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I stood underneath our new shower head, the rainfall cascading over my head and down my back. I shut my eyes, letting the hot water scald my skin, hoping it would purge the memories of the past and drain with the water beneath me.
It was a long day, a stressful day, a nervous day, but I was glad it was over. We didnt cook anything since our kitchenware was still tucked away into a box but we settled on chinese and wine for the night. It was needed! I just wanted to be under my man, watch our TV on the floor, and start our new life together.
"Hmm..." I pondered out loud. I. Inhaled the steam from the shower, feeling my lungs expand and constrict with each breath I took.
I wanted to walk out of this shower and into my new reality. But I was scared. I was petrified for no known reason but I knew I couldn't run away from my fears forever.
"Sigh..." my eyes attempted to flutter open, but they remained shut as the water droplets weighed down on my eyelashes.
I should be more excited than this, I thought.
This is supposed to be our new beginning. Right? I couldnt find the answer for myself even if I tried. It was all becoming one long run-on sentence.
Damarius and I moved from our hometown to a new city for a new start at life. In our home city there were continuous rumors going around about him and I. To the point I couldnt take it anymore. From cheating, to fights, to overall slander. Women and men would call my phone all hours of the night, taunting me for whatever reason other than to provide me a peace of mind.
So we both agreed to move out of the city and start fresh where nobody knew us. We both changed our numbers and agreed to give us another chance. I held on to the hope of us getting it together, starting a family and living happily ever after. But now? I just dont know.
After 4 years together, I dont know if I can continue to be in a state of 'I dont know'. I sighed to myself, dried my skin, and got dressed. The butterflies in my chest felt like they were about to lay eggs right in my heart and take it away when they matured.
But I had to keep the faith for the both of us.
I knew what he told me was the truth. I just knew it from the Bo-
"Baby, are you coming? You 'bout to miss the entire beginning of the movie getting oiled up in the shower."
Damn, how long was I really in here? I threw my hair up with a claw clip, wrapped my robe around my body, put on some lip gloss and made my way into the living room. When Damarius looked at me, all he could do was chuckle and smile my way.
"Baby, you didn't even dry off all the way. I can just pause the movie and come in there and help you dry off." He pulled in his bottom lip, eyeing my body up and down. I felt a tingle in between my legs that finally simmered down from earlier.
