in the middle of the chaos | jean kirstein x fem!reader

20 | in the middle of putting on the green cloak

''Hey, Eren,'' Jean turned to him. Y/n sighed as she stood by his side. Was Jean about to start trouble again? They haven't been there for a full day yet. ''I heard that, as a titan, you tried to kill Mikasa. Mind explaining yourself?''

Eren's eyes widened. ''That's wrong,'' Mikasa said. ''Eren was trying to kill a fly—'

''I didn't ask you,'' Jean cut her off. ''Say, Mikasa. That wound on your cheek seems pretty deep. When did you get it?''

Mikasa hid her wound with her hand and looked away. Y/n crossed her arms and looked at Jean. ''Leave her alone. It's normal to come out of battle with scars.'' Y/n unconsciously lifted her hand to her own half-healed wound.

Jean narrowed his eyes. ''Yeah, but not one inflicted by your comrades.''

Y/n raised an eyebrow. Specifically, the one on the side of her new wound. ''Really?''

Jean watched her for a moment, seemingly confused. Then his eyes fell on her gash and he scoffed, looking away. ''That's different. I—''

''I think it's true,'' Eren said, his eyes on the ground. ''In my titan form, I tried to kill Mikasa.''

Jean jumped at that. ''So you don't really remember it, huh? In other words, you weren't aware you had that power until now, and you lack the means to control it.''

''Yeah, that's right.''

Silence. Jean sighed and faced the rest of their comrades. ''Hear that, guys? That's the situation we're in. Our lives and mankind are in his hands. We'll probably die without Eren ever knowing, just like Marco.''

Y/n's eyes widened and dropped to the ground. Did he really need to mention Marco? Did he really already have to spread his negativity to their comrades?

''Jean, why are you driving Eren into a corner like this?''

''You know, Mikasa . . . Not everyone can blindly die for Eren like you, without anything in return. We have the right to know . . . what exactly we're risking our lives for. Otherwise, we'll waved at the moment of truth. We expect something out of Eren. Let us know what to expect. And whether it's worth our lives.'' Jean suddenly grabbed Eren by the shoulders, almost yelling in his face. ''So, Eren! We're seriously counting on you, okay?''

———

''You're right, you know?''

Jean's head snapped up — Y/n stood next to him with her arms crossed. He'd been sitting outside the mess hall alone for a few minutes now, having left without an explanation. He hadn't heard when she'd arrived. ''About what?''

Y/n sat close next to him, her knee touching his thigh as she sat cross-legged. ''What you said to Eren earlier. That no one really wants to die and all that.''

''Oh, that.'' Jean nodded. ''Of course I was. I'm not going to die for some mindless bastard titan.''

Y/n scoffed. She pulled on a piece of grass and twirled it between her fingers. ''Don't get so full of yourself now.''

''Whatever. I'm still right.''

Silence fell between the two. The only light around them came from a candle hanging on the wall next to the door. The flame illuminated Y/n's face and Jean dared to steal a glance. She looked so pretty with her green cloak wrapped around her shoulders and her tired eyes.