[BoyxBoy] ✓ I Fell In Love With An Emo Boy

49. COWARD

It was terrible. I wanted it to end so bad. I wanted to stand up for him but I just couldn't.

We were heading out after the last class. My friends and I. When we walked by Timothy, Dave pushed him into the lockers while passing. Like it was nothing. This time he actually pushed him hard enough for Timothy to fall down.

My eyes widened and my hands balled into fists.

Stop touching him. Was all I could think.

Blade and some girls helped him up but I still felt awful. I was supposed to protect him.

✪

I screamed loudly when I was alone in my car.

"FUCK!" I yelled. I was going insane. I slammed my hands into my head.

"Why are you such a coward!" I yelled at myself.

You have to help him.

I can't. The way those guys had looked at me when they thought Timothy was wearing my sweater. Over something so little. Imagine telling them that Timothy is why I get up in the morning. That he's the only person that's really made me feel. That I would do anything for him..

Would. But I can't.

"Coward!" I yelled.

T opened the door and sat in the passenger seat. He looked normal. He didn't even look upset. Until he saw my face.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He reached out to touch me.

"Don't!" I slapped his hand away. "Don't do that! Don't try to comfort me! I should be comforting you!"

"About what?" T's eyes only looked worried. Worried for me. Even when my friends were torturing him every single time they saw him. He was only worried about me.

"About them! They're hurting you! You're supposed to be mad at them! At me!" I screamed.

"You didn't do anything-"

"And I should've! I should've defended you! Instead I just let them mess with you like you don't matter!"

"Josh, it's okay. I'm used to it." Timothy stroked my arm but I pushed him away.

"Stop saying that! It's not okay! And it's not okay that I'm hiding you like you're some worthless thing! How are you so fine with all this?!"

"I know what I signed up for. You're not out yet and-"

"I'm not gay! And I'm never coming out! It's just you! I only like you!"

Timothy stared at me for a while but then he nodded soothingly. "Okay."

"How do you not care!" I yelled, louder than before.

Timothy didn't answer for a while. 

"I just want to make things easier. And it's easier for both of us if I don't take things personally. I know you don't mean it. And I know you don't like it when your friends treat me that way. You don't have to say it and we don't have to talk about it. It's fine. As long as we're together I don't care what happens-"

"Or maybe you just don't care at all." I said bitterly.

"What do you mean?" T asked confused.

"About us. About me."

Now Timothy finally looked hurt. His face crumbled. 

"Why would you say that?" He whispered.

"Am I wrong?" 

"Of course you are!" Timothy insisted.

"I don't believe you." I answered.

Timothy was stunned. He turned away and looked out at the road. A few seconds of silence went by.