to make Christmas cookies for Pip.

When she woke up, she was most certainly a bit out of it, confused as to what had happened an hour earlier.

She didn't seem to care anymore when she smelled the cookies, grinning and kicking off the sheets.

Pip figured she should finish getting ready for the day before she went to attack Ravi with kisses, but her heart still seemed to swell in her chest.

As she pulled her jeans and turtleneck on, she couldn't help but smile. God, he was sweet.

She flipped her hair over her shoulder and pulled her slippers on, smiling at Ravi as she walked into the living room.

"Hey, sleepyhead. I made cookies," he grinned.

"I could tell," she nodded, leaning against the kitchen island and grabbing a cookie.

"So," he said. "Do you want to go shopping?"

"Shopping? Color me intrigued."

"And I was thinking you could get your nails done, too. If you want."

"Aww, Ravi, you don't need to do that."

"Well, I've got money, now. And you deserve it, so, grab your coat and we can get a cup of coffee on the way to the mall."

"I really, really love you," she reminded him, grabbing her jacket, her purse, and her phone.

"I love you too," he said, pausing her in the doorway for a kiss.

She had gotten cherry red, almond shaped acrylics, three heavy bags full of clothes from the mall, and had stopped Ravi for a kiss in the car. "Have I told you I love you today?"

"Twice, yes."

"Only twice? Jeez, I need to work on that." She had giggled. "I love you."

"I love you more."

It was evening by the time they were heading home, and even after such a wonderful day together, Pip couldn't help but let her mind drift to the darker corners of her thoughts.

But she kept a smile painted on her lips and let the storm in her mind consume her.

When they were home, she was half asleep, heart pounding inside of her chest as she tried to tune out her thoughts.

She stripped of her day clothes and replaced them with pajamas the moment she stumbled into her bedroom. She pulled the curtains shut over the window and practically collapsed into her bed.

Pip might've been tired then, but her exhaustion didn't last.

She was in bed by nine and slept until one A.M.

At one A.M, she rolled onto her side and stared at the curtains for twenty minutes, falling back to sleep after staring at the carpet for three minutes.

At two, she sat up, a bead of sweat running down her temple. She couldn't sleep if her mind couldn't be quiet.

She was back to sleep by 2:23.

At 2:45, she woke up to the sound of six gunshots in the back of her head.

At three, she shot upwards, another head of sweat rolling down her face, and decided she needed to do something.

Quietly, she slipped out of bed and into their bathroom.

She shut the door with her foot and locked it behind her.

She dug through the drawers until her fingers hit the metal of her scissors, and it was like she blacked out, because one second her hair was like a waterfall down her back and the next it was just above her shoulders.

She wasn't sure how she cut her hair so evenly, but while staring at herself in the mirror, she realized it was right.

It was like any anxiety she was having had disappeared. The gunshots in the back of her mind were silenced, and the face of the man she killed was no longer a face she could remember.

She realized, in that moment, that cutting her hair was severing the last tie to the girl she used to be.

Pip had a new life, now. She was a new person, with a new home, and a healthy relationship, and a new haircut, and a new world.

Her fresh beginning could finally begin.

Somehow, the brown locks of hair at her feet told her that she could finally start over.

With a deep breath, she dropped the scissors onto the counter and smiled at the girl in the mirror.

The girl who, before, she didn't recognize.

The girl she could finally be.

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